The Best 49 Kentucky Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Kentucky jokes. There are some kentucky mississippi jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these kentucky kentucky redneck puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Kentucky Jokes and Puns

A man from West Virginia and a woman from Kentucky got married...

The day after their wedding, the man's father sees him storm into the house, gun in hand. "What's got you upset, son?" The father asked. To which the man replied, "I shot my wife. I found out she was a virgin, so if she isn't good enough for her family, she isn't good enough for ours!"

What is the similarity between tornadoes and divorces in Kentucky?

... either way, someone is losing a trailer.

got arrested for smuggling books into kentucky

got off on a technicality, no one there could *prove* they were books

Kentucky joke, got arrested for smuggling books into kentucky

A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.

He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lord's Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give us this day our daily chicken

The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.

100 million dollars , says the KFC rep.

Again the Pope shakes his head and explains that these words are sacred.

One billion dollars. This is our final offer.

After some consideration of the sum of the donation that the church is about to receive, the Pope reluctantly agrees to the deal. He then returned to the Vatican and called a meeting of all the Cardinals.

I have good news and bad news, the Pontiff said. The good news is, I have managed to secure a donation of one billion dollars to our church. The bad news is, we've lost the Wonder Bread account.

If you marry a woman in Tennessee, but divorce her in Kentucky...

... is she still your sister?

If you see a Kentucky man driving down the road...

How can you tell if he's married? If he's married there'll be tobacco juice down both sides of the car.

How are people from Kentucky like flour?

They're inbred.

Kentucky joke, How are people from Kentucky like flour?

A Joke about Eastern Kentucky

In my younger years I used to counterfeit money and pass it off as real money. One day, after I made a fake $7 bill, I found a random guy on the street and asked him if he had change for 7 dollars.

"I sure do" the man replies as he hands me $3 and a $4.

Kentucky Christmas

What is the worst part of being a kid in Kentucky at Christmas? Only having one set of grandparents buying you gifts.

what do you call a Kentucky farm girl who can run faster than her dad?

A Virgin

Kentucky Derby

Watching the Kentucky Derby for the first time, I was surprised it was only a single race rather than a full event, but then again, they only want one race in Kentucky.

You can explore kentucky redneck reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kentucky arkansas dad jokes. There are also kentucky puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... spoons.

She did not find it humorous

AMA Request: Kim Davis.

I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so:

If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?

What do you get when you line up 12 girls from Kentucky?

A full set of teeth.

Yo Mama so poor...

...that when she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken she licks other people's fingers.

You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler)

A democratic senator from Kentucky.

Kentucky joke, You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler)

You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky...

Otherwise they would've called it a teethbrush!

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in

why is it so hard to solve a murder in Kentucky?

Because everyone is related and there are no dental records.

What does a Kentucky girl scream while she is having sex?

Get off me Pa, you is crushing my cigarettes!

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky.

They're always 20 years behind everything.

Mark Twain

How did the guy from Kentucky find his sister in the woods?

Pretty good!

Why did the chicken cross the state line?

He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!

Why do bulemics like Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Because it comes with a bucket.

Kentucky Fried Chicken just donated a large sum of money to a hospital

I heard they are calling it the Chicken Wing

Are you guys watching the Kentucky Derby?

Yay or neigh?

Tickets to the Kentucky derby are 1100$

If I wanted to spend 1100$ for two minutes of action, I'd hire a prostitute.

Kentucky Freud Chicken...

It's motherfuckin' good!

Whats long, black and hard to cut into?

The line at ~~Kentucky Fried Chicken.~~ Popeyes
Edit Thanks /u/SatanicOnion

TIL the tooth brush was invented in Kentucky...

Anywhere else and it would be called a teeth brush.

Two old farmers were talking about the 'good-ole-days'..

The old farmer from Texas says, "When I had my ranch, I could get up in the morning, get in my old Chevy truck, and drive all day and still be on my property."

The old farmer from Kentucky said, "Yeah, I had a truck like that once too... you shoulda gota Ford...hell, they'll get ya all the way ta town and back!"

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

If was created anywhere else it would have been called the teethbrush.

So I saw Amy Schumer perform live...

The Kentucky Derby really is magical!

Prof to the student: Did you study geography?

Student: Yes sir.
Prof: so, tell me, where is Kentucky?
Student: At page 35 prof.

Why don't they need dress codes in Kentucky?

They already have the same genes.

They call the Kentucky Derby the fastest two minutes in sports...

But they clearly haven't seen me start, then quit, a 5K.

I hate to beat a dead horse, but

If I've got enough money in the Kentucky Derby, you better believe I'll do what's necessary

What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky that can run faster than all 6 of her brothers?

A virgin.

Did you hear they banned round hay bales in Kentucky?

Cows couldn't get a square meal.

(h/t my grandma who tells this joke like it is her job)

Two travelers are driving past a, "Welcome to Lewisville, Kentucky!", sign and ...

They can't decide if it's pronounce LouiS-ville or Louey-ville. So they decide to settle it by asking at a burger place they pull up to.

"Hi we're from out of town and have a bet about how locals pronounce this place"?

The local says deliberately and slowly, "Burger... King".

What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken have in common?

What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken have in common?
A: by the time your finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put the bone in.

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Louie-ville or Louis-ville?

It's Frankfort.

There's a reason they call it "March Madness".

A Duke fan, a Kentucky fan, and a Tennessee fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most.

The Tennessee fan insists that he is the most loyal and then yells This is for the Vols! and jumps off the mountain.

Not to be outdone, the UK fan next professes his love for his team. He screams This is for the Cats! and pushes the Duke fan off the mountain.

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

Because if it were anywhere else, it would have been called the teethbrush.

What do folks in Kentucky do when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

Two Canadians in Kentucky

So these two Canadians are driving into Louisville, Kentucky and are arguing about how to pronounce the name of the city.

Its pronounced Lou-is-vill…obviously The oilman from Alberta says

No, you see, it is French! It is pronounced Loo-ie-vee! The guy from Quebec retorts.

They stop at a Burger King for lunch while they're in town. How do you pronounce the name of this place? Say it real slow, we're having an argument we want you to settle.

The kid at the counter takes a deep breath and says… burr-gerr-king

What do you call a horse meat sandwich in Kentucky?

Last placed.

My wife and I got married on the same day as the Kentucky Derby. I remember it because I was considering betting my life's savings on this one Filly.


I also considered putting money on the derby.

I was looking for something to eat the other day & I found this Kentucky brand jelly my wife bought.

I tell you it don't matter, even if you put peanut butter on the bread too, you just can't make a decent sandwich with it. Got no taste.

I told her, "Woman, don't buy that KY jelly anymore!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the kentucky university of kentucky jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working kentucky kentucky basketball piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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