The Best 21 Ketchup Bottle Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ketchup Bottle jokes. There are some ketchup bottle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ketchup bottle puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Ketchup Bottle Jokes and Puns

Getting girls to have sex with me is like getting ketchup out of a bottle.

Easy when I have a knife.

I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot yesterday....

It caused severe pain To-ma-toes.

I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.

Still can't get the last of that ketchup out though.

I was checking out at Tesco...

I was checking out at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one item on the conveyor belt... a box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring, but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So, to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said, "Looks like we've both bought something to put on our sausages!".

I could see every bottle of ketchup in the restaurant.

Heinz sight is 20/20.


What's sneezing on your period like?

Smacking the bottom of an open ketchup bottle.

You know that sound when the ketchup bottle falls against the cabin you just closed?

That's the sound of someone else's problem.

Mental illness is on the increase...

At least that's what the ketchup bottle told me this morning.

Convincing someone to have sex is a lot like getting ketchup out of a glass bottle.

It's a lot easier with a knife.

Getting laid for me is like getting ketchup out of a bottle

easy if i have a knife

I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.

It caused immense pain to ma toes.

You can explore ketchup bottle reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ketchup bottle dad jokes. There are also ketchup bottle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A staggering drunk knocks over a pregnant lady who is carrying a bag of groceries...

2 eggs and a bottle of ketchup fall and break to the sidewalk. The drunk say "Sorry lady, but it would have died anyway. Its eyes were too far apart.

What does shampoo and ketchup have in common?

My dad waters both down when we get to the end of the bottle.

I get all my gossip from a ketchup bottle

Its a very reliable sauce

A man walks into the ER

And the doctor asks "whats the problem?".

The man replies "Well sir, I seem to have slipped and accidentally fell onto this ketchup bottle and its definitely stuck in there. Can you help?"

The doctor looks at the patient, twists the bottle and it pops rather quickly. The doctor stares for a moment and simply says "Now explain the condom".

The bottle of ketchup slipped from my hands yesterday.

This event caused a huge pain to ma toes.

I treat my wife the same way I treat a bottle of ketchup...

I always take the top off, flip it upside down, and hit it has hard as I can.

What's the difference between a girl and a ketchup bottle?

I don't like when a ketchup bottle squirts.

How is that last bit of ketchup in the bottom of the bottle like a closeted gay preacher in the Deep South?

It's never coming out.


I have terrible eyesight, but for some reason I can see ketchup bottles really well.

I guess Heinz sight is 20/20

The metropolitan police have received information that 1 in 3 bottles of Heinz ketchup may be poisonous...

They say the sauce is unreliable...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ketchup bottle jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ketchup bottle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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