The Best 35 Kids Christmas Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kids Christmas jokes. There are some kids christmas holiday season jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kids christmas christmas carols puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kids Christmas Jokes and Puns

I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas...

FML, now I'm stuck taking care of a puppy.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

When Christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days...

I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.

What did the handless boy get for Christmas?


Just kidding, he's still trying to open his present.

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?


Just kidding, I'm actually not sure, they haven't opened it yet.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?


Nah, I'm just kidding. He hasn't opened it yet.

Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids...

...shame really, they would have loved a kitten.

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid...

I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.

In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me...

"Because they make the toys."

A 7 year old kid happily asks him mum

Kid: Mummy, why am I getting my Christmas present on 18th August?

Mum: Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy, son.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet

You can explore kids christmas christmas eve reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kids christmas childrens dad jokes. There are also kids christmas puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the kid with no arms get for christmas?


Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.

A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship.

The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids. The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof. The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque. The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptized them, confirmed them, and now they only come around on Christmas and Easter.

My family was so poor when I was a kid...

We could only exchange glances at Christmas!

In London this Christmas one in 5 children will not get a gift from Santa

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas dinner with their parents

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas tree in their house

This is not a message from the Salvation Army or unicef for you to donate

One in every 5 kids in London is a Muslim and they don't celebrate Christmas

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas?


What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

No one knows, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

What does a black kid get for Christmas?

Your bike.

How does a redditor get karma when they don't deserve it?

Piece of ca.....I'm just kidding they ask what's a flat earther's favorite Christmas decoration?

Their s'no globe.

Why do Mexican kids eat tamales on Christmas?

So they can have something to unwrap

Do you know what the kid with no hands got for Christmas?

Me neither. He couldn't open his presents.

what did the man with no hands get for christmas?


haha just kidding he hasnt even opened his present yet

If you want to save money this Christmas.

Now is the perfect time to tell the kids.

Santa didn't make it through the pandemic..

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?


Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

What did the handless kid get for Christmas?

Idk, he couldnt open it

When I was a kid, for Christmas I asked for something to wear and something to play with ..

So my father gave me a pair of sweatpants and cut the pockets out.

Why Hasn't Santa got any kids?

He only comes once a year and that's down a chimney

How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents

Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.

What did the poor, unfortunate, paraplegic kid get for christmas?



Why did Suzy fall of the swings?

Cause she had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Suzy.

What did Suzy get for Christmas?


Ha Ha just kidding that's mean

We actually don't know she hasn't opened it yet.

My favorite Christmas joke: Why do Mexicans have tamale making parties on Christmas Eve?

So the kids have something to unwrap on Christmas morning.

A terrorist walks into a Christmas party

Just kidding.
He drove.

Mall Santa

A Mall Santa is asking kids what they want for Christmas.

A little girl says, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa replies, "Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?"

"No silly. Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She's only faking it with Ken."

I got my kid a puppy for Christmas but it died.

Now all I have is this puppy.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kids christmas trick treating jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kids christmas presents piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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