Karate Jokes

106 karate jokes and hilarious karate puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about karate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy these funny Karate jokes and puns about martial arts and karate kids. Laugh out loud at jokes about karate animals, Christmas karate, Chuck Norris karate, Mann Kickin and Wai. There's something for everyone!

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Funniest Karate Short Jokes

Short karate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The karate humour may include short martial arts jokes also.

  1. Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves. Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
  2. I warn you not to mess with me! I know Karate, Judo, Aikido, Jiujitsu and 22 other japanese words.
  3. My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
  4. I defeated our local chess champion in less than three moves ... Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.
  5. I decided to teach karate to my neighbors kid He was enthusiastic for the first two days but then quit before he could finish painting the fences
  6. Someone was handing out certificates for a free Karate Lesson at the mall yesterday He told me I could only Taek Won Do
  7. What's the difference between karate and judo?
    Karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of.
  8. What do you call a pig who knows karate? Pork chop
  9. What's the difference between Karate and Judo? Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.
  10. Whats the american version of a karate chop? A Connecti Cut!

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Karate One Liners

Which karate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with karate? I can suggest the ones about kung fu and judo.

  1. What do you call an amputee trying to do karate? Partial Arts.
  2. I beat a black belt at karate. My next challenger is a green sock.
  3. What do you call a 1 armed man who does karate? a Partial artist
  4. I defeated a state chess champion in two moves My karate lessons really paid off.
  5. What do you call someone with no legs doing Karate? Partial Arts.
  6. What do you call an amputee learning karate? Partial arts
  7. What do you call a sheep that does karate Lamb Chop
  8. What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop.
  9. What is it called when an amputee does karate? Partial Arts
  10. I know kung fu, tae kwan do, ninjitsu, karate, tia chi... and a few other asian words.
  11. I know Karate... ...And like two other Japanese words.
  12. I beat a black belt at karate My next opponent is a red sock
  13. How does the Karate Kid pleasure himself? Wax off
  14. If Eminem did karate... His next album would be Marshall Arts
  15. What do you call a paraplegic who does karate? Partial Arts.

Karate Kid Jokes

Here is a list of funny karate kid jokes and even better karate kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does the karate kid do in his free time? He wax off
  • Netflix announced another karate kid spinoff, this time the dojo trains insufferable whiney entitled children. It's called cobra Caillou.
  • Russian karate kid be like: Smirn on, Smirn off. Smirn on, Smirn off...
  • My wife says it's time I stop pretending to be The Karate Kid. I had to put my foot down.
  • What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid? Jacks on Jacks off
  • Why didn't the Congolese karate Kid didn't want to play against the Belgian one ? He heard the Belgian had some hand-chopping moves up his sleeve.
  • Have you ever seen the karate kid backwards? It's a movie about a karate champ that slowly becomes more and more of a oudsy until he finally moved back to Jersey.
  • What move does the karate kid practice the most? He wax off everyday
  • The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
  • What's a karate kid's favorite sweet? Taekwondonuts

Karate Animal Jokes

Here is a list of funny karate animal jokes and even better karate animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
    A: A pork chop.
Karate joke

Christmas Karate Jokes

Here is a list of funny christmas karate jokes and even better christmas karate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There was a man who became the karate champion on Christmas Day... So he decided to go by the name, "The Nutcracker."
Karate joke, There was a man who became the karate champion on Christmas Day...

Happy Karate Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about karate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jiu jitsu jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make karate pranks.

Why do indie kids s**... at karate?

They never got past the white belt.

I came last in a karate competition yesterday

I was k**... myself!

Have you seen the new karate opera?

Critics are calling it sensei-tional.

What do you call it when a deer knows karate?


Started teaching my son and his friends Karate...

I'm not qualified I just really enjoy k**... children.

I used to think my Karate instructor was very wise.

However, yesterday my pregnant neighbour Mrs. Wong and her husband rushed to hospital.
When they came back today they had the baby with them so I figured I'd go say hi.
Strangest thing! The baby is Caucasian!
I couldn't believe my eyes, this whole time my instructor had been lying to me; two Wongs DO make a white!

A Chinese guy walks into a bar...

A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :
• My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?
• Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?
• No, it's because you are drinking my beer.

My cousin, who's a karate expert, joined the Army.

First time he saluted he nearly killed himself.

My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end.

The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed k**... children.

The karate student kept killing all his teachers...

I guess he became desenseitized

Mexican self defense

A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...

I went to my favorite bar last night.

A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said "no, because you're drinking my beer".

TIFU by joining the army when I'm already a karate champ

Nearly killed myself when I first saluted

Yesterday in karate class whenever we were supposed to punch left I punched right

.... *long pause*
"Idk I always mess up the punch line"

A sith lord became a karate sensei.

