The Best 35 Kid School Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kid School jokes. There are some kid school boarding school jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kid school highschool puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kid School Jokes and Puns

Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word...

...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.

I dont believe in hitting my children as punishment

So i send them to school wearing crocs and anime shirts and let other kids beat them instead

I saw two kids fighting on the elementary school playground and being the only adult around, I had to step in...

Little bastards didn't stand a chance…

The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies."

I said, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids


Hey girl are you a school?

Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

In high school some kids told me they'd give me $20 to hang out with them.

Turns out it was just clique bait.

Kid going to his first day of school, he looks worried, his dad asks him "What's wrong?"

Nervous, the kid asks, "How long do I have to go to school for?"

"Until you're 18" says the father.

The kid nods, and thinks about this quietly.

=== =====

When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says "Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I'm 18, won't you?"

A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

The teacher says, "What's this?"

The kid says, "A picture of a cow eating grass."

The teacher asks, "Where's the grass?"

The kid says, "The cow ate it all."

"Ok, then where's the cow?"

"It left because there was no more grass."

The little black jewish boy...

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black? The dad replies, Why do you want to know, son? Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!

The kid that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

You can explore kid school junior high reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kid school high school dad jokes. There are also kid school puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school?

Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.

When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'.

I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked "Does anyone know any French?"

Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD

Its a concentration camp

a guy picking up his kids at school sees another kid and says loudly "god, what an ugly kid!"

The person standing next to him says "he's my son..."

The guy, pretty embarassed, replies "oh man, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were his father"

"I'm his mom..."

A Jewish Black kid walks up to his dad and asks if he is more Black than Jewish.

"Why son?" The dad asks.
"Because there is a kid at school selling his bike for $50 and I was wondering if I should talk him down to $30 or just steal it."

I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said "Watch for Children."

I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.

Every year, hundreds of kids are shipped off to mime school...

...never to be heard from again.

I was tucking my son in last night, and he tells me that his teacher is "an idiot" and she's "out to get him."

Which is just the last thing you want to hear when your kid's home schooled.


i told my kids that at their age i had to watch VHS tapes on school safety

and they said: "what's school safety?"

Just saw two elementary school kids in a fistfight...

So as an adult, I had to step in.

They didn't stand a chance.

In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word contagious . Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.

- Susan?

- I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!

- Very good. What about you, Johnny?

- Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious!

Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school ?

Or am I just a terrible Teacher ?

Are you a school?

Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you

Sex education

Dave's wife said to him, "If our kids are old enough to ask a question about sex, then they are old enough to be told a truthful answer."
Just then his son came home from school and asked him what a blow job was.
"Son," said Dave, "I can't remember."

Waking up on a Monday morning...

On a Monday morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up son. It's time to got to school!"
"But mom, I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why."
"Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers hate me too!"
"That's no reason. Come now get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go?"
"Well for one you are 52 years old. And for another, you're the principal!".

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."Β 
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."Β 
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"Β 
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."Β 
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."Β 
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

Nearly 200 million Chinese kids are back to school after COVID-19 crisis

Unemployment strikes again

Why don't kids play fortnite in school?

It's hard to make out where the gunshots are actually coming from

A kid gets home very distressed.....

And says "mom everyone at school says that im always distracted"

"FOR THE LAST TIME KID, YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR!!!!"

Yesterday I saw some kid getting ganged up behind the school by 4 other kids.

As a senior, I have experienced bullying myself so I immediately jump in.

That kid got no chance against 4 of us.

First Day At School

The child comes home from his first day at school.

His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

As a former high schooler I'm glad online classes are becoming the norm. I remember having to witness teachers having sex with kids, meth being done in the bathrooms, and living with the fear of school shootings.

Being home schooled in Mississippi was rough.

Just heard this on the radio. May the censors have mercy on their soul. [NSFW]

On a Sunday school, the teacher asks the class: "Class, what body party goes to heaven first?"

One kid answers, "It's the feet!"

"Why is it the feet?" the confused teacher asks.

The kid replies, "Because last night I found Mommy with her feet in the air screaming 'Oh God yes...heaven...I'm coming!' "

An elephant is standing on a street corner with an erection.

His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground.

At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says "Mommy what is that?"

Mom: "Oh that's the trunk honey"
Kid: "No mom, further back between the legs"
Mom: "Oh that? That's nothing...." and awkwardly changes the subject.

The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner only this time the dad is taking the kid to school.

Kid: "Hey dad, what is that? It's not the the trunk and it's not the legs, it's in between the legs. Mommy says that's nothing."

The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, "Yeah well, mommy is spoiled."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kid school bullied jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kid school kids piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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