The Best 33 Kid Food Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kid Food jokes. There are some kid food eat jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kid food pizza dough puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kid Food Jokes and Puns

Four kids walk into an interview...

Four kids walk into an interview. One is American, one is British, one is African, and one is Chinese. The interviewer asks them all the same question: "In your own opinion, what do you think of the scarcity of food in other countries?" The British kid asks "What is scarcity?" The American kid asks "What are other countries?" The African kid asks "What is food?" And the Chinese kid asks "What is my own opinion?"

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.

The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.

The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.

The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship.

The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids. The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof. The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque. The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptized them, confirmed them, and now they only come around on Christmas and Easter.

A jealous woman, while on a road trip with her friends, would call her husband everyday to check on him.

Her: Where are you?

Him: At home hun.

Her: Don't trust you. Can you run the food processor for me so I know you are home?

Him: Sure Hun .

Whirrrrrrrrrr

Him: There you go.

Her: Ok. Talk to you later...

This went on for a few days. She would call him and ask him to run the food processor, which he would do.

One day she called her children and asked : Where is dad?

Kid: No idea. He leaves early in the morning and comes back late in the night.
But he takes the food processor along wherever he goes.

I have a kid in Africa...

I have a kid in Africa and for only 37 cents a day he has a place to live, plenty of food, and all his shots.

The expensive part was flying him there.


An International School Teacher

...starts a lesson with her 4 students, who are an American kid, an African kid, a European kid and a Chinese kid. She asks "what's your opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
first, the African kid asks "what's food?"
the European kid asks "what's scarcity?"
the American kid asks "what's other countries?"
and finally the Chinese kid asks "what's my own opinion?"

A guy wants a dog

A guy wants a dog. He goes to one of his relatives if he has an extra dog. The relative says yes.
"Does he like kids?"said the guy
"Yes he does, but you can just give him dog food"

Saw a kid riding a bike that looked the same as mine in my neighborhood

I freaked out and went to my garage. Luckily he was still there; chained up and begging for food.

Just saw a kid riding a bike

Thought it was mine, I checked the garage and it's still there, locked up, safe and sound, begging for food.

I'm at the bar right now (getting food I'm not an alcoholic I promise) and…

There's these two guys are arguing and one asked Jerry, howcome you got so many grandkids and I don't?

And he answers, I taught my kids how to multiply

I fuckin' lost it

A teacher at an international school...

asks her class what their opinion is on giving food to people in other countries.
The Jewish kid asks "What is giving?"
The African kid asks "What is food?"
The Chinese kid asks "What is my opinion?"
And the American kid asks "What are other countries?"

You can explore kid food meals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kid food needy dad jokes. There are also kid food puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three women were at a shrink's office with their kids

The shrink told the first woman, You love food so you named your child Candy. He told the second, You love money so you named your child Penny. The third woman told her son, This is ridiculous. Let's get out of here, Peter.

As a kid growing up I'd always get bullied, every morning they'd spit in my food and call me names.

Man, I hated being home schooled.

Today I saw a kid riding a bike and thought it was mine

Then I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food

UN sent a survey to children from different country: " Regarding the problem of food shortage in other countries, what's your opinion?" Surprisingly no kids understand the question.

American kids: "what's other countries ...?"
European kids: "what's shortage ...?"
Africa kids: "what's food ...?"
Chinese kids: "what's my opinion ...?"

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Their kids haven't .

A kid walks into a grocery store

Looks at the cashier with intimidating eyes "Give me this food free of charge or I'll do what my father did"

Fearful for his apparent resolve the cashier lets him leave uncharged.

2nd day the kid back says the same thing, the cashier feels obliged to answer his request.

This goes on for a week and then the cashier asks "What did your father do?"

The kid replies "He went to sleep hungry"

2 little kids, Billy and Tom, are goofing around in a cannibal village. Billys mum sticks her head out and yells...

"Billy, stop playing with your food!"

When I was younger I used to think I was a God.

Most parents give their kids food, mine gave me burnt offerings.


To teach my kids about capitalism...

...I made them pay for housing, food, and charged them to use the bathroom.

Then if they wanted to make any money, I had them compete against each other for who could do chores for the least amount of money.

Then when they unionised, I had the neighbour's kid do chores instead and gave them nothing.

You know, I'm really glad Ben Carson didn't end up being Secretary of Education.

I really didn't want our kids learning that the food pyramid was built to store grain.

Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid?

He was told not to play with his food.

I had a customer tonight with allergies [true story]

Rude Customer: Can you just make sure there's no nuts in my food? I can't eat nuts.
Me: Sure! My sister Anna can't eat nuts either. You might know her?
Customer: Oh?
Me: Anna-phallactic?
Customer: Oh.
Me: Just kidding, I don't have a sister.
Customer: Oh?
Me: She died. She ate some nuts and died.

Another dad joke

Dad: "What's the difference between seafood and pea soup?"

Kid: "Please... please don't."

Dad: "I can see food but I can't pee soup."

Today my culinary teacher challenged us to make a food pun

She's going to have a rutebega'ning when we tell her challenging kids isn't kosher.

Got into a food fight at a kfc in japan.

Now they call me the karaage kid

As a kid growing up in the Vietnam I could always tell how well the economy was by what type of dog food my parents bought.

Chihuahua when it was bad, Black lab when it was good.

I wanted to teach my kids about American democracy, so I let them choose what food to have dinner.

They chose pizza, but I gave them tacos since they didn't live in a swing state.

Three boys were discussing their fathers' favorite foods.

The first kid said his father loves to eat burgers. The second boy said his father loves KFC. The third boy said his father loves to eat light. The other two boys questioned how his father does that. The third boy replied, "Every night I hear my daddy tell mommy to turn off the light so he can eat it."

We spend so much money feeding other countries but...

We never do anything for the impatient American kid who has plenty of food at home, but doesn't feel like eating anything he has.

Donald Trump is threatening to destroy my family business. I don't know how to tell my kids.

How is a wetlands tour guide supposed to put food on his table now?

I wonder if poor kids in Africa dream of a white christmas?

Like spending time with your whole family, getting tons of Xboxes and play stations. Heaping servings of food, etc.

What was lil pumps favorite food as a kid?

Essketti.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kid food snack jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kid food dirt cookies piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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