The Best 10 Khrushchev Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Khrushchev jokes. There are some khrushchev brezhnev jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these khrushchev yuri puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Khrushchev Jokes and Puns

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...

The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."

After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"

One day, a man ran through Red Square in Moscow, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Khrushchev is a fool!"

He was subsequently arrested for revealing state secrets.

Nikita Khrushchev is giving a speech on the necessity of de-Stalinizing the country. Someone in the crowd yells "And why didn't you do anything about it before Stalin died?!"

Khrushchev stands straight up and bellows "WHO SAID THAT?!?", looking left and right. When there is absolute silence and no one owns up to it, he says (in a normal voice) "That is why".

An American, Russian and Malaysian are having a conversation

The American says: "We have the best stealth planes ever. We can fly our B-2 stealth bomber over Beijing and the Chinese will never see."

The Russian, not willing to be out done, says "We also have good stealth planes, so stealthy like Khrushchev and very accurate. 100% not bootleg."

The Malaysian said, "I have the best stealth plane. MH370 hasn't been found for 4 years."

A Russian Joke

People start starving and getting mad at Nikita Khrushchev.

He gets his hammer and breaks the *in case of emergency* glass, inside there are two letters from Stalin.

He opens the first one, it says "Blame everything on me."

This works great. For a while.

Soon, everyone is starving again, and Nikita opens the second letter. It says "Write two letters for your successor."


What would have happened had it been Khrushchev instead of Kennedy that was assassinated?

Dunno about politics, but I'm really sure Onassis would not have married the widow.

1961. Khrushchev says: We're going to build a wall around Berlin. And we'll make the Germans pay for that.

I call it: Kraut-Funding.

In the Soviet Union a man was sentenced to 50 years in prison for calling Nikita Khrushchev an idiot. 20 years for insulting him and 30 for giving away government secrets.

What do you call the cook on a Soviet battleship?

The khrushchev

Kennedy, Charles De Gaul, and Khrushchev ask god. . .

Kennedy: God, when will my people be happy?
God: 25 years.
Kennedy weeps and walks away.

Charles De Gaul: God, when will my people be happy?
God: 50 years.
Charles De Gaul weeps and walks away.

Khrushchev: God, when will my people be happy?
God weeps and walks away.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the khrushchev kennedy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working khrushchev soviet piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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