Kid Named Jokes
144 kid named jokes and hilarious kid named puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kid named that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Kid Named Short Jokes
Short kid named jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kid named humour may include short baby name jokes also.
- My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after star wars characters... My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
- George Foreman named all his kids George Foreman. He even used the name when he had a little grill.
- Instead of Drew, I'm going to name my kid Driew. Now I know what you're thinking, but it's only Weird if you say it backwards.
- When I was a kid my English teacher looked my way and said, "name two pronouns." I said, " who, me?"
- <
> Apple has decided to cancel the children's iPod. Apparently iTouch kids isn't a good product name. - Boy: My mother's name is Laughing and my father's name is Smiling. Teacher: You must be Kidding.
Boy: No, that's my sister's name, I'm Joking. - To what would you change the name of a kid named hunter if he becomes a vegetarian? ….Gatherer
- I'm going to name my kids after what their mother was craving while pregnant... Peanuts and Pickles are great. tequila is kind of an idiot
- I want to adopt two kids... ... with cancer, both named Jordan.
I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans. - Fiddy Cent just had a kid. They named him after his father but adjusted for inflation. They call him Buck Fiddy.
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Kid Named One Liners
Which kid named one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kid named? I can suggest the ones about young kid and friendly kid.
- I named my kid Bob Ross He was a happy little accident.
- If Hermione was a mathematician what would her kids be named? Hermitwo and Hermithree.
- What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs? Names.
- Lots of people use their kid's name as their password I love my son mHh$5rY%9a@#JJ5
- How does a lawyer name their kids? Bill and Sue
- I named my kid cancer... Now I can say i beat cancer
- I bet if Leornardo DiCaprio has a kid... he names it Oscar so he can finally have one.
- I have two kids, five and seven Silly names I know.
- Why would anyone ever name their kid "Sean"? It's just wreang.
- I knew a couple who named thier kid illidan stormrage All i could think was: "Wow.."
- Kim and Kanye's kid launched a new perfume in her own name. North—by North West.
- There's a kid in class with adhd named Link. Guess he's a hyperlink.
- A jeweler and blacksmith gets married. What do they name their kid? Jaden Smith
- I'm gonna 1 up Elon Musk and name my kid 58008
- What do you call a kid with an eye patch, braces and a lisp? Names
Kid Named Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about kid named you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baby boy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kid named pranks.
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue.
Q: And his son?
A: Bill.
No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?
You gotta feel for kids today, growing up in a world where all the good screen names are already taken.
3 little kids, Leafy, Rainy and Bricky.
They were asking their mother about their names.
Leafy asked:
— Mama, why is my name Leafy?
The Mother answered:
— Cause when you were born a Leaf fell on your head
Then Rainy asked:
— Mama, why is my name Rainy?
— Because when your were born, the water from the rain fell on your head
Then Bricky Asked:
SANMAM,,, EHYWY DISIIS HJHHTMHMGM AMENMA BFIJCKCY¿
A father wanted to name his kids with 'Ger' in their names. In succession, the first child was name Gerald, the next was named Geraldine. The father then had triplets.
That was Germany.
So there's this classroom full of students in china...
...and this kid named meng was making fun of the teacher. The teacher walks up to him and yells; now listen you... All of a sudden the kid next to him says, but meng did it not me.
I want to create a Disney channel sitcom about an irreverent Chinese kid...
and name it "That's so Wong!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a fat kid with 3 teeth and a lazy eye?
Names.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jim and his s**... life...
A man named Jim has been married to his beautiful wife for 15 years. They have two wonderful kids, a dog and a nice home.
You see, Jim works really hard at his job, but lately his s**... life has suffered because of it.
Jim goes to his doctor to ask why he is so tired all the time.
Jim says to his doc "you know, I work 16 hour days and when I come home I just have no time to be intimate with my wife. I have no energy! What do I do!"
