JokoJokes

Kicks Jokes

103 kicks jokes and hilarious kicks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kicks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Forget the anger and the grabs and instead bring the laughter with the best kicks jokes around. From the pumped up kicks of Nissan to the squarely placed puns, get ready to kick back and enjoy the ride.

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Funniest Kicks Short Jokes

Short kicks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kicks humour may include short kicking jokes also.

  1. My grandfather warned people that the titanic would sink No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre
  2. My wife has kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Scharzenegger impressions. But don't worry I'll return.
  3. Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.
  4. I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row… They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…
  5. My wife kicked me out of the house for my bad arnold schwarzenegger references, but don't worry... I'll return
  6. My kid and I wrote this together: Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants? Because he took a leek!
    (Please don't kick us out, just lettuce leave)
  7. My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
  8. I was kicked out of the house for my bad impressions of Arnold Schwarzenegger. But that didn't faze me. As I left, I told 'em... "I'll be returning"
  9. I got kicked out of the library today... Apparently putting the feminism books in the sci-fi section was not acceptable.
  10. I went to a disco last night. I went to a disco last night. They played The Twist, I did the Twist. They played Jump, I jumped. They played Come on Eileen...I got kicked out for that one.

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Kicks One Liners

Which kicks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kicks? I can suggest the ones about kicked and knock kick.

  1. What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? You get kicked out of sea world…
  2. A Jake Paul fan walked into a bar and got kicked out for being 10.
  3. What happens when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
  4. Why was the mermaid kicked out of Geometry class? She forgot her Algae-bra.
  5. If I was invisible for a day... I'd kick a mime artist to death.
  6. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin And giraffes were born
  7. What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Kicked out of the petting zoo.
  8. What do you get when you mix human DNA and Gorilla DNA? Kicked out of the zoo.
  9. Why wont Demi Lovato play soccer? She cant seem to kick anything
  10. What do you get if a dinosaur kicks you in the backside? Megasoreass
  11. Was kicked out of Walmart today. When I walked in I saw a "Wet Floor" sign. So I did.
  12. What do you get when you mix human and goat dna? Kicked out of the petting zoo.
  13. I got kicked out of the hospital because I told the Covid patients to stay positive
  14. This joke has no punch line But you might get a kick out of it
  15. Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It tocked too much.

Pumped Up Kicks Jokes

Here is a list of funny pumped up kicks jokes and even better pumped up kicks puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • ultimate goal: go to an american high school and play pumped up kicks over the pa system then i can finally die happy
  • Pumped up kicks Everyone was having a great time at the school art fair until a kid decided to draw a gun.
  • Thank you ladies and gentlemen, that was "Sweet home Alabama" and now... ...Pumped up kicks!!!
Kicks joke, Thank you ladies and gentlemen, that was "Sweet home Alabama" and now...

Happy Kicks Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about kicks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kicking from party jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kicks pranks.

Dead Baby Jokes?

A mother who has just given birth waits expectantly for the nurse to return so she can hold her baby. A few minutes pass, and the nurse enters with the baby in her hands. The nurse then drops the baby on the ground, stomps on it's head and kicks it out of the window. The mother starts screaming 'My baby, my baby!!'
The nurse looks at the lady and says 'April Fools! He was already dead!'

I was a professional boxer.

Then I picked up Muay Thai just for kicks.

How do you call it when a girl kicks a boy in the groin during the first date?

p**... emasculation.

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician

An engineer wakes up one night and sees a fire in his wastebasket. Panicking, he leaps out of bed in only his robe and slippers, kicks over the wastebasket, and stomps out the flames, spreading ash and cinders all over his bedroom.
A physicist wakes up one night and sees a fire in his wastebasket. A bit startled, he hurries to the kitchen and returns with a large dinner plate. He places the plate over the wastebasket and waits for the fire to extinguish.
A mathematician wakes up one night and sees a fire in his wastebasket. Coolly, he sits down at his desk with a pen and paper and scribbles some formulas. He scratches out his work, then lights a cigarette and sits back to consider. Suddenly thoughtful, he looks at the glass of water sitting on his desk. He takes one last drag from his cig, then drops it in the glass and watches it go out. "Aha!" he exclaims, "a solution exists!" and then returns to bed.

