Karl Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Why does Karl Marx write in lowercase?

He hates capitalism

Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?

Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes

Why does Karl Marx hate earl grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

There's a Russian gay couple...

One of them is called Vladislav, the other is called Karl. After happily loving each other for a fair few years, Karl discovers Vladislav is having an affair with Vladimir.

Devastated, Karl gets onto his knees in front of Vladislav and bellows:

"VLADISLAV? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!"

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

Which kid?

Wife: Honey, i think you don't love our kids equally. It seems you have one that gets less love from you.

Husband: Really? Which kid do you mean? Karl, Tina or the fat one

Karl Marx College is a total scam

there aren't even any classes!

Why does Karl Marx only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft!

Why didn't Karl Marx drink Earl Gray?

All proper tea is theft.

Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

Miley Cyrus's VMA preformance...

Was so classless Karl Marx came in his grave

What do you call a communist dog?

Karl Barx

Shout-out to "Matt & Tom" for that 😊

George W. Bush and Karl Rove are talking...

Karl Rove walks into the Oval Office and says "Mr. President, I have some bad news. Four Brazilian soldiers died yesterday in Iraq" The president buries his head in his hands, crying "no! No! No! That's awful, that's terrible...." He pauses, collects himself, and says "wait.... How many is a Brazilian?"

Apparently Karl Marx didn't like JOKES....

Edit-oops ..my bad..he just didn't like them capitalized.

Marx as a Student

In University, Karl Marx's Political Economics professor noted that every day, the young man would get up halfway through class and walk out, which caused a good deal of disruption. The professor quickly grew tired of the daily distraction, and so one day, as Marx stood up and prepared to leave, the professor stopped lecturing and turned to him.

"I am curious, Mr. Marx, what it is about my teaching you find so intolerable that you cannot sit through more than half of any given lecture."

Karl looked surprised for a moment, but quickly understood what the problem was, and said, "Oh, no, sir, it's nothing like that. See, I have a class on "Proletariat ideology" that starts in five minutes, and I'll be dropped from the course if I'm late."

The professor was confused. "You mean to tell me that the University registered you for two courses during the same time?"

"Yes, sir," Marx responded. "So it's nothing personal. Just a class conflict."

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.

Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

The Study Conducted by the German Scientist

Okay this isn't really a joke but it's kind of interesting, especially if you like dogs. In 1998 a German researcher by the name of Dr. Karl Wagner conducted a study on the agility of dogs. One hundred male dogs and one hundred females dogs each ran a series of increasingly difficult obstacle courses. Dr. Wagner observed that the female dogs would frequently stumble when trying to jump the high bar, whereas the males dogs had little trouble with this part of the course. After carefully analyzing the data, double checking his results, and comparing his findings against earlier studies, Dr. Wagner concluded that bitches be trippin'.

Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

Two whales walk into a bar...

The first whale says oooOOOOoOooOOoOoooOOOOoOoOOOooooOo

The second whale says: "Karl you're drunk!"

If Karl Marx made a contraceptive company

Would it's slogan be seize the means of reproduction?

Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why did Karl Marx drink mint tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much?

Because they did not have proper tea.

What's the difference between Karl Marx and Donald Trump?

Trump only advocates the seizing of a *woman's* means of production

Why does Karl Marx like stormy days?

There are no classes.

I was thinking about going to the grave of Karl Marx

But then I heard it was just another communist plot.

Karl Marx's Grave

It's just a Communist plot

I visited Karl Marx's grave in London yesterday.

It was just another Communist plot.

Why was Karl Marx arrested for brewing a cup of Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why was Karl Marx against Chinese mutes?

Because he hated the Bù shuō!

Who's your favourite fantasy author?

Mine is Karl Marx

Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

Karl Marx passed away and went to hell...

After some days, Lucifer, caretaker of the hell met with Angel, who take care of Heaven. Yes, they meet sometimes in the corridors of heavenly worlds! Today Lucifer was gloomy. When Angel asked about his sadness, Lucifer replied. "There is a new guy in hell named Karl Marx. He created all kinds of trouble in Hell. Now employee demons are striking and day-to-day work is not functioning in hell. Now there is a union for demons!" To this angel replied "Why don't you consider sending him to Heaven for sometime? May be I can make him change his ways." Lucifer agreed to this but warned Angel that Marx is a difficult guy to convince. Max went to the heaven. After some days Lucifer met Angel in the corridor.

Lucifer: "How is it with Karl Marx? Is there any trouble in Heaven?" Angel: "Trouble? There is no trouble! He is absolutely fine in Heaven! Keep him there itself" Replied Angel with a cheerful face. Lucifer got worried. He can't keep Marx for long in the Heaven because God desn't know about this transfer.

Lucifer: "But..we can't keep him there. What will god say if he comes to know about this!"
Angel: "God? Isn't that a bourgeoisie concept, Comrade?!"

Karl Marx walks into a bar

The punchline gets progressively better over time

What did Karl Marx put on his noodles?

Communist Manipesto

Hear about the famous Philosopher Karl?

He died Jung

Why did Karl Marx hate classical music?

Because of the violins inherant in the system

I went and saw the new Karl Marx Brothers play...

It was a physical comedy where everyone falls down the same flight of steps and gets an equivalent amount laughs.

Wrote a joke.

I wrote this joke- Where does Frankenstein's automobile go to rest..?
Boris' Karl loft.

What do Karl Marx and the founder of Linux have in common?

Both of them hate classes.

Karl Urban stars in a mediocre film in the outskirts of a city

It it suburban.

What is Karl Marx's favorite console?

The Wii

What's the most influental animal rights philosopher?

Karl Barx

Austria, mid-1950s

Once upon a time in an Austrian elementary school, the children were preparing for the school play. This year it was about classical musicians. The teacher asked some students who they'd like to portray in the production. Hans wanted to be Mozart, Johan wanted to be Beethoven, and Karl wanted to be Brahms. When little Arnold was asked, he replied "I'll be Bach!"

What are the funniest karl jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Karl? Well, here are the best Karl puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Karl pick up lines to share with friends.

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