His doctor replies "Okay Jim I can see you're a little bit overweight so maybe you need some exercise to increase that stamina. Every day for 30 days I want you to walk a mile. I'll phone you after 30 days"
So Jim starts walking that day. He walks one mile every day, hoping this will help.
On the 30th day his doctor phones.
Doc: "Jim! Did you do what I told you?"
Jim: "Yeah I did doc."
Doc: "Well how's your s**... life? Did it improve?"
Jim: "I wouldn't know. I'm 30 miles from home!"
Told to me by my grandmother
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a child is walking with a stick
when another kid walks up to him and start picking on him. "your stick is s**... and you're ugly!". the child shrugs his shoulders and asks "you know how they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?". "yeah, so what?" responds the kid. the child flashes a grin, looks the kid straight in the eyes and whispers "my sticks name is beauty"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Falling rock
Waay back in the day the Indians had a child named Falling Rock, lovely kid. As soon as the white man came to their land Falling Rock disappeared. They couldn't find him anywhere, still even to this day we have signs on the road that say "watch for falling rock"
Fatherhood
A soldier asks his sergeant if he can have a couple of days off because he's going to become a father. 'Very well, you can have three days off' the sergeant says. After three days the soldier is back and the sergeant asks him what the name of the kid is. 'No idea' the soldier responds 'but I will tell you in nine months'.
How Kids Got Their Names
3 Kids are taking about how they got their names, and why their parents named as such.
The first one, a girl named "Rose" says "I was named Rose, because when I was born my parents dropped rose pedals on me."
The second one, a boy named "Ash" says "I was named Ash, because wedge I was born my parents dropped ashes on me."
The third one, a boy named "Brick" says "AHHHUUUUAUUAUUAAAA HUUAAA HURRRR"
A kid goes to church to confess...
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
I think it's kinda funny people named their kids after US states…
Y'know, names like Carolina, Georgia, Dakota, Virginia, etc. When I have a kid, I'm gonna name him Michigan, just in case some guy named Mitch reincarnates into him.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To push Jake off a cliff.... he really hates Jake.
as told by my 6 year old who hates a kid named Jake.
I saw two black kids spraying their names on a wall today.
I decided to join them. I'd only sprayed the first three letters of my name when they started to beat me up.
Maybe they don't like people called Nigel.
There once was a woman who had 100 children....
She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation.
One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There were three unruly kids in detention
Their names were Zip, w**... and Pee. The teacher briefly left the room and the three kids saw this as an opportunity to have some fun. Zip jumped up onto a table and started dancing. w**... went into the teachers cupboard and Pee started running around.
The teacher shortly came back, saw the chaos and said:
'Zip down, w**... out, Pee in the corner!'
In a short-sighted rushed effort to reboot the iTouch product Apple decided to market it to schools. Apple named their new product iTouch Kids. It didn't go over well...
It did great in the 12-25 prison stint group though.
Peter is different
A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".
A kid asks his mother about his cousins...
"Mommy, why is my cousin named Rose?"
The mother replied, "Because your aunt loves roses."
The boy replies, "What about my other cousin, Daisy?"
"Your aunt also loved daisies." The mother added calmly.
"So why is my name-"
The mother interjects, "Be quiet and eat your dinner, Dickie!"
The teacher told the kids: name a few things that you can put in your mouth.
Kids: Apple, chocolate, cookie, lamp
Who said that last one?
Johhny stood up and said: it was me.
Why do you think you can put a lamp in your mouth? the teacher asked.
Because last night, after I went to sleep I heard my dad tell my mom to turn off the lamp so he can put it in her mouth.
There was this one lady, she named all her kids Leeroy. Another woman at the park asked her why. She said cause when I want them to do something I just say "Leeroy you better clean this up" or "Leeroy come to dinner" and they all do it. But what if one is in trouble the woman asked?
Why, then, I just use his last name.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother has 3 kids
A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"
Apple wanted to make a smaller ipod just for kids...
