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Kettle Jokes

56 kettle jokes and hilarious kettle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kettle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the best kettle jokes around! From the humorous to the punny, find out what's so funny about kettle corn, kettle bells, pot and kettles, hoses, tea and boilers! Laugh out loud and explore the lighter side of the kettle in these hilariously corny jokes!

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Funniest Kettle Short Jokes

Short kettle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kettle humour may include short boiling pot jokes also.

  1. Just been challenged to a water fight by next door brat kids... Popped on here to check messages while the kettle boils.
  2. A man died due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle He had serious selfie steam issues.
  3. The kids next door just challenged me to a water fight. So I'd thought I'd post this while I wait for the kettle to boil.
  4. Did you know babies and kettles make the same sound? Except kettles stop screaming when you take em off the burner
  5. I got into a water fight with the kids in the street. I Won
    They completely underestimated me and my kettle.
  6. The neighbourhood kids just invited me to a waterfight! I'm just submitting this post while the kettle boils.
  7. Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids... I won!! No one's a match for me and my kettle.
  8. The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I'm just going to update my Facebook status while waiting for the kettle to boil.
  9. I just won a water fight against some kids in the park No one's a match for me and my kettle
  10. So my boyfriend's kettle has boiled dry all the water inside and he said "RIP water..." "You will be mist."

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Kettle One Liners

Which kettle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kettle? I can suggest the ones about cooker and cooking pot.

  1. I just won a water fight against the kids next door... ...no one beats me and my kettle.
  2. I had to say goodbye to the water in my kettle. It will be mist.
  3. I asked my wife to put the kettle on She said "No, It doesn't fit me"
  4. My kettle sounds like thunder and rain. I think a storm is brewing.
  5. I call my kettle Jim Carey, because it brews-all-my-tea.
  6. I won a waterfight with the local kids at the park. No ones a match for me and my kettle!
  7. I'm the undefeated champion of water fights in my neighbourhood. Nothing beats the kettle
  8. What is steam punk? A kettle that plays three chords.
  9. I got into a water fight with the kids next door they were no match for me and my kettle
  10. The kettle got a job today through nepotism... he didn't urn it.
  11. Me and the kids were having a big water fight. I guess they underestimated my kettle!
  12. Why did the kettle get so hot? It needed to blow off steam!
  13. You know what makes me angry? Haemoglobin kettles. They really make my blood boil.
  14. What do you call a dinosaur that poops in your kettle? A T-rex
  15. Which author owned the largest kettle? Truman Cup O'tea

Pot And Kettle Jokes

Here is a list of funny pot and kettle jokes and even better pot and kettle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A tub, pail, can, basket, canister, vat, kettle, cask, p**..., keg, barrel, and bowl. I needed to make a bucket list before I die.
  • My friend tries hard to be politically correct Talk about the p**... calling the kettle African American
  • So my scatterbrained friend accused me of misquoting clichés... Isn't that the p**... calling the kettle a racist?!?!
  • Why was the kitchen full of awkward s**... tension? Because the p**... never called the kettle back.
  • My most prized possession is a genuine traditional coffee p**... hand crafted in an artisanal workshop on the s**... of a Mexican volcano. It's a proper Popocatepetl kettle.
  • The m**... Legalization PAC recently released a report detailing the African American demographic in the Tea Party It was an example of the p**... calling the kettle black.
  • My friend said, "Your jokes can get really racist sometimes." And I gave him one long hard look and said, "Really, coming from you? That's like the p**... calling the kettle a thief."
  • Why was the kettle angry at the p**...? For making false acc*hue*sations.
Kettle joke, Why was the kettle angry at the p**...?

Amusing Kettle Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about kettle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cauldron jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kettle pranks.

[OC] Three British people were arguing about who drinks the hottest tea.

The first person says: "The moment my tea is ready, I pour it into the cup and drink it all up".
The second person laughs and says: "That's it? I drink my tea straight from the Kettle".
The third person scoffs and says: "You both are amatuers. I just put all the ingredients in my mouth and sit on the stove".

Coffee drinking trio

3 friends are bragging about their coffee drinking habits.
1st: I take it dark, thick and black. It's so strong, the spoon stands upright in my cup when I stir it.
2nd: big deal, at least you use a cup. I pour it directly from the kettle into my mouth.
3rd: yeah? We'll I don't even use a kettle. I chew the coffee beans, drink some water and just go sit on the stove for a while.

Did you hear about the kettle e**...?

Luckily, there were no casual-teas.

Why did the angry kettle feel calm after he was scammed?

He just had to let off some steam

LPT: Turn the kettle on before going to the bathroom for #2.

Now you have something interesting to listen to while you play on your phone for the next 30 minutes.

Went to my local hardware store to buy a kettle

I said, would you sell me a kettle?
He said Kenwood?
I said great, what times he in?

Dracula walks into a bar.

He orders a cup of boiling water. The barman pours a cup from the kettle and gives it Dracula; he says "No b**... Mary today?"
Dracula reaches into his pocket and pulls out a string. Then a used t**... pops out of Dracula's pocket and he lowers the t**... by the string into the cup of water. Then Dracula carefully lays the string over the side of the cup and says "No thanks. Today I'm just having tea."

I had a waterfight with the kids down my road earlier

I won! Their SuperSoaker3000's were no match for me and my kettle

Kettle joke, I had a waterfight with the kids down my road earlier

jokes about kettle