Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Keller Jokes with Friends.
Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as...
"The most violent book I have ever read"
How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
She answered the stapler.
How did she pierce her other ear?
Those b**... called back.
(feel free to imagine a dulled "Huwwuh? *ka-thunk* UUUNNGHH!" right after the first punchline)
Do you guys remember Helen Keller jokes? What's your favorite one? I'll go.
Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
She's a woman.
So Helen Keller walks into a bar
Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a lamp. Then she walks into the wa- ok, you get the idea.
Let's hear your best Helen Keller jokes.
Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork. Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!
Hellen Keller walks into a bar.
And then a table, and then a stool.
What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?
That's the worst book I ever read.
Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller?
Neither did she.
Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009
What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?
One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.
Helen keller sets down a cheese grader and says...
That was the most violent book i've ever read
Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream?
She was wearing mittens.
You can explore keller williams reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean keller anderson dad jokes. There are also keller puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How did Helen Keller break her arm?
You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.
Why could no one hear Helen Keller cry for help when she fell off a bridge?
She was wearing mittens
What did Helen Keller say when she picked up the cheese grater?
That was the most violent book I've ever read...........
How do you confuse Helen Keller?
You tell her to read a basketball.
Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"...
Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg"
(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone?
Senseless violence.
Why isn't Helen Keller a good driver?
Because she's dead.
Why did Helen Keller mastutbate with one hand?
So she could moan with the other.
Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set?
She didn't know either
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her mom rearranged the living room
What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?
Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
Why did Helen Keller fire her maid?
Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling
How do you know if Helen Keller just m**...?
She spits when she talks.
What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff?
Nothing, she had her mittens on.
Why can't Helen Keller drive....
Because she's a woman.
Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff?
She had mittens on.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm?
Trying to read the road signs!!!
Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
She was wearing mittens
What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?
The volleyball net.
Why would Helen Keller be a terrible driver?
She's dead.
What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?
Endless love
Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand?
Because she uses the other one to sing
How did Helen Keller discover m**...?
Trying to read her own lips.
Why is Hellen Keller bad at driving?
Because she's dead.
Why couldn't Helen Keller scream when she was pushed off the mountain?
She was wearing mittens.
Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?
Because she was a woman
How did Helen Keller break her arms?
She tried to read a road sign going 45mph
Hellen Keller was the first person to go to Disney land.
Don't worry, she didn't know it either.
Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell into a ditch
She screamed until she was blue in the hand.
I can't see the haters.
- Helen Keller
Did you know that Helen Keller lived in a huge mansion?
Neither did she
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
"On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades"
- probably Helen Keller
What happened to Helen Keller when she fell down the mountain?
She broke five fingers calling for help
Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?
So she could sing with the other.
Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well?
Neither did she.
Did you know Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard?
Neither did she.
I wrote a book called Endless Love
It's about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller
Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set in her back yard?
Neither did she.
Did you hear than Hellen Keller is the 13th most influential person of all time.
Neither did she.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
She's dead
TIL Helen Keller has a waterfall named after her, to celebrate her story of learning about water.
It's named Helen Keller Falls
Hellen Keller walks in a bar
And a wall, a chair and 3 people
Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...
Just kidding they're all dead.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
Then Stevie Wonder "says wait you can walk!" Then Hellen keller says "wait you can see!"
Then h**... says "wait you're still alive!"
And that's the story about how my bartender stopped doing drugs.
So Helen Keller walks into a Bar
And a table, and a chair
How do you tell Helen Keller a joke?
Not this way.
Hellen Keller walks into a bar
And a chair. And a table. And a wall.
Why can't Hellen Keller drive
Because she's dead
Did you know that Helen Keller had a cat?
Don't worry, she didn't know either.
A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller.
Because she's dead.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song Helen Keller .
Courtesy of my adult daughter onto which my 'dad humor' has clearly rubbed off!!
Why did Helen Keller not get the joke about the fishes ?
Because she didn't have aqueous humour
How did Helen Keller burn her fingertips?
She was trying to read the waffle iron.
A minister asked me, "Why do we spend hours on the internet but only minutes on our knees?"
I said "Golly!, reverend Keller, my boyfriend can't last that long.
Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a mountain?
Because she was wearing mittens
