Ketchup Jokes

Funniest Ketchup Short Jokes

Short ketchup jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ketchup humour may include short tomato sauce jokes also.

1. I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot yesterday.... It caused severe pain To-ma-toes.
2. Why was the ketchup in the refrigerator embarrassed? He saw the salad dressing! Thank you thank you..
3. A wife says to her husband put ketchup on the shopping list . He reluctantly agrees. I can't read it anymore he replies
4. I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently. Still can't get the last of that ketchup out though.
5. My son told me, Dad, I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, and now it burns. I said, That's Heinz sight for you.
6. A tomato; a tap and a hat were having a race... the tap was running but the hat was on ahead while the tomato couldn't ketchup.
7. Who won the race? Who won the race? The lettuce, the tomato or the faucet?
   The lettuce was a head, the faucet was still running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
8. Why are your eyes covered in ketchup? I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?"
   So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.
9. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
10. You know that sound when the ketchup bottle falls against the cabin you just closed? That's the sound of someone else's problem.

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Ketchup One Liners

Which ketchup one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ketchup? I can suggest the ones about hot sauce and mustard.

1. My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read any of it.
2. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
3. The Ketchup shortage this year was so predictable. But I guess Heinz sight is 2020
4. I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes... I now have Heinzsight.
5. I've made an app to loosen the top of a ketchup bottle It's an open sauce project
6. What do french fries do when they met after a long time? They ketchup
7. I decided to put some ketchup in my eyes... ...but in Heinzsight, it wasn't a good idea.
8. I got ketchup on my eyes. Ya know, in Heinzsight, that was a dumb move.
9. I smeared ketchup all over my eyes once... It was kind of a bad idea in Heinz-sight
10. I could see every bottle of ketchup in the restaurant. Heinz sight is 20/20.
11. What's sneezing on your period like? Smacking the bottom of an open ketchup bottle.
12. My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read anything.
13. I rubbed ketchup in my eyes Now i have Heinzsight.
14. What did Donald Trump get on his SATs? Ketchup
15. [OC] Why did the mayonnaise win the running race? Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Tomato Ketchup Jokes

Here is a list of funny tomato ketchup jokes and even better tomato ketchup puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Two tomatoes are walking across the road when a car drives over one of them.
  the other turns around and says "Hurry up ketchup!"
  
  
• I was writing the shopping list and my wife told me to tomato ketchup on it. What a silly suggestion.. Can't read any of it now.
• If the tomato is technically a fruit Does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
• What did the big tomato say to the little tomato? You will never ketchup to me
• A tomato family is walking down the road... when baby tomato falls behind. Daddy tomato goes back, smacks him on the head and says, "Ketchup!"
• Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable? Because they can't ketchup.
• What did the tomato say to the wheat? You go pasta, I'll ketch-up.
• A cabbage, a tap and a tomato had a race The Cabbage was ahead, the tap was running and the tomato tried to ketchup
• Tomatoes grow so fast. Other plants can't even ketchup.
• Why did the tomato lose the race? He couldn't ketchup in time.

Heinz Ketchup Jokes

Here is a list of funny heinz ketchup jokes and even better heinz ketchup puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Maybe I should have put more mustard on my cheeseburger In Heinz sight, I should have added more ketchup
• Did you know that putting ketchup on your glasses makes you see better It's because Heinz-sight is 20 20
• Why do they call it Heinz field? Because the Steelers can't seem to ketchup.
• In retrospect, I should have known rubbing ketchup on my eyes would be useless. Oh well, Heinz-sight is 20/20 I guess.
• I used to rub ketchup in my eye Now i've got Heinz sight
• I used to think that putting ketchup on my glasses was a great way to clean them. But in Heinz sight, I don't think that was such a good idea.
• Shortage of Heinz ketchup packets... ... now secretly caused by usage for hemorrhoids. The company will now market "A" Heinz for restaurants and "B" Heinz for hemorrhoids.
• I forgot to check if my ketchup bottle's cap was tightened…spilled everywhere. Ah well, Heinz sight is 20/20.
• Company Heinz announces plans to produce PPE There is still global shortages. They will be playing Ketchup.
• Why does Heinz not care about competition? He knows they won't be able to ketchup to him.

Ketchup Bottle Jokes

Here is a list of funny ketchup bottle jokes and even better ketchup bottle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Mental illness is on the increase... At least that's what the ketchup bottle told me this morning.
• Getting laid for me is like getting ketchup out of a bottle easy if i have a knife
• Went to a journalists house for dinner and he'd put stickers over his ketchup, mayo and tobasco bottles. Apparently he likes to keep all his sauces anonymous.
• I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot. It caused immense pain to ma toes.
• What does shampoo and ketchup have in common? My dad waters both down when we get to the end of the bottle.
• I get all my gossip from a ketchup bottle Its a very reliable sauce
• The bottle of ketchup slipped from my hands yesterday. This event caused a huge pain to ma toes.
• I treat my wife the same way I treat a bottle of ketchup... I always take the top off, flip it upside down, and hit it has hard as I can.
• What's the difference between a girl and a ketchup bottle? I don't like when a ketchup bottle squirts.
• How is that last bit of ketchup in the bottom of the bottle like a closeted gay preacher in the Deep South? It's never coming out.

Mustard And Ketchup Jokes

Here is a list of funny mustard and ketchup jokes and even better mustard and ketchup puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did the mustard lose the race between sauces? Because it couldn't ketchup
• I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of ketchup and mustard. But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
• A guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hot dog. "Do you want ketchup and mustard on that?" the bartender asks. "Neither. I just want to relish it."
• How did the hot dog ask the ketchup out on a date? He mustard up the courage.
• . What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
• What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together? it's must-up ..*rubs brow*
• Why is ketchup married to mustard? Cause ketchup accidentally broke the condiment.
• What did the wiener dog say to the Doberman? Go ahead I'll ketchup, I mustard.
• Why it's called the pc mustard race? Because consoles need to ketchup
• Well this should spice things up. I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

Ketchup And Mustard Jokes

Here is a list of funny ketchup and mustard jokes and even better ketchup and mustard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the bun say to the hot dog? I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!
• I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
• He loves ketchup and mustard... ...but Manti Te'o is Anti-mayo.

Cheeky Ketchup Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about ketchup you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spaghetti sauce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ketchup pranks.