The Tribs

There is a land where Jewish people known as the Tribs live.
Now, there is a giant that lives in a big castle over the hill next to the Trib city, and any time the giant sees a Trib, he kicks it and sends the Trib flying across the land.
The Tribs got fed up with this, so they went to their Rabbi and told him to journey to the giant's castle to get him to stop k**... Tribs.
So the Rabbi journeys to the giants castle, musters up some courage, and knocks on the door.
A few seconds later, the giant answers, and as soon as he does, the Rabbi starts cowering in fear, but the giant just stares at him.
The Rabbi looks up and says, "Well? Aren't you going to kick me?"
To this the giant replies, "Silly Rabbi. Kicks are for Tribs."

String

A piece of string walks into a bar and takes a seat.
The bartender says to the piece of string "We don't serve your kind around here!" and kicks the string out of the bar.
The string gathers his composure, messes his hair up, and ties himself in a knot. He then resumes his seat at the bar.
The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string I just kicked out?"
The string replies "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

A drunkard is walking down the street...

...when a Nun, dressed in her habit, comes towards him from the other direction.
As the Nun is about to pass the drunkard, he steps back, and takes a massive swing at her head, knocking her to the ground.
Not quite done yet, the drunkard lays a couple of kicks into the Nun while she's on the floor, leaving her sobbing in the fetal position.
The drunkard, finally finished with his assault, looks down at her and says,
"Not so tough now, are you Batman!"

What is the difference between a football player and a new p**...?

The football player *kicks* *punts.*

Cliché: A guy is drinking in a bar.

He has quite a few drinks and the bar tender has to cut him off. The guy stumbles out of the bar very drunk. As he stumbling down the street he sees a nun passing by. Just as she is passing him he punches her square in the nose. While she is on the ground, he kicks her in the ribs several times. Then he lifts her above his head and drops her on his knee with a back breaker. He then picks her up and tosses he into a dumpster. He jumps up on the side of the dumpster and yells in, "not so tough tonight are you batman?"

Blonde, brunette, and a red head

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were running from the police. The three women ducked into an old barn on the side of the road. Inside the barn were three empty sacks and they decided to hide in them. In walk the police. They see the three sacks and are immediately suspicious. An officer kicks the sack the brunette is in so she says "Meow!"
"Oh it's just a cat." He says. The cop goes to the red head and kicks the sack shes in. She says "Woof!"
"Oh it's just a dog." So he moves onto the last sack where the blonde is hiding. He walks up and gives it one good kick.
"Potatoes!"

vote up if My favorite snail joke

A old man is eating dinner and he hears a knock on the door. He says "GET AWAY!" he hears another knock. So he finally gets up and goes to the door and sees a snail. The Man then gets angry and kicks him across the street. 3 weeks later the man is eating dinner and hears another knock he goes to the door and the snail is there and says " What was that for?"

Homophonic names

A Jew & a Chinese man are traveling on a train together. After a while, the Jew stands up, and gives the Chinese guy a tremendous slap.
"What are you doing?" says the stricken Chinese.
"That's for Pearl-Harbour" says the Jew.
"But I am Chinese! The Japanese were responsible for that!" says the Chinese.
"Japanese, Chinese--all the same."
They resume their seats. A while passes.
Then the Chinese gets up, and kicks mightily the Jew.
"Hey! what's going on?"
"That's for the Titanic!" says the Chinese.
"But the Titanic was hit by an Iceberg!"
"Iceberg, Weissberg--All the same."

A drunk law undergrad walks into a bar...

...the invigilator kicks him out.

A blond, a redhead and a brunette rob a bank...

The cops are close behind them when they run into a shed. Inside are some empty potato sacks.
"Quick," the brunette says, "hide in there." They all climb into the sacks just as the cops come in.
The cop walks up to the sack with the brunette and kicks it. "Meow!" she says. The cop figures it's a cat and walks on to the sack with the redhead and kicks that one. "Woof, woof!" she says. The cop walks on to the third sack with the blond and kicks it.
"Po-Tay-Toe!" she shouts.

