Key Pressed Jokes

28 key pressed jokes and hilarious key pressed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about key pressed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Key Pressed Short Jokes

Short key pressed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The key pressed humour may include short key keyboard jokes also.

  1. HEY, HOW ARE YOU? - Dude, press the Caps Lock key on your keyboard!
  2. We Finally Know Why The Leaning Tower Of pisa Is Leaning. The graphic designer pressed the *ITALICS* key on accident.
  3. The down arrow key on my laptop isn't functional. IT asked me if they should call the on-site repair guy to come in today... I told them it wasn't pressing.
  4. I like to press the F5 key repeatedly... I just find it very....refreshing.
    OK I'll show myself out
  5. For some mysterious reason, whenever I use a keyboard I always press the wrong keys. I just can't put finger on it.
  6. Hey @realDonaldTrump, try pressing the caps lock key... @realDonaldTrump: O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
  7. Thers a Blonde at a computer trying to play a game and it says "press any key to begin" and shes looking at the computer trying to find the any key
  8. If you were storing some herbs on your computer, what key would you press to remove and consume them? The dill-eat key
  9. Donald Trump can't 'end task' Why can't Donald Trump bring up the task manager?
    He keeps pressing Ctrl+Alt+Right (arrow key)
  10. What do you call it when someone presses the Command key to reassign the command button? Meta.

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Key Pressed One Liners

Which key pressed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with key pressed? I can suggest the ones about keys keyboard and keyboard shortcut.

  1. Warning!
    User Error.
    Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
  2. Yo momma's so fat, when she uses the keyboard she presses every key at once!
  3. Press control, alt, and down arrow key. it's fun.
  4. How do computer addicts buy w**...? They press the hash key.

Hilarious Key Pressed Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about key pressed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean piano key jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make key pressed pranks.

Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.

A friend was having trouble with her oldschool mechanical typewriter.

She said 'It's great to have such a retro device, however it doesn't work properly'.
I asked 'What is wrong with it?'
She replied 'Well some of the keys get stuck and I have to move them back manually'
'Ah I think I have a solution'
'Please tell me'
'Well what you need to do is press W, D, 4, T, all at once and it should loosen up'.

Our m**... dispensary has a recorded message...

If you want to buy m**... press the hash key now .

Yo mama is so s**... that when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.

A guy walks into an IT place...

He asks the IT guy for help with his computer. "My browser is acting dumb. The fullscreen button in the menu is broken, so I can't fullscreen. Is there another way to do it?"
"Of course!" Says the IT guy."It's a simple matter of pressing the function key and F11." He presses the keys, but nothing happens.
"Oh, I don't use the function key. I got all the functions remapped." Says the man.
The IT guy is confused. "Why would you do that? Do you even remember what you remapped them to?"
The man says "It's okay, I've got everything under control."

You've Been Programming Too Long When...

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.

Jesus and Satan are having an argument about who is the better computer programmer.

This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.
Very well, says God, let us see if Jesus has fared any better.
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?
God chuckles, Everybody knows… Jesus saves.

This is the psychiatry hotline,

If you are Obsessive- Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly,
If you are co- dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you,
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6,
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call,
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship,
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press,
If you're depressive it doesn't matter which number you'll press no one will answer you,
If you're dyslexic press 69696996966,
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep after the beep, please wait for the beep,
If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later
and if you have low self-esteem, hang up, all operators are too busy to talk to you...

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9…

Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer.

"I am!" Jesus shouted.
"No, I am!" the devil countered.
"I am!"
"I am!"
"No, me!"
"EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness.
When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them.
God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins."
Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously.
This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark.
When everything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank.
The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost.
He came up empty-handed.
Jesus pressed one key and it all came back.
The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!"
Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."