Ken Jokes
89 ken jokes and hilarious ken puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ken that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of hilarious jokes starring Barbie and Ken! Read funny gag lines featuring Jeff and Jeffrey, two of Barbie's best friends, and laugh at their attempts to eat tarts!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Ken Short Jokes
Short ken jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ken humour may include short barbie and ken jokes also.
- A girl says to her mom, "I want a Barbie and a GI Joe". Mom says, "Doesn't barbie come with Ken?"
And the girl replies, "No, Barbie comes with GI Joe. She just fakes it with Ken." - What do you call a male version of a 'Karen'? Ken…Kurt…Karl? Nah: Kelvin. Because he's an absolute zero.
- Have you heard of divorced barbie? Her set costs $450. ...mostly because it comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and one of Ken's friends.
- I tried to be a tap dancer but I kept falling in the sink!
(thank you, british uncle ken for that dry humor) - My science teacher told us this James Bond says to a chicken, "I'm Bond, James Bond." The chicken turns and says, "Well I'm Ken, Chic-ken."
I'll see myself out... - Two ninjas are training in a field. One ninja says "I'll bet you can't hit that that target with your throwing star."
The other ninja says "Shur-I-ken." - (Since bad pickup lines seem to be the trend right now) Do you want to play barbies? I'll be Ken, and you be the box he came in
- I phoned my wife And told her I had something to tell her, but it's hard to say.
Nervously, she said "What is it?"
I said "Ken Dodds Dad's dog is dead". - In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who's a homeless man from New Jersey Hobo Ken.
- Wanna Play Barbies? Man: "Hi there, would you like to play barbies?"
Lady: "I guess so?"
Man: "Awesome, I'll be Ken and you can be the box I come in."
Share These Ken Jokes With Friends
Ken One Liners
Which ken one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ken? I can suggest the ones about barbie and .
- Why didn't barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box.
- Did you know they make a divorcee Barbie now? She comes with all of Ken's stuff.
- Why did Barbie divorce Ken? Because the box he came in wasn't hers.
- Why did the male doll fall apart after Barbie friendzoned him? Because he became Bro Ken.
- Why does Barbie like Halloween? It's pump-ken time
- If Kenny Loggins forgets his WiFi password... Ken he log in?
- What did Ryu say to Ken? HOWAREYOUKEN?!
- let's play Barbie..... I'll be Ken, you be the box I come in.
- What did Ryu say to Ken when he asked if he could borrow his car? Shoryuken
- What country questions your ability to perform? Ken ya? Ken ya?
- Why did Barbie go to a yoga retreat in Australia? She heard about all the Ken gurus
- What did Ken say to Ryu when he asked to borrow money? *SUREYOUCAN!!!*
- Did you hear about the new divorcee Barbie? She comes with all of Ken's stuff.
- Hey Ryu, can I use your bathroom? SHOR-YU-KEN!
- Can you perform a spinning dragon uppercut? shor-yu-ken
Barbie And Ken Jokes
Here is a list of funny barbie and ken jokes and even better barbie and ken puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My sister and her husband just split up, so I got my 8 year old niece the new "Divorce Barbie" She comes with half of Ken's stuff.
- What does Barbie say when the drought finally ends? It's raining Ken, hallelujah....
- Why is Barbie's boyfriend afraid of commitment? He's a chic Ken.
- What is the best Barbie Doll? Divorced Barbie because it comes with Ken's house and car.
- How does Barbie read her books? She uses a Ken Doll.
- ¿Dónde está Barbie? Ken sabe.
- Don't forget about divorced Barbie for a gift idea this year! Barbie comes with $3400 a month, Ken's house, Ken's car, and even comes with one of Ken's friends!
- Why does Barbie hate Amazon? because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.
- Did you hear about the new Barbie doll they are releasing? "Divorced" Barbie it's called. Comes with all Ken's accessories
- What did the gay street fighter say to the Barbie doll at their wedding? I do Ken
Ken Doll Jokes
Here is a list of funny ken doll jokes and even better ken doll puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you see if the Ken doll is ticklish? Give him test tickles.
- Ken walks into a bar... ..bie doll.
Ken Dodd Jokes
Here is a list of funny ken dodd jokes and even better ken dodd puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I see Ken Dodd died. Did he?
No doddy.
Comical & Quirky Ken Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about ken you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ken pranks.
An American, an Frenchman, an Israeli, a Spaniard, and a German go to see a seminar
They show up late, and can only find seats in the back row. When the presenter notices them come in and take seats in the very back, he shouts to them, "Can you guys see me back there?"
They answered back in order, "Yes" "Oui" "Ken" "Si" "Ja"
a chicken is sitting at the bar
A man sits next to him
The chicken asks him whats your name..
The man looks at him and says..
Bond, james bond..
The man reciprocates the question.