Three fishermen

Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom.
Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth.
"Jeez," he gasps. "Terry sure does have bad breath!"
"Yeah," says Bob. "And where did he get that snowmobile suit?"

A Canadian, an American, and a Pakistani are wandering through the desert

They're wandering along hoping to find some water or a ride out of the vast desert. As they trot along, the Canadian kicks a metal lamp that was buried in the sand. They pick it up and rub it, then out pops a genie.
The genie says, "since there are three men present I will grant you all one wish."
The Canadian quickly replies, " Good sir, if it's not too much trouble, I wish for Canada to thrive forever and always. May our lands be fertile, our hockey teams excellent, and our people even better." The genie nods his head and it is done.
The Pakistani insists on going next. He says, "Oh powerful djinn, I ask that you would surround the entire Muslim world with a wall so high that no western influence, soliders or bombs could corrupt or change our way of life. I pray that the Muslim people would be free to do as they wished forever and ever." The genie nods his head and it is done.
The American says, "fill his wall with water."

So you say that 2 is better then 1?

Not when it comes to kicks in the c**....

Falling Down In Life

So there is this guy whose life is not going very well. He's lost his wife and his job and spends all of his nights in a bar. One night he is strolling home, totally wasted. As he is walking, a non crosses his path on the sidewalk and when they cross, he hits her in the face, really hard. The non goes down to the floor and he gives her a few more punches and kicks. While she is grasping for air, bleeding from her face, he just stands there. Struggling to maintain balance he slurs: 'Not so tough tonight huh Batman...'

Blonde joke I heard a while ago

A red head, brunet, and a blonde were robbing a building. They heard the police and didn't have time to escape so they all hid in in the bag they were carrying. The police officer walks up to the bag with the red head in it and give it a kick and she says, "Meow, meow."The police officer says, "It must be a bag of cats." He then kicks the bag with the brunet in it and she says, "Woof, woof." The police officer says, "It must be a bag of dogs." He walks up to the bag with the blonde in it and gives it a kick and she says, "Potato, potato."

A snail walks into a bar...

A snail walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. But the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here!" So the bartender kicks out the snail. A few weeks later the same snail walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Why did you throw me out?!"

The English and the Scots.

A Englishman and a Scot are walking along the beach when the Englishman kicks over a lamp and a genie appears. He grants them one wish each. The Englishman says "I wish a hundred foot tall and 100 feet wide wall surrounded England, and no-one can get in or out." The genie snaps his fingers and says "It is done." He then turns to the Scot, who says "Fill it with water."

Kanye replaces Zayn in One Direction and kicks everyone out. "There's only one direction," he said. "West."

Kanye joins One Direction as a replacement for Zayn...

He kicks everyone out of the band and says: "If there's only one direction, it's West."

I play soccer...

Just for kicks

Chuck Norris got a new pair of shoes

Roundhouse kicks

why does a boxer have miscarriages....

...because she punch backs whenever the baby kicks

You hear about those robbers who steal shoes for fun?

It's how they get their kicks.

An Asian guy, Hispanic guy, white guy, black guy and their pilot are on a plane...

Suddenly the plane loses control and the pilot says, "If three people jump off, the rest can survive.
The Asian guy goes "This is for my people" and jumps off.
The Hispanic guy goes "This is for my people" and jumps off.
The black guy goes "This is for my people", and kicks the white guy off the plane.

Argon walks into a bar

The bartender kicks him out.
Argon doesn't react.

It's quiet...too quiet...

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner?
She had to buy a duet yourself kit...
*-drops mic-*
*-mike jumps up and promptly kicks hatter in the shin-*

I'm surprised that the UK left the EU by voting.

Most of the time they leave on penalty kicks.

the new United Airlines Olympics commercial is really good

But they forgot the part where Ryan Lochte kicks down the cockpit door and pees all over the flight deck.

