Kid Rock Jokes
34 kid rock jokes and hilarious kid rock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kid rock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kid Rock Short Jokes
Short kid rock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kid rock humour may include short rock star jokes also.
- Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination . This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.
- Did you hear about Kid Rock updating his sound? He's changing his name to Adult Contemporary
- A large chunk of ice walks into a bar and places his order. I'll take a whiskey on the rocks."
The bartender looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't serve your kids." - Girls used to chase me all the time when I was a kid that was after i threw rocks at them though.
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Kid Rock One Liners
Which kid rock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kid rock? I can suggest the ones about kids music and band kid.
- If you apply enough heat and pressure to Kid Rock... he turns into Neil Diamond.
- Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, and sarah palin walk into the White House... No, really. They did.
- Imagining Kid Rock's nemesis Li'l Paper Scissors
- Kids! Don't buy drugs. Become a rock star, they'll give 'em to you for free!
- What do you call a punk rock kid without a girlfriend? Homeless.
- Which of Holden Caulfield's dorm neighbors became a rapper? Ackley Kid Rock
- Why can't Kid Rock be a senator? Only God Knows Why
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Kid Rock Jokes
What funny jokes about kid rock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scene kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kid rock pranks.
A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.
"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.
"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.
"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poor Ajmal.
After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".
A dying kid makes a wish to meet Dwayne Johnson
Dwayne sits at the side of the hospital bed and asks the kid if he was a fan of wrestling.
The kid says yeah, and that he knows his only weakness.
Dwayne looks puzzled, and asks what it is.
"Come closer" says the kid.
Dwayne leans in, and the kid shows him his open palm. Dwayne looks confused, and the next second the kid slaps him full power across the face.
"Paper beats rock."
MOM: "No more TV until you finish your math homework!"
KID: "Aww, Mom! When am I ever gonna use math in real life? I'm gonna grow up to be a super rich rock star...I'll pay people to do math \*for\* me."
MOM: "Well, why didn't you say so? That's a wonderful goal! And I know exactly how to help you pursue it."
THE NEXT DAY
MOM: "No more TV until you finish your guitar practice!"
KID: "Aww, Mom!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To a geologist, what's the difference between rocks and a kid?
If you date a kid, you get sent to jail
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Falling rock
Waay back in the day the Indians had a child named Falling Rock, lovely kid. As soon as the white man came to their land Falling Rock disappeared. They couldn't find him anywhere, still even to this day we have signs on the road that say "watch for falling rock"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every Friday Mrs. Jones ask the class a question.
The kid that answers correctly gets to leave class early.
Timmy has never been that kid. But this Friday he decided it was his turn. Friday comes around and Timmy is ready. The class sits down and is listening for the question. Timmy pulls some marbles out and rolls them across the floor. The teacher turns around and says to the class.
"Alright kids, who's the comedian with the black b**...?"
Timmy yells, "Chris Rock, See ya Monday Teach!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They ask a kid what he wants to do when he grows up...
...
He says "I want to be a surgeon assistant, because when the surgeon says scissors, I'd say rock, so I beat him.
One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred.
She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock.
After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder.
So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chris Rock, The Rock, and Kid Rock walk into a m**... dispensary
*something about being s**...*
I tried.
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram.
However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim.
She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men are walking through the woods
They hear some noise of some birds overhead. They point their guns in the air and take aim. One of the men takes a few steps forward to get a better view of the birds. He trips over a log and hits his head on a rock and immediately falls unconscious. The other man dials 9-1-1.
"9-1-1 what's your emergency"
"My friend...I think he's dead"
"Well why don't you make sure he's dead"
*\*Operator hears a bang\**
"I'm pretty sure he's dead now"
\--
Heard this as a kid-thought it was hilarious.
The four kids....
The four kids sat on four different chairs in front of the principal looking rather sad.
Why did you get sent here? asked the principal to the boy sitting far right.
I threw rock into the water.
Okey, that's a weird reason for your teacher to send you here responded the principal as he turned his head towards the second boy what about you?
I also threw rock into the water. answered the second boy.
The principal looked surprised and turned towards the third boy, whom also said that he threw rock into the water.
Finally the principal faced towards the last and fourth boy.
Let me guess, you also got sent here for throwing a rock?
No said the fourth boy I am Rock
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man decided to go skinny dipping
He found a secluded pond in the woods and went for a n**... swim. Some kids happened by and decided to steal his clothes as a joke and only left his straw hat. When the man finally noticed his clothes were missing, he grabbed his hat, covered the family jewels, and made a run for home. On the way he passed a house with an old woman in a rocking chair on the porch. When she noticed what was happening she burst into laughter. The man stopped and said, "Madam, if you were a lady you would not be laughing." Once the woman could control her laughter, she replied, "If you were a gentleman, you would tip your hat!"
A guy gets a call his wife is in labor...
He rushes off to the hospital, but gets stuck in traffic. By the time he gets to the hospital his wife has already had the baby. So he heads down to the nursery to see his new baby. He sees his child sleeping and a nurse walks up and ask, " is this your baby?" The nurse picks up the baby and holds the child up to the father and gently rocks him, the dad is in awe... she takes the baby and throws it against the wall. The dad freaks out and starts screaming and the nurse tells him to calm down...
" I was kidding, it was a still born."
My favorite joke since I was a kid
Two guys are walking down the side of the road in a rural area somewhere. All of a sudden, in the middle of the road, a huge hole appears. Curious, the two men peer down inside to see how deep it goes, but can't see the bottom. One saunters to the side of the road to find a pebble, throws it in, and listens; they don't hear it hit bottom. The other goes to the side to find a larger rock, throws it in, and listens; they still don't hear it hit bottom. They look at each other, and go find a log off to the side of the road, roll it in, and wait for it to hit bottom. All of a sudden, a goat runs out of the woods at high speed, and jumps down the hole. They look at each other quizzically, shrug, and keep walking. A few minutes later, an exasperated farmer steps onto the road out of the brush. He looks at the men and asks "Have either of you seen a goat around here?" The men look at the farmer and say "Yes, actually. A goat came out of the woods back there and jumped into this giant hole." The farmer replies "That couldn't have been my goat; my goat was tied to a log."