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Keeping Cool Jokes

63 keeping cool jokes and hilarious keeping cool puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about keeping cool that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Keeping Cool Short Jokes

Short keeping cool jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The keeping cool humour may include short staying cool jokes also.

  1. Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me?
    Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!
  2. A propeller is actually just a big fan to keep the pilot cool... when it stops you can watch the pilot start sweating
  3. Green chameleon for sale... No, a red one.
    No, blue.
    No wait, a pink one.
    Cool.
    Never mind, I'm keeping it!
  4. My medication says to store it in a cool, dark place. So I keep it in a jazz club in Harlem.
  5. Did you know... ...that the prop on the front of a plane is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actully see the pilot sweating.
  6. I don't get why women keep complaining about this "glass ceiling" Where I work we have this cool glass floor, though.
  7. What is the point of a propeller on a plane? It keeps the pilot cool. If you see it stop, and you will start to see him sweat
  8. A man went viral after making a TikTok video describing how to keep cool without any air conditioning. He has a lot of fans.
  9. Sports Enthusiasts I got hired by my local baseball team to keep the players cool in the locker room. It was a difficult job because I'm not a fan.
  10. TIL the propeller on a plane is a fan to keep the pilot cool When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating!

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Keeping Cool One Liners

Which keeping cool one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with keeping cool? I can suggest the ones about stay cool and playing it cool.

  1. There's a cool hidden feature on Tinder Keep on swiping right and girls get fatter
  2. Why do they have the A/C on so cold in hospitals? To keep the vegetables nice and cool.
  3. Where do Arctic Monkeys store their food to keep it cool. Indie fridge.
  4. Why did the hipster shave off his beard? To keep cool during the summer…
  5. Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh
  6. My roommate keeps taking my bottle of water out of the refrigerator It's not cool man
  7. Always keep your cool when painting the house. No need to get emulsional.
  8. How does Rapunzel keep cool in the summer? She uses her hAIR conditioner!
  9. My friend asked why I hate trying to keep them cool in the summer. Im just not a fan.
  10. How do polar bears keep cool during the summer? They turn on their *bear* conditioning
  11. How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? They use bear conditioning!
  12. I had a beard before it was cool. Even though it's getting warmer, I think I'll keep it.

Keeping Cool Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about keeping cool you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean keeping warm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make keeping cool pranks.

A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico.


"Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box."
His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary.
"That's not all," says the doctor.
"You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"

Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?"
Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it."
Doctor: "Why?"
Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"

COWBOY WHISPERER

Cowboy: "That your dog?"
Indian: "Yep."
Cowboy: "Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (Pointing at the Indian...)
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes
me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Indian...)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down
often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather........"
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep lie..... "

Mittens keeping it cool.

A man dies, goes to heaven, stands before St. Peter, and see a huge wall of clocks. The man asks what all the clocks are for and St. Peter explains, "These are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."
Pointing to one, the man says, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," St. Peter answers. "The hands have never moved, indicating she never told a lie."
"Incredible," the man responds. "And whose clock is that?"
St. Peter responds, "That's Abraham Lincoln's. The hands moved twice telling us he told two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Mitt Romney's clock?" the man asks.
"Romney's clock is in Jesus' office," St. Peter says. "He's using it as a ceiling fan."

So one time this chick is going down on me,

and I give her the "courtesy tap" because I'm about to blow. She just keeps on going and I'm like, "I hit the jackpot here!" So I finish, and she leans back and picks up a glass off the coffee table and spits in it.
I was like, "Wow, that was *hot*.
She says, "Well, I don't s**...."
I say, "Well, that'd be weird if you told me you were waitin' for it to cool off.."
Stole it from somebody way funnier than me.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his 'lightsaber' attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, filled Luke in on a little secret. Princess Leah is Luke's sister! Luke was obviously distraught! Freaking out, he went to find his master, Obi Wan Kenobi. Luke said to him, "Master Obi Wan! My beautiful wife is my sister! What do I do?!"
Master Kenobi, keeping his cool, looked his apprentice in the eye and said, "Luke, use divorce."

Speeding motorist

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Nice car

When a man saw new cool BMW car of his boss he was amazed:
- Wow! Nice car, - said worker to his boss.
- Well, - said boss, - keep working and next year I will have another, better car)))
PS sorry for mistakes, I'm not English.

