The Funniest Katie Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
So Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom Cruise...
Apparently she found out that he'd been in A Few Good Men.
Sunday Morning s**...
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the d**...." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
A teacher asks her class
to use the word "contagious". Roland, the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."
"Well done, Roland," says the teacher.
"Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"
Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."
Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price
I learned this on a price comparison site.
People make mistakes
That's why a pencil has an eraser and Katie has gonorrhea
What do Iron Man and Katie Price have in common?
They have both had a Downey Junior Inside of them
- Mum, mum!
- Yes, Katie, what's going on?
- Can an 8 year old girl become pregnant?
- No. Of course not
- Hooray!!
The Cleveland Browns visited an orphanage last week after their loss.
"It was so sad to see all the pain and hurt in their eyes." Said Katie, age 7.
Ever notice how strippers' last names are always things they can't afford?
Like Katie Diamond, or Sugar Health-Insurance
I once dated a girl with a twin and people would asked how I could tell them apart.
It's really easy. Katie liked to be on top whether Bernie didn't mind either way.
Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?
She got tired of all that Cruise control.
You can explore katie johnny reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean katie rachel dad jokes. There are also katie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Who reads the news AND makes coffee?
Katie Keurig.
(I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)
What cold and fits anywhere
Katie Hopkins.
Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?
She heard he was in a few good men.
Katie Perry's halftime show
was the only time a Lion will be in the Superbowl!
Katie Price's first task in Celebrity....
Katie Price's first task in Celebrity Big Brother is to not get pregnant or married in the next three weeks.
Celebrity Big Brother viewing figures have already increased by 800k since Katie Price entered the house.
That's because all her ex's are now watching.
Bill Cosby has finally agreed to an interview to discuss the accusations of r**....
He invited Katie Couric up to his hotel room for a quick drink and a chat.
What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?
"I make my own dough".
My sister Katie came up with this one.
Katie Price and o**... Bin Laden have topped a poll of most unpopular people to sit next to on a plane,
but to be fair, with either one a b**... is guaranteed.
