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Khrushchev Jokes

8 khrushchev jokes and hilarious khrushchev puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about khrushchev that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Great Khrushchev Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What is a good khrushchev joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Yuri Gagarin returned from space and Khrushchev asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"

Yuri replied: "Yes."
"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."
Gagarin traveled to Rome and met the Pope, who asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"
Yuri replied: "No."
"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...

The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."
After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"

One day, a man ran through Red Square in Moscow, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Khrushchev is a fool!"

He was subsequently arrested for revealing state secrets.

Nikita Khrushchev is giving a speech on the necessity of de-Stalinizing the country. Someone in the crowd yells "And why didn't you do anything about it before Stalin died?!"

Khrushchev stands straight up and bellows "WHO SAID THAT?!?", looking left and right. When there is absolute silence and no one owns up to it, he says (in a normal voice) "That is why".

An American, Russian and Malaysian are having a conversation

The American says: "We have the best stealth planes ever. We can fly our B-2 stealth bomber over Beijing and the Chinese will never see."
The Russian, not willing to be out done, says "We also have good stealth planes, so stealthy like Khrushchev and very accurate. 100% not bootleg."
The Malaysian said, "I have the best stealth plane. MH370 hasn't been found for 4 years."

A Russian Joke

People start starving and getting mad at Nikita Khrushchev.
He gets his hammer and breaks the *in case of emergency* glass, inside there are two letters from Stalin.
He opens the first one, it says "Blame everything on me."
This works great. For a while.
Soon, everyone is starving again, and Nikita opens the second letter. It says "Write two letters for your successor."

What would have happened had it been Khrushchev instead of Kennedy that was assassinated?

Dunno about politics, but I'm really sure Onassis would not have married the widow.

1961. Khrushchev says: We're going to build a wall around Berlin. And we'll make the Germans pay for that.

I call it: k**...-Funding.

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