The Best 22 Kidnapper Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kidnapper jokes. There are some kidnapper ransom jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kidnapper abduction puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kidnapper Jokes and Puns

Kidnapper: [on phone] we have your son.

Kidnapper: [on phone] we have your son.

Wife: actually I'm holding my son.

Kidnapper: [getting frustrated] then who the heck just asked for chocolate milk with a straw and made us cut the crust off his PB&J?

Wife: oh god.

Kidnapper: what?

Wife. you have my husband.

What are a kidnappers favorite type of shoes?

White Vans.

A woman gets a call from kidnappers.

"We have your son," said the kidnapper.

"I don't have a son," says the woman.

"Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crust off his sandwiches?"

"Oh, God you have my husband!"

Kidnapper joke, A woman gets a call from kidnappers.

If I tell people about my mancave I'm a "bro"...

But if I talk about my womancave I'm a "kidnapper".

I just watched a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered and his son is left physically disabled...

...Then in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.

Finding Nemo is a real thriller!


Movies

Friend 1: I just watched a film in which a man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and has to chase thr kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.

Friend 2 : Uhhh....what was it called?

Friend 1: Finding Nemo

How do you stop a kidnapper from putting you in the back of a van?

Just call shotgun, now you've got the window seat.

Kidnapper joke, How do you stop a kidnapper from putting you in the back of a van?

What did the comedian turned kidnapper say to his hostages?

It's nice to have a captive audience.

What do you call a machine that makes kids fall asleep?

A kidnapper

A man broke into a convent one day, intent on kidnapping a nun.

Bursting through the door, he swept the first nun he saw off her feet and threw her over his shoulder. Police arrive on the scene just as the kidnapper escaped through the front door.

The first cop shouted What the hell, man as the kidnapper fled on foot, nun over his shoulder.

No offense, the kidnapper responded as he ran away.

Nun taken! the officer reported into his radio.

Kidnapper called my boss after kidnapping his mother in-law..

And said - If you fail to deliver the money, we will release her.

You can explore kidnapper captors reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kidnapper hijacker dad jokes. There are also kidnapper puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How did the kidnappers get away?

They just ransomware.

Have you heard about the kidnapper?

He's really got away with kids.

A kidnapper and his victim are walking into a dark forest together

Kidnapper says "I don't know what your crying for I'm the one who has to walk back on my own"

What is something that a divorce lawyer and a kidnapper can both say

You give me the money and I'll give you the kids

My kidnapper says i have got Stockholm Syndrome

My kidnapper says i have got Stockholm Syndrome.
I don't know why he say would something like that.But i love him anyway.

Kidnapper joke, My kidnapper says i have got Stockholm Syndrome

The phone rang, and the kidnapper says I have your wife.

Now, pay be $1 million or I'll give her back to you.

How was Shirley Temple's kidnapper able to get so much ransom money from her father?

He had him by the short and curlies.

What's a kidnappers most favourite pickup line?

Hey, does this piece of cloth smell funny to you?


I'm a serial kidnapper

That's why they love me at kindergarten

Why wasn't the police surprised when he saw a kidnapper kidnapping a kid and running away?

Because it was a running gag.

What does a pick-up artist have in common with a kidnapper?

They both want to get you in the sack!

.......I'll see myself out now

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kidnapper abduct jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kidnapper disappearance piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes