Witty Keith Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
Jim McGuinn and David Crosby found dead in apparent Double h**...
Jim McGuinn and David Crosby found dead in apparent Double h**..., one Keith Richards suspected.
It seems two Byrds were killed by one Stone.
What did Orville say when Keith Harris died?
Nothing.
Why do Marlboro cigarettes have white filters in America, but yellow filters in Europe?
So Keith Richards can tell which continent he's in.
Keith Ape makes his mother a sandwich.
Keith Ape makes his mother a sandwich.
She takes a bite and cries with joy.
"This is amazing! What kind of sandwich is this?" She asks.
"It cheese ma."
We Have to Take Care of Earth
We need to start thinking about what kind of world we're going to leave to Keith Richards.
After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...
...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."
Imagine if, in some fit of drug-induced rage back in the 60s, Keith Richards had killed David Crosby & Gram Parsons?
Talk about killing two byrds with one stone.
There once was a mouse called Keith
Who did circumcisions for free with his teeth;
He didn't do it for pleasure,
Excitement or leisure...
He did it for the cheese underneath.
What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert?
Lots of bad pickup lines.
What do Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music and Keith Richards have in common?
They both made habits fashionable.
Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future.
Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did.
You can explore keith kathleen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean keith robert dad jokes. There are also keith puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.
I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a p**...'.
Fidel Castro is dead
Looks like Keith Richards and the Queen of England are moving on to the finals.
In the recent news of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds both passing away...
...Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, has confirmed to still be alive.
Keith Richards is dead
No one has told him that yet though.
What do you call a locksmith with a lisp?
Keith
Since he is a country singer...
Shouldn't Keith Urban's last name be Rural?
It was reported that Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle, and Keith Moon just released a number of canines from the local pound
It can now be said that The Who let the dogs out
Why didn't Keith Richards succeed in gathering Kate Moss and Walt Mossberg for his charity?
A rolling stone...
Have you heard the song between Keith Urban and John Legend? No?
Must be an Urban Legend.
Keith Richards recently went to the doctor
They were surprised to have found traces of blood in his h**... stream.
What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?
The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
Every time you smoke a cigarette,
God takes away 5 minutes of your life... and gives it to Keith Richards
Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, and Keith Richards walk into a bar.
The bartender, local drug dealer, and in house p**... all get measured for a new suit
Shocking results came in after Keith Richards went to the hospital.
They found blood in his drugstream.
If Keith Urban was an anti-hipster lawmaker what would he impose first?
A Kefir Ban.
What does the sun do?
It makes Keith sweat and Bobby brown
What do you call m**... Jagger and Keith Richards both found dead with their eyes taped open in front of the TV?
Killing two Stones with one Birdbox.
*I'll show myself out...*
I've been asked to lead the singing at Keith Flint's f**...
I'm a choir starter
Straight out of Popbitch...
You know I was invited to Keith Flint's (from the Prodigy) f**...? I'm supposed to lead the singing.
I'm the choir starter.
I'm leading the singing at Keith from the Prodigy's f**...
I'm the choir starter
m**... Jagger and Keith Richards have a huge falling out after m**... refuses to stop talking in broken Spanish
When asked for comment, m**... replied "The Rolling Stones gather no mas."
Did you hear m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were attacked by a giant magpie?
Witnesses say one bird was trying to kill two Stones
A bass player dies and goes to h**...
when he gets there, he's surprised to find Keith Moon immediately greeting him.
Hey man, you've gotta join our band. We've got Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, and Im on drums
the bassist looks confused and says wait, this is h**... right? that sounds awesome!
well satan's got a girlfriend who sings
Pete Townshend and Keith Moon were arrested last night after releasing 1000 pugs from a cosmetic company's testing facility.
The Who let the dogs out.
Prince Phillip Has Died...
So now the Queen and Keith Richards move on to the Finals
m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.
Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When m**... swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.
A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.
I before e
Except for when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.
m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house
They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no más."
What's Mike Tyson's locksmith called?
Keith
Keith Richards went to the hospital for a checkup today and the results were shocking.
They found blood in his drugstream.
A woman went to buy a parrot from a pet shop
She found one for only £5. She took it to the shopkeeper, and asked if the price was right. The shopkeeper said "he's that price because he lived in a brothel for 3 years."
The woman thought that it would be fine, so bought the parrot.
When she got it home, the parrot looked around, saying things like:
"A chair, yes. Very fine very fine."
"A coffee machine. Very fine."
The woman's children walked in.
"Ah, children, very fine very fine."
The woman's husband walked in.
"Hello Keith"