The student asked his sensei: "Why do you fight using only your feet?"

Oh, y'know. For kicks.

Local Hero saves lady from Dog

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl! He kicks the dog, it dies!
Newspapers report: "Local Hero saves lady from Dog"
Man says I'm not American
Report changed: "Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"
Man says: Actually I'm Pakistani
Breaking News: "t**... killed Innocent Dog which was playing with a girl"

I don't get football....

At the beginning of the game, they flip a quarter to see who kicks off first. Then the rest of the game everybody just keeps trying to "get the quarter back". I mean, it's just a quarter, what's the big deal!?!

A guy walks up to me and asks "What's Punk?"

So I kick over a garbage can and say "That's punk!" So he kicks over the garbage can and says "That's Punk?" and I say "No that's trendy!"

A piece of string walks into a bar...

And the bartender kicks him out while yelling "I don't serve your kind in here, string!" The string really wanted a drink though, so he bent over and rubbed his head on the ground for a bit. Then he ties himself in a bow and walks back inside. The bartender sees him and immediately starts yelling "Aren't you that same string I just kicked out?!" To which the string replies "No sir, I'm a frayed knot".

Whenever I get high with friends, my anxiety kicks in

I hate rock climbing

Frigid Wife

I have a friend who says his wife is so frigid that when he finally gets her legs spread, the furnace kicks on.

Three burglars are running from the police

They go into a dark alley and hide in three sacks. The police look around and one of them kicks the first sack and the burglar goes "meow", "just cats" he thinks. He then kicks the second one and the the second burglar goes " meow" so the police pass it off as more cats. He then kicks the last sack and the burglar says "potatoes".

Two chemists walk into a bar...

The first chemist says "I'll have some H20"
The second chemist says, "I'll have some H20 as well."
The first chemist kicks himself as his assassination attempt fails.

Two pregnant women are talking about their future babies

"I feel like my girl will be an athlete, she kicks so much in there it's unbelieavable!"
"Oh, I'm sure mine will be a comedian."
"How can you be so sure?"
"You wouldn't get it. It's an inside joke."

A Helium enters to a bar of elements...

The bartender just kicks him out saying he's too noble to be there.
But he didn't react.

A very drunk man walks in to a pub

He tells the bartender "bartender, I want a drink. In fact, give everyone in here a drink on me. You have a drink with us, too." The bartender serves everyone a drink of their choosing and himself then hands the drunk man the bill. The drunk man pats himself down looking for his wallet and says "it appears I've misplaced my wallet." The bartender gets upset, grabs the drunk man by his neck, drags him out back and kicks the ever-lovin-s**... out of the drunk man. A few minutes later the drunk man walks in and says "Bartender, I'm buying another drink for everyone in here. But not you. You get mean when you drink."

An artist lives next to a Marsh.

Twice a week, he goes out and collects the clam shells in the marsh to use in his art. One day, he visits a fellow artist and the two compare their works as usual. Suddenly, a gang of bandits breaks into the house to steal art, but before anyone else could react the first artist launches a furious flurry of kicks and punches that quickly incapacitates all the robbers.
"Incredible!" Goes his friend, "I never realised you were so well trained in combat!"
"Well you should," the first artist replied, "considering you already know I am a marsh shell artist."

Horse race

A man has a racehorse who never won a race.
Man in disgust says," Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning."
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING"
The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."

Three boys are hanging around a farm trying to get a glimpse of the farmer's daughter showering.

The farmer notices them and he grabs his shotgun. They run and hide in the barn, each in one sack. The farmer arrives at the barn, and notices the 3 sacks.
He kicks one. From the sack, a sound comes out: Meow!
"Must be a cat." He moves on.
Kicks the second sack: Woof! Woof!!
"Must be a dog." He moves on.
He kicks the third sack: The sack says: "Potatoes!"

A nun is doing her rounds around town. . .

. . .when she turns the corner near a bar, only to collide with a mean-looking, stumbling drunk. The drunk flies into a rage, and punches her in the face. He then kicks her square in the gut, and begins to brutally pummel her head and face as she doubles over.
Within a minute, she is reduced to a quivering, sobbing mess on the sidewalk. The drunk spits on the nun, and sneers.
"Yeah. . .not so f**...' tough NOW, eh Batman?"

What is a ghosts favorite pair of kicks?

BOOst

I joined a boxing match just for kicks

But apparently that's an i**... move

A blonde, A brunette and a redhead were being chased by a serial killer when they ran and hid in three separate crates...

The serial killer makes his way through the dark barn, spots the three crates and decides to investigate.
He kicks the first crate, and the brunette inside says:"meow!" He thinks to himself "oh it's just a cat in here never mind!" so he moves on to the next crate and kicks that, the redhead inside says:"woof! woof!" So he dismisses the crate and moves on to the final crate where the blonde is hiding. He kicks. The blonde says: "Potatoes!"

I can't take taekwondo seriously..

I just do it for kicks.

a policeman chasing three idiots

He corner them in a farm where they hid in sacks. The policeman sees the sacks and immediately realized they were hiding in them. He gave the first sack a nudge and the idiot goes "quack quack", same with the second sack and the idiot goes "Meow", the last one is silent, the policeman gave the sack another nudge, nothing. He started to doubt himself, so he kicks the sack in a desperate attempt, to which the idiot answered angrily "I'm a f***ing sack of potatoes, what the f*** am I supposed to say ?!"

An english man, an irish man and a scottish man are running away from the police.

An english man, an irish man and a scottish man are running away from the police. They find 3 sacks and hide in them. The police man approaches the sacks and kicks the first one. The English man barks like a dog. The police man kicks the next one and the Scottish man screams like a cat. The policeman kicks the next one and the Irish man says "sack of potatoes".

My friend really enjoys stealing trainers.

That's what he does for kicks.

I joined a Karate class and told the Sensei I wanted to learn how to do roundhouse kicks.

He asked me how flexible I was and I replied I can't train on Wednesday and Fridays.

An elephant is drinking out of a river

An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
"Why did you do that?" Asks a passing giraffe.
"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a n**... out of my trunk 47 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory." Says the giraffe.
"Yes," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

A fireman kicks down the door of a house and carries the family out 1 by 1, but there is no fire. A week later the building catches ablaze.

He suffers from p**... evacuation.

Two blokes outside a clothes shop.

One points at a T-Shirt in the window and says, That's the one I'd get.
And this cyclops comes out and kicks his head in...

I was standing outside an urban footwear shop that was promoting violence.

The sign said: "Kicks for sale!"

I told our baby a joke.

My wife sure got her kicks from it. It was an inside joke.

A man walks into a talent agency with his dog claiming it can talk. The agent says, ok, let's see if this dog is gonna make us rich . The guy says, Fido, what's the top of a house called ? Roof! What's on a tree ? Bark! How does sandpaper feel ? Ruff!

The talent agent tells the man off and kicks him out of his office. As the man and the dog are walking down the street the dog looks up at the man and says, Gee Bob, maybe you should have asked some harder questions .

What fish always wins a fight.

A barracuda. That fish kicks bass

A hunter was shooting birds.

A bird fell in an old man's field. The hunter goes to get the bird but the old man sees him and tells him that since the bird fell on his field, the bird is now his to keep. An argument ensues and the old man says:
"Let us kick each other on the shin and see who can take more, whoever can take more keeps the bird."
The hunter agrees thinking that surely he would be able to take more kicks than the old man.
The old man suggests that he should kick first as he was the older one.
The old man is stronger than he looks and after 5 kicks the hunter gives in and says,
"My turn now"
To which the old man replies,
"I give in, you can take the bird now."

10 underage jokes walk into a bar

They approach the bartender to ask for drinks and he says I'm going to need to see some ID, however, I'm an expert at detecting fake ID's, and if you have one I'm k**... you out. So he checks all 10 of their ID's, which are fake, and kicks all of them out.
Another bartender approaches and says What happened, why did you kick out all of those jokes? To which the original replies I checked to see if they had real ID's, and no pun in ten did.

