The Best 21 Kids English Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kids English jokes. There are some kids english childrens jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kids english fluently puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kids English Jokes and Puns

In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word contagious . Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.

- Susan?

- I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!

- Very good. What about you, Johnny?

- Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious!

When I was a kid my English teacher looked my way and said, "name two pronouns."

I said, " who, me?"

English, American and Arab guy bragging in a bar about their large family.

The American says: "I have 4 kids. One more, and I can make a basketball team!"

The English says: "I have 10 kids. One more, and I can make a football ("soccer") team!"

The Arab guy says: "I have 17 wifes. One more, and I can make a golf course!"

A english teacher asked the class...

... Use the word 'dandelion' in a sentence.

The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed -

De Cheetah is fastah dandelion'

My Middle Eastern dad has learned English from watching infomercials.

So when I would get in trouble as a kid and get punished, he would finish by saying "But wait, there's more!"

An English teacher went to Germany to teach the German kids English words.

On Day one, he taught them all the English words beginning with A.

Day two, he taught them all the English words beginning with B. After day three which was words C, he thought to himself.

"How are they gonna handle D-day?"

TIL Older forms of English kept Latin's gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

What's the difference between autocorrect and my kid?

Autocorrect knows every single word in english, except for swears.

An English teacher asks Little Johnny

Make an opposite of this sentence: 'Kids in the dark usually make errors.' - Little Johnny: Errors in the dark usually make children."

An English kid and Russian kid were examining a beehive together.

English kid: See that one? We call that the Queen because it is the leader of the hive, just like the Queen is the leader of our country.

Russian kid: We call it the czar.

English kid: Well that's a little bee czar.

A guy came up to us on the beach in Ensenada the other day and said in English, Did you hear about the kidnapping a few minutes ago? It happened right over there...

The kid was fine though. They just woke him up.

It took me about eight seconds to get it...

You can explore kids english mandarin chinese reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kids english nursery rhymes dad jokes. There are also kids english puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why do English kids repeat the alphabet only to the letter S?

After S is tea time.

An English kid, a Spanish kid and a Chinese kid are in nursery school together...

The teacher asks: What does the doggy say?

The English kid replies: Woof Woof!

The Spanish kid replies: Guau Guau!

The Chinese kid replies: Sizzle Sizzle!

English kid: Miss, I need a wee!

His Scottish teacher: A wee what, lad?

Offensive warning

An English man, a Welsh man and a Pakistani man are waiting at a hospital as their wives had just given birth. A midwife comes in and explains that the name tags have been messed up and they will have to work out which baby belongs to who. The English man, by right, goes first and chooses what is clearly the Pakistani child. When the baby's father points this out to him, he says I know, but there's a Welsh kid in there and I'm not taking any chances

What are the most offensive jokes you know?

What's the difference between Pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

That joke got a kid suspended from my high school english class.

What do the English and Welsh have in common?

Kids are their definition of a good time.

What is an English kids favorite letter?


Kid 1: My gym teacher swam half way across the English channel but had to turn back

Kid 2: Why only half way?

Kid 1: Well he was became tired.

Innocence is Bliss

Kid in an English class : Me sleep with Dad last night.

Teacher (correcting) : No dear, I slept with Dad last night.

Kid : U might have come after I slept

Teacher : Get out!

Where do English prime-ministers take their kids on vacation?

Lourdes. Mother Theresa always goes there.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kids english guttural jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kids english twi piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes