Kardashian Jokes
87 kardashian jokes and hilarious kardashian puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kardashian that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Kanye West, Khloe Kardashian, and Lamar Odom have been fodder for plenty of jokes as they've become some of the most talked about celebrities in the news. Read how SNL's Pete Davidson took his jabs and turned them into laughs with his Kardashian jokes.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Kardashian Short Jokes
Short kardashian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kardashian humour may include short celebrity jokes also.
- How did kim kardashian tell her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye? North, things between West and I have gone South.
- As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season... I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.
- Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...
And slightly to the left... - What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian? The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.
- What do Kim Kardashian and hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.
- Egyptian babies didn't know that one day their daddy would become a mummy Neither did the kardashians
- [All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish.
- Has Kim Kardashian Broken The Internet? I'm not sure if Kim Kardashian has actually managed to 'break the internet', but she's certainly put a big crack in it!
- How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but it just lays there while Ray J does all the work. - So far, more Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola. And the Ebola victims suffered less.
Share These Kardashian Jokes With Friends
Kardashian One Liners
Which kardashian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kardashian? I can suggest the ones about kim kardashian and remake.
- How did kanye west ask Kim Kardashian to marry him ?? "will i marry you?"
- Just had a coffee and it was so black and rich, a Kardashian just tried to sleep with it.
- When the Kardashians die, they won't be buried or cremated. They'll be recycled.
- Kim Kardashian, pitbull and Amy Schumer walk into a bar. They set it lower.
- What do you call the Kardashian family taking a swim in the ocean? pollution
- How long could a Kardashian survive in the wild? Forever. Plastic is not biodegradable.
- Which store do the Kardashians put most of their time and energy into? Photoshop
- What do the Egyptians and Kardashians have in common? Their daddies became mummies
- Why can't the Kardashians swim at the beach? Because plastic is bad for the ocean.
- What do male deer and the Kardashians have in common? Every year, they get a new rack
- What do you call Kim Kardashian's cleavage? The silicon valley
- How does Kanye make Kim Kardashian's eyes twinkle? He shines a flashlight in her ear.
- How is Kim Kardashian similar to dough? Both are very kneady.
Also yeast, lots of yeast. - I was going to write a joke about Kim kardashian's orifices, but they've all been done.
- Why would we need to keep up with the Kardashians? We're already way ahead of them.
Kim Kardashian Jokes
Here is a list of funny kim kardashian jokes and even better kim kardashian puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the media say about Kim Kardashian swimming There's too much plastic in our oceans.
- What do Phil Swift and Kim Kardashian have in common? They're only famous because of a tape.
- Kim Kardashian as First Lady
- What do Kim Kardashian and drug smugglers have in common? False bottoms
- Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are divorcing. After naming their kids after directions they're the ones going south.
- If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled. - Kim Kardashian... Kim Kardashian was kidnapped and held at gun point, it took some time but they finally got a few million dollars together to get rid of her....
- After seeing the Kim Kardashian cover of Paper Magazine, Sir Mix-a-lot, reportedly tipped his hat, muttered that his work here was done and rocketed into space to return to his home planet Uranus...
- What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and the moon? You actually have to put in some effort to see the moon's backside.
- Why is it so wrong that Kim Kardashian is the most photographed woman on the internet? Because the end never justifies the memes.
Howlingly Hilarious Kardashian Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about kardashian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean celeb jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kardashian pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?
One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?
They both got famous for getting a black man off.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what was the biggest travesty to come out of the OJ Simpson m**... Trial?
It made Kardashian a house-hold name.
Kim Kardashian arrives in India for the first time, she walks out of the airport, and to her surprise, everyone on the streets stops, turns towards her, and kneels in humility and reverence
Little did she know, they worship cows over there!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kim Kardashian getting 6 million dollars stolen is a lot like if I got the c**... that's been in my wallet since I was 12 stolen...
Am I gonna miss it? Yeah.
Was I gonna use it? No.
What's the Difference Between America and "Keeping Up With the Kardashians"?
I don't even know at this point...
The Kardashians are all in a rocket set to launch, you can press a button to stop the launch.
Would you order a cheese or pepperoni pizza?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a t**... say when about to kill Kim Kardashian's Husband?
Death to the West!
(Sorry if this is a repost, if so I'll remove it)
Shout out to the Kardashians,
Who are undoubtedly having a tough time deciding what to get their father for Mother's Day.
I was flipping through my TV Guide and I saw a show called "Die Kardashians". I thought I had found a new favorite TV show...
Then I realized the channel was in German.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Kim Kardashian use to fix holes?
s**...-Tape
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When Kim Kardashian dies...
Will she be put in a grave or melted along with the rest of the plastic?
Kylie Jenner just named her newborn baby daughter Stormi
I think the Kardashian family is trying to have a weather forecast for her kids, because it's going to be Stormi in North West Chicago with a chance of Reign.
If Robert Kardashian hadn't gotten OJ off,
eventually one of his daughters would have.
An alien walks into a human brain shop
Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't get why so many people want to date a Kardashian
If I wanted to date a plastic chick I'd get a s**... doll
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hope that when Kim Kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn't swim.
The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can a Kardashian never drown?
They're always way too shallow.
What's the difference between the ocean and the Kardashians?
There's less plastic in the ocean.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the difference between an ancient Egyptian Prince and a Kardashian?
The Egyptian knew from the start that their daddy would become a mummy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The kardashians shouldn't be allowed to swim
We don't need even more plastic in the ocean
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a pirate say when he gets close to shore and sees a kardashian?
Land h**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Santa say when he dropped down the chimney at the kardashians?
h**... h**... h**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When you wake up and think life s**....
But at least my name is not North Kardashian West
The Kardashians go for a swim in the pacific ocean
The percentage of plastic in the ocean increases by 400%.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hope the Kardashians don't go to the beach this year.
All we need is more plastic in the ocean.
It was smart to use Khloe Kardashian in those ads for migraine medication.
I know that not all people that have migraines watch the Kardashians, but everyone who watches the Kardashians has migraines.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do the Kardashians and the beach have in common ?
The both contain a bunch of plastic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Cardassian and a Kardashian?
One is a vicious, opportunistic race, bent on subjugation and d**... through whatever insidious and ethically-questionable means they have at hand.
The other is a fictional race from Star Trek.