But they decided that Itouch Kids wouldn't be an appropriate name.
A trip to Wales.
A couple are driving through Wales late one night and they pass through Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwilllantysiliogogogoch. With nothing much else to do , they start arguing over the pronunciation. Eventually they decide to stop somewhere and ask a local. They pull up somewhere and go inside, and ask the staff member "excuse me, could you pronounce the name of this place, really slowly?"
The kid behind the counter gives them a confused look, and says "burr-gurr kiiiiing"
A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out.
A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out. Whenever In was in, Out was out. And whenever In was out, Out was in.
One day Out was in but she couldn't find In anywhere. She looked everywhere for In; up, down, left, right, but she could not find In. Finally she asked Out to find In, and Out went right to where In was hiding. When the mother skunk asked Out how he knew where to find In, he replied
"Easy. Instinct."
Two men were lost in the desert...
When they come across a road, and a headstone.
"Look here!" the first man, Frank, said," Some guy's been buried here. Poor sod, he was only 15."
"Who was he?" Inquired the second man, Fred.
"Some kid named Miles from Bakersfield," answered Fred.
Teacher to a 4 Year old kid: What's your Mom's name?
Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time....
Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then?
Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I named my kids after the place they were conceived
Although I'm almost 100 percent sure i**... isn't mine.
OC- A boy named Ted Dopp goes up to his parents.
"Mom? Dad?" he asks. "Some of the kids at school said I look different from you. Are you my real parents?"
His parents smile and say, "You are a Dopp, Ted."
Ted cries.
Whenever someone goes to the bathroom, my dad says, "Mention my name, you'll get a good seat."
Just kidding. I never knew my dad.
A blind kid named Stevie just changed schools...
And he was thinking about his old friends. Since he was blind, he never got to look at his friend, James, and he randomly thought, "Was James brown?"
After a little while, he realised he left before his friend, Marvin, came out and so he thought "Was Marvin gay?"
Needles to say, these questions really made Stevie wonder.
Trump got a sandwich named after him at his favorite deli.
Commander in Cheese Meltdown.
They put it on the kid's menu.
Son: Dad, why is my sister's name Florence?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Florence, Italy.
Son: I guess that's a nice way of naming your kids.
Dad: Yeah, Backseat, it is.
Kid: why is my cousin named Diamond?
Mother: because your auntie really loves diamonds
Kid: well what about my name?
Mother: never mind about that Richard.
A man and his wife were thinking of a code name for when, when they're around their kids.
The husband says, "let's call it laundry."
His wife replies, "why laundry?"
Husband says, "Because if it's a small load. I can do it by hand."
Teacher: What are your parents' names?
Boy: My dad's name is laughing and my mum's name is smiling.
Teacher: You must be kidding!
Boy: Nope, I am joking.
a joke my teacher made in class
teacher:"(generic kid name) this is the forth time i have warned you!"
kid:"did you count how many times you warned me?"
teacher:"no, i just pick a random number and it sounds logical"
this was funnier in class and in Hebrew, i don't expect it to do good here.
When I was a kid I used to name my dog, "Dad"
Because he used to run away all the time
Cr
Did you hear about Kid Rock updating his sound?
He's changing his name to Adult Contemporary
A Girl Named Texas
A girl named Texas lived with her brother Austin. The two had a father whose favorite knife of his was always left on the counter of his room. One day, Austin, being the little kid he is, grabs the knife and accidentally stabs Texas. The dad comes home from work a few hours later and sees his favorite knife missing. He then asks Austin who was alone with Texas,
"Austin, have you seen my knife"
Austin Replies
"It's Deep In The Heart of Texas"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Never give your kids s**... names.
You might think it's funny but they have to live with that for the rest of their lives. Take Kanye West for example. His kids, North and Saint . They've got to spend their whole lives telling people that their dad is called Kanye .