A policeman is told to write a report at a crime scene.

Policeman: the dead man was found lying on the pawemant......he is lying on the pave.........p a v e
*The policeman kicks the body onto the street*
Policeman: the dead man was found lying on the street.

I'll be at Barnes and Noble signing books

from 7pm EST, until whenever security catches me and kicks me out

Snail joke (oldie but goodie)

A snail walks into a bar, hops up on the bar stool
and orders a Jack & Coke. The bartender says sorry no snails allowed here ....and the bartender kicks out the snail.
2 weeks later the snail finally re-enters the bar again and asks: what the f*c**... did you do that for ?

A very drunk guy starts beating up a nun on the street

He throws kicks, uppercuts, regular punches, even some drunk karate moves.

Once he is exhausted he steps back and says "You disappoint me, Batman"

A drunk man is shouting "twenty five" while

Looking at the open manhole infront of him....
Another man comes seeing the drunk man shouting
"Twenty five" again and again while looking inside the open manhole.he asks why he is doing that...
Drunk man doesn't replies....
He keeps shouting "twenty five" while ignoring what other man says.
Man gets curious whats inside manhole.he leans over to see whats in. But the drunk man kicks him inside the manhole....
Drunk man after that..." Twenty six......"

A snail walks into a bar

The snail sits down on a bar stool and orders a double Jack & Coke. The bartender says, sorry, we have a strict policy on no snails in this bar .... so then the bartender kicks the snail out.
5 days later, the snail comes back in, sits on a bar stool and says to the bartender what the f*c**... did you do that for ?

This guy hears a knock. Opens his door and looks down, and he sees a snail.

Snail says, Hello, sir, I was wondering if -
The guy interrupts the snail and says, Get lost! and kicks the snail across the yard, and goes back inside.
Seven months later, the guy hears a knock. Open his door looks down, and sees the snail.
Snail says:
What the h**... did you do that for?

Jane is on her honeymoon with Tarzan.

He lays stiff in bed awkwardly staring at the roof of the treehouse. "Have you ever had s**...?" She asks, he stands up and points out the window, "when Tarzan h**..., Tarzan poke hole in tree."
She walks over to him and says "Just do the same, pretend i'm the tree." He nods, and swiftly kicks her between the legs. "w**... was that?" She shrieks in pain.. "Tarzan always check for squirrels"

A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all on the run from the cops...

They find an abandoned potato factory and each hide in a huge brown sack. The cops arrive and kick the first sack. The redhead yells, "Woof! Woof"! to imitate a dog. The captain says, "Leave it be! We don't need some dog out here biting our ankles". A cop kicks the second sack, and the brunette says, "Meow!" The captain says, "Leave it be! I don't want some cat out here scratching our faces". A cop kicks the last sack, and the blonde says, "Potatoes!"

A man walks into a bar with a talking dog

He tells the bartender my dog can talk!
The bartender says Oh yeah? Let's hear him!
He asks the dog what is on top of a house?
The dog says roof!
The bartender is not buying it, so the guy says what is the outer covering of a tree called?
The dog says bark!
The bartender gets really mad and kicks the guy and his dog out of the bar.
Sitting on the curb, the dog turns to the guy and says what was that all about?

A Horse Walks Into A Bar…

The Bartender says, Why the long face?
The Horse, not knowing the English language, s**... all over the floor and kicks the bartender with its back leg and leaves.

Two brothers are fighting…

… in front of their mother and it starts to turn violent. The mother tries to intervene and stop the fight. The younger brother who is taking the brunt of the hits gets frustrated that he couldn't get as many punches his brother landed says, Step aside b**... . The elder brother hearing this gets angry and kicks him and says, How dare you call Mom a b**..., you son of a b**...!!

I asked my physician why he hits people on the knee with that little rubber headed hammer

He said "just for kicks"

π and e walk into a bar and demand free drinks…

The bartender kicks them out for being irrational.

Kicks joke, π and e walk into a bar and demand free drinks…

jokes about kicks