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer and drank it

Suddenly he heard a voice...
"Nice tie." *Nobody was there except him and the bartender.*
"Really cool shirt, too." *He thought he must be losing his mind.*
"I like your hair that way."
He said to the bartender, "I keep hearing this voice."
"Those are the peanuts, sir. They're complimentary."

Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day.

How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool.

Flamingos are disgusting. They pee on their legs to keep cool.

Just like everything else in Florida.

What's the purpose of propellers on a plane?

To keep the captain cool.
If they stop spinning, he starts to sweat.

A college student sends a letter to his folks back home

Dear Mom and Dad,

**$**chool i**$** really great. I am making lot**$** of friend**$** and **$**tudying very hard. My profe**$$**or**$** are al**$**o **$**uper cool! With all my **$**tuff, I **$**imply can't think of anything I need, **$**o if you would like, you can ju**$**t **$**end me a card, a**$** I would love to hear from you. Mi**$$** you guy**$**!
Love,
Your **$**on
- - - - - - -
Dear Son,
I k**NO**w that astro**NO**my, eco**NO**mics, and ocea**NO**graphy are e**NO**ugh to keep even an h**...**NO**r student busy. Do **NO**t forget that the pursuit of k**NO**wledge is a **NO**ble task, and you can never study e**NO**ugh.
Love,
Mom and Dad

A man is verbally abusive to his wife, but

she always keeps her cool.
He asks her "I'm always so abusive to you, how come you're always so calm?"
"I scrub the toilet" his wife replies
"I don't get it?!" He says
"I use your toothbrush"

A couple had a big argument in the car. They didn't talk to each other then entire trip.

They passed a farm with pigs, in which the husband saw an opportunity to break the ice.
"Look, those must be your relatives"
The lady, keeping her cool, replied "In-laws"

People are always asking me how to keep cool at a football game in Australia...

It's always important to sit that next to a big fan

A drunk n**... woman boards a cab

Driver of the cab keeps staring at her and does not start the cab.
Woman: Haven't you ever seen a n**... woman before?
Cab Driver: Cool down, Ma'am. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering as to where you have kept the money to pay me?
This is what most financial institutions fail to do - Assessing repayment capacity before enjoying exposure.

While on location for weeks in arctic Siberia, writing a piece for National Geographic, my brother randomly showed up to keep me company.

It really helped having a cool story bro.

Man, people in LA have been so nice the last two days...

... they keep telling me at work , aren't you hot and stay cool!

"What is the propeller on the plane for?"

"It's to keep the pilot cool" said the flight instructor.
"I don't think so", replies the kid.
"If you take off the propeller you will see the pilot sweating"

When asked how he keeps his cool under pressure...

The bomb squad captain said "either I'm right or it's not my problem anymore."

I convinced my son if he didn't try to keep me cool during Summer he wouldn't be written into my will...

Apparently I'm now a bad father simply for wanting some heir conditioning.

I just bought a new hat...

...with a built-in fan that keeps my head cool during hot weather.
It really blows my mind.

There were 4 henchmen: Winter, Summer, Spring, and Autumn.

The boss stood before them.
"Winter," he began. "I need you to stay cool in the face of pressure. Ice in your veins," he said, patting his shoulder.
"Then there's you, Summer," he continued. "If the heat becomes too much for Winter, use that hot temper of yours to make sure the cops remember who they're working for.
"As for you, Spring," he chuckled, "this operation is gonna bring in a lotta *green.* Make sure that it keeps growing."
He turned for the door as Autumn stood up.
"Boss!" he sputtered. "What about me?"
The boss turned back, shaking his head.
"Sorry, son. You're just the Fall guy."

A college student writes a letter to his parents back home.

Dear Mom and Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. My profe$$or$ are al$o $uper cool! With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Mi$$ you guy$!
Love, Your $on
They reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Mom and Dad

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer and drank it until suddenly he heard a voice.

Voice: *Nice tie.*
The man looked around. Nobody was there except him and the bartender.
Voice: *Really cool shirt, too.*
The man was concerned. He thought he must be losing his mind.
Voice: *I like your hair like that!*
Finally concerned, the man said to the bartender, "I keep hearing this voice."
The bartender replied, Those are the peanuts, sir. They're complimentary.

I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee.

I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly.
At the window, there was a delay.
Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated.
"I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting."

So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the a**..., and walks in to have a stiff drink.

The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the a**... before coming in? You got s**... all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps with chapped lips?"
"Nah," says the cowboy. "But it keeps me from lickin' 'em"

Speeder

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But, officer" the man began "I can explain"
"Just be quiet" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."