Keith Jokes

43 keith jokes and hilarious keith puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about keith that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out this collection of Keith jokes from Keith Lemon, Keith Lard, and Keith Moon! Whether it's an inquiry from Richie or a response from Kathleen, you're sure to find a laugh with this fun compilation.

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Funniest Keith Short Jokes

Short keith jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The keith humour may include short comedic jokes also.

  1. Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future. Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did.
  2. Fidel Castro is dead Looks like Keith Richards and the Queen of England are moving on to the finals.
  3. Shocking results came in after Keith Richards went to the hospital. They found blood in his drugstream.
  4. It was reported that Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle, and Keith Moon just released a number of canines from the local pound It can now be said that The Who let the dogs out
  5. Keith Richards went to the hospital for a checkup today and the results were shocking. They found blood in his drugstream.
  6. Pete Townshend and Keith Moon were arrested last night after releasing 1000 pugs from a cosmetic company's testing facility. The Who let the dogs out.
  7. I before e Except for when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleigh from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.
  8. What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert? Lots of bad pickup lines.
  9. There once was a mouse called Keith Who did circumcisions for free with his teeth;
    He didn't do it for pleasure,
    Excitement or leisure...
    He did it for the cheese underneath.
  10. Every time you smoke a cigarette, God takes away 5 minutes of your life... and gives it to Keith Richards

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Keith One Liners

Which keith one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with keith? I can suggest the ones about magnificent and urban.

  1. What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
  2. What do you call a locksmith with a lisp? Keith
  3. What's Mike Tyson's locksmith called? Keith
  4. Prince Phillip Has Died... So now the Queen and Keith Richards move on to the Finals
  5. Since he is a country singer... Shouldn't Keith Urban's last name be Rural?
  6. Keith Richards is dead No one has told him that yet though.
  7. What did Orville say when Keith Harris died? Nothing.
  8. What does the sun do? It makes Keith sweat and Bobby brown
  9. If Keith Urban was an anti-hipster lawmaker what would he impose first? A Kefir Ban.
  10. Have you heard the song between Keith Urban and John Legend? No? Must be an Urban Legend.
  11. I'm leading the singing at Keith from the Prodigy's f**... I'm the choir starter
  12. I've been asked to lead the singing at Keith Flint's f**... I'm a choir starter

Keith joke, I've been asked to lead the singing at Keith Flint's f**...

Witty Keith Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about keith you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean performer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make keith pranks.

After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...

...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."

A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.

I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a p**...'.

m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.

Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When m**... swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.
A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.

A bass player dies and goes to h**...

when he gets there, he's surprised to find Keith Moon immediately greeting him.
Hey man, you've gotta join our band. We've got Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, and Im on drums
the bassist looks confused and says wait, this is h**... right? that sounds awesome!
well satan's got a girlfriend who sings

A woman went to buy a parrot from a pet shop

She found one for only £5. She took it to the shopkeeper, and asked if the price was right. The shopkeeper said "he's that price because he lived in a brothel for 3 years."
The woman thought that it would be fine, so bought the parrot.
When she got it home, the parrot looked around, saying things like:
"A chair, yes. Very fine very fine."
"A coffee machine. Very fine."
The woman's children walked in.
"Ah, children, very fine very fine."
The woman's husband walked in.
"Hello Keith"

Did you hear m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were attacked by a giant magpie?

Witnesses say one bird was trying to kill two Stones

m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house

They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no más."

Straight out of Popbitch...

You know I was invited to Keith Flint's (from the Prodigy) f**...? I'm supposed to lead the singing.

I'm the choir starter.

Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, and Keith Richards walk into a bar.

The bartender, local drug dealer, and in house p**... all get measured for a new suit

Keith Richards recently went to the doctor

They were surprised to have found traces of blood in his h**... stream.

What do you call m**... Jagger and Keith Richards both found dead with their eyes taped open in front of the TV?

Killing two Stones with one Birdbox.

*I'll show myself out...*

m**... Jagger and Keith Richards have a huge falling out after m**... refuses to stop talking in broken Spanish

When asked for comment, m**... replied "The Rolling Stones gather no mas."

Keith joke, What did Orville say when Keith Harris died?

jokes about keith