Keep Jokes

• Short Keep Jokes
• Keep One Liners
• Keep Warm Jokes
• Keep You Warm Jokes
• Keep Smiling Jokes
• Keep Calm Jokes
• More Keep Jokes

Funniest Keep Short Jokes

Short keep jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The keep humour may include short jokes also.

1. If i had a dime for every time i didn't understand what's going on. I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
2. America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona By keeping the first one going
3. My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution Could this be a red flag?
4. I trapped a couple of vegans in my basement. At least I think they're vegan. They keep shouting 'lettuce leaf!'
5. Harry Potter has way too many characters... Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.
   
6. My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water" I know he means well...
7. My wife says we should split up because I keep pretending I'm a detective I said good idea, we can cover more ground that way
8. My girl keeps having disturbed dream, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!". Always Tolkien in her sleep...
9. A lumberjack once told me he's cut down 27,572 trees. How do ya know exactly how many? I inquired.
   Easy. I keep a log.
10. My boss said to me, "you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?" I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."

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Keep One Liners

Which keep one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with keep? I can suggest the ones about and .

1. What do you call a thief who keeps the things he stole on public display? British
2. The furniture store keeps calling me back..... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
3. Where did noah keep his bees? In the ark hives
4. To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night: I'm not letting you out.
5. An atom loses an electron... It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
6. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Not sure, the guy never told me!
7. "Dad, I don't want to go visit Grandma" "Shut up, and keep digging"
8. My wife has a body of a 12 year old.. She keeps it in the fridge.
9. My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can't. I'm on a roll now
10. What's the toughest thing about being a vegan? Apparently, keeping it to yourself.
11. Where does Obama keep his armies? In the Baracks.
12. What does "IDK" mean? I keep asking people, but they don't know either.
13. Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys? Aisle B, back.
14. My girlfriend says I treat her like an object. I don't know why it keeps saying that.
15. Why are gay people bad liars? They can't keep a straight face

Keep Warm Jokes

Here is a list of funny keep warm jokes and even better keep warm puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for a night set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life
• Why do prostitutes love wearing underwear Because it keeps their ankles warm
• I love throwing house warming parties But for some reason the police keep calling it 'Arson'.
• Why do ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers? To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it
• How does the winter solstice keep warm at night? It curls up with a cozy cloud blanket and a cup of hot cocoa.
• How do snowmen keep their heads warm during the winter solstice? They wear "ice" caps!
• Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.
• How do you keep warm in cold room? You go to the corner, cause it's always 90 degrees
• Give a man fire... ...keep him warm for a day
  Set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.
• Why do Yugo's have heated rear windows? To keep the owner's hands warm when they are pushing it!

Keep You Warm Jokes

Here is a list of funny keep you warm jokes and even better keep you warm puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did the sorority girl wear underwear? To keep her ankles warm.
• How do you always keep yourself warm? Go to the corner - it's always 90 degrees!
• A knitted afghan can be a good accent piece that can also keep you warm... That's just a blanket statement.
• Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? To keep his ankles warm.
• How do you keep paint warm? Put on a second coat
• What do Mexican people use to keep warm? Faheaters.
• The new Ford F-150 comes with a heated tailgate. That way you can keep your hands warm when you're pushing it home in the winter.
• Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear? To keep his ankles warm.
• How do teenage boys keep warm? Jackit
• My buddy takes his date's jacket to keep warm if it's cold... And they say shivering is dead.

Keep Smiling Jokes

Here is a list of funny keep smiling jokes and even better keep smiling puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why do gay people smile so much? It's hard for them to keep a straight face.
• why do gay people always smile? Because they can't keep a straight face
• Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened Unless it didn't happen then keep on crying
• On my cake day, a joke that always makes me smile: Where did the General keep his armies? In his sleevies!
• Why are gay people always smiling? They can't seem to keep a straight face!
• Keep Smile!!! Life is Short, Smile While You Still Have Teeth
• What you have when you keep crashing drones but always with a smile on your face? Downsyndrone
• Why are g**... always smiling? Because they can't keep a *straight* face.

Keep Calm Jokes

Here is a list of funny keep calm jokes and even better keep calm puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Keeping tropical fish at home can have a truly calming effect on the brain. Due to all the indoor fins.
• Why does keeping tropical fish in your home have a calming effect on the brain? Because of the indoor fins.
• I keep having this reoccurring dream Every night I dream I'm constantly changing between being a teepee and a wigwam. I went to the doctor and he told me "Calm down kid, you're two tents.".
• What did the database admin say when he recovered a corrupted database? Keep calm and query on.
• If you think you have telekinetic powers like Carrie White's then you should ... Keep calm and NOT Carrie ON ....!
• One of my friends was struggling with exponents in math class today I told him
  "It's ok, just keep calm and you won't have an exponent-al crisis."
• Keep Calm and… NO!!!
  If you keep calm, you will never be a Super Saiyan!!!
• Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on ? Because they carry guns instead
• Keep Calm And... beat a dead horse.
• What does Marshawan l**... use to keep himself calm before the big game? Marsh-Mellows

Keep Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about keep you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make keep pranks.