Keyboard Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A bad workman blames his fools...


**

I was fired from the keyboard factory today.

I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts

Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think

Today it became clear to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on the keyboard.

This is why I'll never be ending an email with 'Regards' ever again.

Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other

Retards

/u/TheDarkKn1ght

(First post to this community, please be kind)

How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?

thbjgctr[HUV93tqwbhj4yui89 4ruq9-tyq3t9qp36crioedfh qweoyq9f7ewr y9p7q8tr q37902t 4047yq3rqwrqorgq rp8oqgrqo8g8owg fp8ewfg o8wegf ofhu prhq439pyr q4t83q[i09[fi0a[fdshv payuhieyu463wsur58ry r927ct9y1y9f38qepw0t7f8qeje278ee0

How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?

qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv

My mom said that if I don't get off the computer and do my homework she'll slam my head into the keyboard,

but I think she's jokinfreoiwjr67uiwosi94ckcjfkdald87lakdofasdkfj

A good workman doesn't blame his fools

\*tools.

Stupid keyboard.

What's The Donald's favourite keyboard shortcut?

Command Alt Right.

Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd

That would be stereotyping.

No end in sight...

I can't see an end. 
I have no control.
I don't think there's any escape.
I don't even have a home anymore.

Time for a new keyboard.

I want anarchy

Because my keyboard is missing one.

I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.

I should get a new keyboard.

What type of blood does a keyboard have?

Typo

What's the worst thing you can come across while searching the web?

Your keyboard.

A letter to Keyboard Manufacturers

Dear Keyboard Manufacturers,

I'm writing to request a redesign so that 'g' and 't' wouldn't be right next to each other.

Retards,

I had sex with a woman on top of a keyboard

I made her qwert

The Entertainment

A charitable man decided to visit a sick ward at a hospital to cheer up the patients. He took along a keyboard and played humorous songs and told jokes at many a bedside. After finishing his final performance for an old man he said, "I hope you get better." The old man smiled vaguely at the performer and replied, "I hope you do too."

What do you call a gushing keyboard?

sqwerty

A spider crawled into my keyboard earlier.

It's okay, I've got him under Ctrl.

I rearranged my keyboard today

Now everything's under Control

I smashed up my keyboard and couldnt find the last key

I lost Ctrl

i asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.

She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"

i said "Yeah, that's the one!!"

Just got fired from the keyboard factory the other day

Apparently I wasn't putting in enough shifts

I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...

It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.

So a spider just crawled onto my keyboard

But don't worry I think it's under ctrl.

I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.

I expect a long sentence.

Why does the keyboard work 24 hrs a day?

Because it has 2 shifts.

Why don't keyboards sleep?

Because they have 2 shifts.

I don't know what to

I can't see an end.

I have no control and I don't think there's any escape

I don't even have a home anymore.


Definitely time for a new keyboard.

There's a new keyboard shortcut in GTA V which if you press it will cause your character to kill minorities.

Alt-right

I lost my home. I've lost control and I can't see any escape.

I definitely need a new keyboard.

Why doesn't a keyboard sleep?

Because it has two shifts

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.

This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending an email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?

Because the & is near

What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?

Your keyboard.

What's the worst thing you can come across while browsing the Internet?

Your keyboard.

If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?

Stereotyping.

I have no home. I've got no control. There's no escape.

I should probably look into getting a new keyboard.

I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday...

...I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

I was playing a prison simulator when the batteries in my keyboard died.

Now I can't escape.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together

And then move the rest of them to match the layout of a QWERTY keyboard too.

Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.

When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.

What is an aliens favorite keyboard key

The space key

I for one

is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard

V

V

Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working

My dad got fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

Apparently he wasn't putting enough shifts in

I was so tried today after working at the giant keyboard factory..

I put in a big shift

My mom told me if i didnt get off the computer and do my homework she would bang my head against the keyboard

I think she mighfkgk57mo58ktzsrazxv78p

What do you call a gay keyboard layout?

Qweerty

I've no home, I haven't got control, I can't see any escape

Way past the time I got a new keyboard

I assembled an IKEA keyboard

it's amain ho many spare parts they ive you

Why are keyboards always tired?

They have 2 shifts

Why does a keyboard work day and night?

Because it has two shifts!

I never realised how close "f" and "t" were on the keyboard...

...not until I texted my wife and told her I'd tucked our daughter in, anyway.

My d*** is as big from A to Z

-Look on your keyboard...

A keyboard walks into a bar

He orders a round of drinks fir everyone. The bartender asks him how he will be paying for the drinks. The keyboard says "just put it on my tab."

Some guy hit on me at the keyboard store today

I told him he wasn't my type.

My mom won't let me eat while using her laptop anymore...

Because when she caught me stroganoff I dropped my pennes on the keyboard.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

- Dude, press the Caps Lock key on your keyboard!
- WOW, THIS IS MUCH BETTER, I DON'T HAVE TO HOLD DOWN SHIFT ANYMORE

What keyboard layout does Miley Cyrus use?

TWERQY.

Where do all the keyboard keys get drunk?

Where do all the keyboard keys get drunk? At the space bar.

The nurse at the admissions desk kept misrecording each patient's blood-types..

His inability to use a keyboard definitely resulted in a whole lot of Type-Os!

Thank god the "S" on my keyboard doesn't work...

It means I can apply for jobs and they think I'm just an ex-offender.

What are the funniest keyboard jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Keyboard? Well, here are the best Keyboard puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Keyboard pick up lines to share with friends.

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