It was master vader

A huge guy walks into a bar and approaches a little guy.

The huge guy karate chops the little guy on the back and says "That was a karate chop from Japan."
A little while later the same huge guy chops the little guy on the back again and says "that was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar for a little while and when he comes back he whacks the huge guy on the back knocking him to the ground.
"Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."

What do you call a lawyer with a black belt in karate?

A self defense attorney!

With all these celebrities getting outed for molesting kids, it's only a matter of time before Jackie Chan is exposed.

Like, do you have any idea how many times he told Jaden Smith to jacket off in the karate kid?

How do you call a bear that knows karate?

Griz Lee

I hear that if you draw a really good portrait of Jason Segel you will instantly be proficient in Karate, Taekwondo, and Jiu Jitsu

I think it has something to do with becoming a master Marshall artist

A Chinese man walks into a bar

A Chinese man walks into a bar and starts drinking a beer. The man next to him asks, "Do you know Kung Fu? Or Karate? Taekwondo? Any martial arts maybe?"
The Chinese man replies in disgust, "You think that just because I'm Chinese I know martial arts? That's racist!"
"Good, because you're drinking my beer," was all the Chinese man heard, before he got knocked out with a punch.

Did anybody hear about the karate champion who joined the army?

It was a disaster!
The first time he tried to salute, he nearly killed himself

Have you heard of the karate black belt that went on to serve the army?

He gave himself a head injury the first time he saluted.

I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujit su...

and other 28 dangerous words.

What do you call a tree that does karate

Spruce Lee

Karate student to his master: "Master Akira, why do asians all look the same?

"I am not Master Akira"

What do you call a rabbi who knows karate?

Jiu Jitsu

I know karate, judo, jujitsu...

And a few more Japanese words.

Why did the Cupboard learn Karate?

for Shelf-Defense

I am a natural talent

You better leave me alone! I know judo, karate, taekwondo and bunch of other Japanese words!

Blind/blonde joke

A blind guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. After a while, he asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies, "Sure, but before you start you should know, I'm blonde. The woman on your left is a blonde, and the man on your right has a black belt in karate and is also blonde.... Are you SURE you want to tell a blonde joke in here?" The blind man replies, "Nah, not if I have to explain it three times."

How does a computer learn karate?

With a punch card

A very drunk guy starts beating up a nun on the street

He throws kicks, uppercuts, regular punches, even some drunk karate moves.

Once he is exhausted he steps back and says "You disappoint me, Batman"

Two men got into a fight at the bar...

As one throws a punch, the other asks Do you know karate? the other man responds No . You don't strike me as someone who would

I was sat at the bar in a pub in Dublin..

..when a Chinese man comes in, sits next to me and starts drinking. I asked him " do you know any of those martial arts like karate or kung fu?"
He says "NO - why the he'll you ask me that! Is it because I am Chinese!!?"
I said "No , it's because your drinking my Guiness"

I beat a chess grandmaster in only three moves

Turns out he's pretty s**... at karate.

I have a karate addiction

But I'm about to kick it

A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."

"A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."

What do you call a lawyer who does karate?

Chop suey!

One legged man

What does a one-legged man call karate?
Partial Arts

A blind man gets into a blondes only bar

He approaches the bar, asks for a beer, and tells her:
- Do you want to hear a very funny joke on blondes?
- Ohh man, you got into the wrong place with this joke! I am 200 pounds blonde barwoman, at your right there is a blonde bodybuilder, at the right there is a blond black belt on karate, and at your back its the most insane blond biker in town. I am gone ask you only once; are you sure you want to tell a joke on blondes?
- No, i dont want to explain the joke four times

I just beat the world chess champion in 3 moves.

Finally my high school karate courses have paid off.

A hitman who kills people through masterful karate was complaining about his clients being inconsistent, calling off hits then putting them out again.

He said it's nothing but "whacks on, whacks off".

What do you call a sheep who knows karate?

A mutton chop.

I once dreamt that I was m**... to pictures of my karate teachers.

Then I came to my senseis.

You should never have a fight with me

I know karate, taekwondo, kung fu and many other asiatic words


This little guy is sitting in a bar, drinking and minding his own business.When all of a sudden a great big guy comes in and bang! knocks him clean off the barstool and onto the floor.The big guy says, That was a karate chop from Korea. The little guy gets up, brushes himself off and leaves the premises.He's gone for an hour before he returns and c**...! he knocks the big guy right off his stool to the ground, where he lies unconscious.The little guy looks at the bartender and says, When that big j**... comes to, you can tell him that was a claw hammer from Home Depot.

How do you say hello to someone who knows karate?


Karate joke, How do you say hello to someone who knows karate?

jokes about karate