kent Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious kent puns

62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville".

Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.

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I hear Clark Kent is quite the overprotective father.

His children are under constant supervision.

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A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.

He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lord's Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give us this day our daily chicken

The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.

100 million dollars , says the KFC rep.

Again the Pope shakes his head and explains that these words are sacred.

One billion dollars. This is our final offer.

After some consideration of the sum of the donation that the church is about to receive, the Pope reluctantly agrees to the deal. He then returned to the Vatican and called a meeting of all the Cardinals.

I have good news and bad news, the Pontiff said. The good news is, I have managed to secure a donation of one billion dollars to our church. The bad news is, we've lost the Wonder Bread account.

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New glasses

"New glasses? They look super, man!"
Clark Kent begins to sweat.

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Kentucky Derby

Watching the Kentucky Derby for the first time, I was surprised it was only a single race rather than a full event, but then again, they only want one race in Kentucky.

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If you see a Kentucky man driving down the road...

How can you tell if he's married? If he's married there'll be tobacco juice down both sides of the car.

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Kentucky Freud Chicken...

It's motherfuckin' good!

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How do you reveal Supermans identity?

You Kent

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What's the difference between spider man and superman?

peter parker can shoot webs. clark kent.

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There once was a man from Kent...

Who's dick was so long that it bent
To save him much trouble
He put it in her double
and instead of cumming, he went.

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Three vampires enter a dim bar in Kent.

The barmaid asksΒ "What'll you have gentlemen?"

Flashing his best spooky grin, the first vampire saysΒ "I'll have a glass of blood"Β Β When she asks second vampire, he says,"Glass of blood please"Β Β She looks at the third vampire and he smirks and says,Β "I'll take a glass of plasma"

She shrugs and yells down the barΒ Β "Two bloods and a blood lite".Β 

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Kentucky Derby trivia - Why don't female jockeys shave their pussies?

They like their fur long!

I'll show myself out...

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How did the Kentucky woman know her daughter was on her period?

She tasted the blood on her son's penis.

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Kentucky Fried Chicken just donated a large sum of money to a hospital

I heard they are calling it the Chicken Wing

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What does a Kentucky girl scream while she is having sex?

Get off me Pa, you is crushing my cigarettes!

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There once was a man from Kent,

Whose cock was extraordinarily bent,
To save himself the trouble,
He'd put it in double,
And instead of coming he went.

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What do you call the smallest Superman in the world?..

Quark Kent.

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A man from East Kent

There once was a man from East Kent,

Whose tool was so long that it bent.

To save her some trouble,

he folded it double.

And instead of coming, he went.

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Kentucky Christmas

What is the worst part of being a kid in Kentucky at Christmas? Only having one set of grandparents buying you gifts.

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What is Superchicken's secret identity?

Cluck Kent

^(My eight year old told me he made that up.)

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Did I miss the Limerick fad?

There once was a fellow from Kent,

Whose cock was so long that it bent.

To save him some trouble,

He'd put it in double.

And instead of coming, he went.

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Kentucky Fried Chicken has introduced the new Hillary Bucket.

Two large thighs, two small breasts and two left wings.

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Why is it if a woman is constantly taking photos of herself, she's called an attention whore...

...but when Peter Parker or Clark Kent does it, they're a "great reporter?"

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What did the old Kentucky colonel say when he got his Viagra?

The south shall rise again!

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chris Eubank Sr has written a book about ethics.

If it's a success, his next one will be about Kent.

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The phone rings...

...and the lady of the house answers.

"Hello."

"May I speak with Mrs. Smith please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Smith, this is Doctor Kent at Metro Labs.

When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, we also received a biopsy from another Mr. Smith as well.

We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Smith asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."

"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Smith.

"Normally we can, but your insurance will only pay for these expensive tests once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The insurance company recommends that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.

If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him!"

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I'm going to the Kentucky men's basketball game vs Grand Canyon tonight

I'm pretty worried, I hear Grand Canyon's really deep.

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How does Superman put on his tights...

He throws it in the air and flies into them.

How does Clark Kent put on his pants...

One leg at a time, what do think? He's Superman?...

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What stands between Klark Kent and success ?

His glasses

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The man from Kent.

There once was a man from Kent, whose dick was badly bent. To save him the trouble, he put it in double, and instead of coming he went.

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I saw this guy getting cornered by 4 thugs, so I thought I'd step in.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but that nerd, Clark Kent, kicked our asses.

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I saw a guy being pushed around by 4 thigs, so I thought I'd step in.

OKAY, never try fucking with Clark Kent. All 5 of us got our asses handed.

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People seem to think I come from Kent.

I hear them mutter the word as I walk past.

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What do you call Black Superman?

Kunta Kent

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Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle?

They like horsin' around.

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What are the most funny Kent jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Kent? Well, here are the best Kent dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Kent pick up lines to share with friends.

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