Stay neglectful my friends
I adopted 3 kids recently and named them after my favorite beers; Bud Light, Miller Light, and Dos Equis. I work long days and am occasionally allowed to bring one child with me to the office. When faced with the decision of which child to take with me to work I always pick Dos Equis, because I don't always watch my kids but when I do I prefer Dos Equis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three kids are in a park with their father
The first child approaches the father and asks,
"Dad, why am I named Dandy?"
Father responds,
"Because a dandelion fell on your head when you were born."
Second kid comes up and asks
"Dad, why am I named Rose?"
Dad responds,
"Because a rose fell on your head when you were born."
Third kid runs up screaming,
"HRJSOAOSBRBRJFIDISOSBBPPPBFFFSSSS"
Dad gets up and shouts at the third one, causing a scene,
"SHUT UP BRICK!"
A woman from the ghetto is in the grocery store with a whole crew of kids...
She yells out, "Billy!" and nine boys come running and line up by the door.
A passer-by laughs to himself and asks, "Did you name all your sons Billy?"
"Yup. Makes calling them for dinner a lot easier."
"What happens when you only need to talk to one of them?"
"Then I just call them by their last name."
Early finish for me today so I rang the wife
and asked her if I should pick up fish and chips on the way home. She clearly still regrets letting me name the kids....
Life Hack: give your next kid a normal name
Me: are you still mad your mom and I named you Life Hack?
A kid asked his mother why his sister was named rose.
His mother replied to him, explaining that roses were her favorite color.
He then asked her the same question in regards to his own name.
"You'll get it when you're older, Richard," she responded.
E: I know I said color instead of flower, but I am leaving it.
Having more kids is like making movie sequels
They require a bigger budget, have a worse plot, and get progressively more difficult to name.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Post Malone may be a popular rapper, but have you heard of his long-lost cousin h**... Malone?
His most popular track is about some kid named Kevin who has to fight off burglars in his house.
My kid was boarding the wrong flight when he asked me, "What's another name for onboard luggage?"
I said, "Carry-on, my wayward son."
Why do so many black people name their kids Monica..?
You always hear them: * Whatup Monica? *
There were 3 siblings...
The first kid, Rose, comes to their mom:
Mommy, why my name is Rose?
Mom: Because when you were born, a little rose landed in your forehead...
The second one, Plumy:
And why my name is Plumy, mommy?
Mom: Because when you were born a lil plume landed in your forehead...
Then comes Bricky:
AAAHHNSBALDU BRADUBLA BRUBDULO AHUE?
Kylie Jenner just named her newborn baby daughter Stormi
I think the Kardashian family is trying to have a weather forecast for her kids, because it's going to be Stormi in North West Chicago with a chance of Reign.
Kennedy, Lennon, Gandhi
If you don't want you kids assassinated, don't name them after an airport.
Nick Offerman has to be careful about his kids name.
He could give them an unfortunate job like Jack Offerman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My kids were hungry so I made them burgers from scratch.
They got really upset and started to cry.
Scratch is a s**... name for a cat anyway..
I want to name my son Orange.
That way, the other kids at school won't know how to make fun of him.
Three women were at a shrink's office with their kids
The shrink told the first woman, You love food so you named your child Candy. He told the second, You love money so you named your child Penny. The third woman told her son, This is ridiculous. Let's get out of here, Peter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was chopping up onions and my kids started to cry.
Onions is a s**... name for a dog anyway.
I want to name all my kids What
So I just scream What and they all yell What and everyone's yelling What .
I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?
Smiling, I replied, Tiny!"
My kid laughed and asked, What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?
I explained, Because...he's my newt!"
A new boy has just enrolled at school and the teacher remarked on his unusual name, Aday.
I've never heard that name before, she said
My father thought of it, said the boy.
I was the 10th kid in our family, and when I was born, Dad said: 'For cryin' our loud, let's call it a day!'