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Kernel Jokes

37 kernel jokes and hilarious kernel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kernel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you ready for some laughs? Then check out this collection of corny Linux Kernel jokes! From a cashew battalion to a cracked and patched kernel, you won't want to miss out on these puns!

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Funniest Kernel Short Jokes

Short kernel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kernel humour may include short processor jokes also.

  1. In your will, be sure to write you want to be cremated. The night before you die, eat as many popcorn kernels as humanly possible.
  2. I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels right before I die. My cremations gonna be poppin'!
  3. There was a bad accident at the Air Force base. A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.
  4. What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel? I am Root.
  5. I heard Orville Redenbacher served in the Army. They called the guy under him "Lieutenant Kernel".
  6. I met a man with the last name Popcorn. He said he was in the military... He was a kernel.
  7. My computer made a popping sound today... ...guess that's what happens when the Kernel overheats.
  8. If pirates from the Pacific North West say "Shiver me timbers!", what do pirates from Iowa say? "Shiver me kernels!"
  9. Did you here the one about the shy corn kernel that went to the party. They say he really popped when he came out of his shell.
  10. What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn? Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.

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Kernel One Liners

Which kernel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kernel? I can suggest the ones about kits and beans.

  1. Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a kernel panic was a kfc that was out of chicken.
  2. I like my women like my kernels
    about 6 years old and stable
  3. I downloaded corn onto my computer. It messed up the kernel.
  4. The Corniest joke ever What corn soldiers are you?
    We're kernels!
  5. Who Has The Highest Rank in the Linux Military? The kernel.
  6. What did the corn boy say when he lost his kernels? THIS SHUCKS
  7. How is an ear of corn like the Army?? It has lots of Kernels :D
  8. What does Linus Torvalds get when he drops his popcorn? Kernel panic.
  9. Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn? The kernel was looking for him.
  10. What army reproduces asexually? The corn army. They're only kernels and no privates
  11. What do you call things used to smooth corn kernels? Kernel Sanders.
  12. What military officer leads the nation of corn? The kernel
  13. What did the kernel do in a drive by? Pop.pop.pop
  14. What do you call it when a Disco DJ's Macbook crashes mid-set? Kernel panic at the disco.
  15. Not enjoying your corn at KFC? Blame the kernel.

Corn Kernel Jokes

Here is a list of funny corn kernel jokes and even better corn kernel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the corn command a regiment? It was a kernel
  • How does Perry the pea pod greet his mate Kevin the corn kernel? Morn'in cob.

Linux Kernel Jokes

Here is a list of funny linux kernel jokes and even better linux kernel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Apparently red hat came out and said that there were no more Linux kernels in development, that they have gone in every direction. Apparently there's nothing GNU under the sun.
Kernel joke, Apparently red hat came out and said that there were no more Linux kernels in development, that they

Kernel joke, Apparently red hat came out and said that there were no more Linux kernels in development, that they

Cheeky Kernel Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about kernel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toolbox jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kernel pranks.

My wife was inhaling popcorn and nearly choked to death on an un-popped kernel.

I almost had to call the popcoroner.
(Real life: my wife really was eating popcorn with no breathing in between and I said maybe slow down so you don't choke on that. I don't want to have to call the pop coroner , and she abruptly started laughing and, I swear, choked on some (non-fatal). So I decided to present my ad-lib here, as a joke. At least I (and you) can be sure it's no repost!)

If a parent f**k() 5 times, 31 children will be generated.

fork() is an operation whereby a process creates a copy of itself. It is usually a system call, implemented in the kernel.

One bad thing you can never say against Kernel Sanders.

Is that he didnt feed his slaves well.

Kernel joke, Not enjoying your corn at KFC?