Cheerful Fun Keen Jokes for Lovely Laughter
I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until
I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!
So a man walks into a psychiatrists office...
wearing nothing by saran wrap. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says, "well, I can clearly see you're nuts!"
edited for spelling, thanks for edfitz83 keen eye ;)
I was watching the Super Bowl with some friends...
and my fiancee's friend, who isn't very keen on sports, is commenting on the shoe polish streaks under their eyes.
She says "I just don't get it, what do those black things even do?"
I reply, "Well, play football, mostly."
It's a fair notion to suggest that I'm quite keen on o**... contraceptives.
I asked a girl to have s**... with my one night.
She said "No."
Oscar Pistorius was keen to get a new bathroom door....
but his girlfriend was dead against it.
Source: Scorch-O-Rama cafe, Wellington, New Zealand
So my close friends kid wanted to be Batman.
So a murdered his parents after giving them tickets to the opera.
He doesn't seem so keen now.
Went to my first fight Club tonight, was so much fun, got there a bit late so I missed the first bit of induction. But wow was it fun! Anyone who is keen or wants to know more, hit me up for details!
My Wife won't like it
One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"
"Its Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.
"Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty, very s**... and persuasive... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart!"
A group of primary school students were participating in a local spelling bee.
A keen young boy steps before the judges and is told, "Your word is spider."
Not quite sure as to how to spell it, the boy asks, "Could you please use it in a sentence?"
A judge replies, "A spider has eight eyes."
The boy then states, "S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R."
Why were the Greeks, Serbs and Croats not to keen on joining up with Bismarck?
They'd still be under a man named Otto.
h**... was a keen golfer.....
He even wrote a book on it, it was titled 'How to get out of a bunker with one shot.'
You can explore keen urged reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean keen farmers dad jokes. There are also keen puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.
he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.
I'm not keen on Neanderthal comedy.
It's very low-brow humour.
Why is Trump so keen to stay with the queen in the UK?
He heard she has golden bathrooms and can't wait to try out the showers.
Went to a restaurant with Brutus
He wasn't keen on the Caesar. But he still et tu.
What do United Airlines and the UK have in common?
They're both keen on removing locals from their seats, and appointing new people in their places.
"Right, I've been thinking." I said to the oncologist. "I'm not keen on radiotherapy or chemotherapy. At this stage I think it would be best to just let the disease take its natural course."
My wife's eyes filled with tears, "We should've discussed this together."
"My minds made up." I insisted.
"I think your wife is right." Said the consultant. "After all, she is the one with cancer."
My friend is a keen poker player
He recently lost his arm in a car accident - They've given him a prosthetic but he's finding it really hard to deal with.
What do you call a keen Russian?
Igor
As the photographer snapped pictures, I posed provocatively and gave my most s**... looks to the camera, even grabbing my c**... for effect! I felt wild and sensual and free...
I went over to the computer to see the results, as I was keen to see if they had captured the essence of my being.
"I guess so." growled the officer. "Now let's go stand for the police lineup and then we'll be done here."
I decided to get a toupee.
But I know my missus is not keen on the idea, so for now I'm going to keep it under my hat.
I was peeing the other day, and my girlfriend said "were you eating asparagus?"
She has a keen sense of taste.
I asked my wife what three things she finds most irritating.
She said, "well, I really dislike Sunday drivers. I'm not particularly keen on loud, abnoixious children. But mostly, I really hate it when I have to repeat myself!"
"Oh, yeah, absolutely!" I replied, "You can say that again."
I wasn't too keen on the idea of growing a moustache for movember.
but it really seems to be growing on me.
This bellboy at this hotel must be really keen for his tips...
...I asked him for a deck of playing cards and it took 52 trips to get them to me.
Someone asked me if I had ever noticed that I had a keen sense for being able to tell where water was underground...
I replied, "I'm well aware."
A couple of friends are holding a joint party for Chinese New Year and Burns Night called Chinese-Burns Night
I wasn't keen but they twisted my arm...
Why does Donald Trump print his emails?
He's never been keen on fax
Why is Trump so keen to stop counting votes?
His advisers are rushin...