The chicken says
Ken, chicken
I hate when people talk about their kids age in weeks and months.
"Jessica said her first word at 36 weeks!"
You mean 9 months.
"Ken is 24 months!"
Deborah, he's 2.
"My baby is -26 weeks old!"
No, Karen, you miscarried.
A man has been ill for some time. Fearing that his end is near, he calls his wife to his bedside.
"I have a last wish," he says to her. "Promise me that 2 months after I die, you'll marry our neighbor, Ken."
The wife is perplexed. "But, my dear, I thought you hated Ken," she asks him.
"I do," says the man.
A couple Roman soldiers walk into a bar.
The buddies order drinks and start chatting.
John: I heard somewhere your name is actually Kevin? But I know you as Ken?
Ken: That is correct.
John: How does one get Ken from Kevin?
Ken: Easy, I'm not six anymore.
A Book Series Never Written…
The Assignment Chronicles
* Book 1 written by Ken U. Duitt
* Book 2 written by Noah Kent
* Book 3 written by Nora Cannai
* Book 4 written by May Neether
* Book 5 written by Al Trayet
* Book 6 written by Cole Laktiv-Raleif
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Ryu and Ken find at Chuck-E-Cheese?
**HA TOKEN!**
**- - -**
(Street Fighter joke, but I know my fellow nerds lurk this sub)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old Sandy McPherson was dying. Tenderly, his wife Maggie knelt by his bedside and asked, 'Anything I can get you, Sandy?' No reply. 'Have ye no' a last wish, Sandy?' Faintly, came the answer ... 'A wee bit of yon boiled ham.' 'Wheesht, man,' said Maggie, 'ye ken fine that's for the f**....
Ryu wanted to confess to his lady-crush Chun Li....
So he baked some white fudge treacle tarts and put them down on a table. Ken walked up and was like, "ooh, these tarts smell delicious" and he started to pick one up, when Ryu grabbed the whole plate and did a jumping-spinning kick at Ken while yelling "THESE TARTS AREN'T FOR YOU KEN!"
Hey Ryu, where's Ken at? He's not at his desk.
He Doookin'!
Oh, okay, thanks.
Ken Cross' AMA
That's it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Studies show that 1 in 3 people are serial killers
I had to shoot Ken and James. What if one of them is a serial killer?
Ken Burns has revealed the title of his documentary about software piracy:
The Warez
The most important quality for Americas leadership.
America needs a hero who Ken Bone.
in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]
Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry
(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)
I'm not a contentious person, but if I had to pick a bone
It'd be Ken.
Who is the most patriotic politician ?
Mayor ken .
Why did Bill Nye handle the debate with Ken Ham so well?
He has years of experience dealing with children who don't know a whole lot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Annual Checkup
Kenneth is visiting his doctor for his annual physical.
DOC: I strongly recommend you quit m**....
KEN: Why?
DOC: I'm trying to perform a prostate exam.
So it's been a few days since Phil and Ken got married under Irish law...
And already Phil wants to Kilkenny
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I use to worked with an 82 year old. He always had extremely v**... jokes. "Hey Ken, got any new jokes?"
'Nope, didn't go to Church this week.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is ken so boring?
He's like a weekend without w**...
James Bond Met a Chick During An Operation.
James: *The Name's Bond. James Bond.*
Chick: *The Name's Ken. Chick Ken.*
What does Chun-Li answer Ken when he proposes to her?
I-do-Ken!
Street Fighter: What did an angry Ryu say when Ken came up to him and asked if he could go to the upper floor of the dojo?
...Shoryuken!
I told my friend that documentary directors can be pretty savage
He replied: "Yea, Ken Burns"
I met Ken Bone yesterday
I found him to be humerus.
Obi-Wan had a son named Ken
Ken Obi-wan Kenobi
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Barbie get when she took Ken out of a good weekend?
She had some good w**... left over.
Barbie does not come with Ken.
She comes with G.I. Joe and fakes it with Ken.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Ken Bone say when he lost his e**...?
...Ken't Bone
What's a Ken dressed up as a skeleton ?
Ken Bones
Ken Bone called me today.
He wanted to know if he should return Santa's sweater or not.
What do Ken Jennings and OJ Simpson have in common?
they both killed at double jeopardy!
Communist Russia and Santa
There is a couple walking in communist Russia. However, they aren't communists themselves. The two (Ken and Jen) are debating over whether it's raining or snowing.
"It's totally snowing." Says Ken.
"No, this is definitely rain..." Jen remarks.
The two see their friend Rudolph, a communist. He has never been wrong about the weather before. They ask him what the weather is.
Quickly, he says "I can affirm that it's raining, friends."
"Ha!" Says Jen.
"B-b-but!" Ken mutters, trying to keep his composure.
"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear." Jen remarks.
Did you hear about Ken M.?
He was a master baiter, but they told him to beat it.
