Happy Karate Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What's the difference between karate and judo?
Karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of.
Why do indie kids s**... at karate?
They never got past the white belt.
I know Karate...
...And like two other Japanese words.
I came last in a karate competition yesterday
I was k**... myself!
I warn you not to mess with me!
I know Karate, Judo, Aikido, Jiujitsu and 22 other japanese words.
What's the difference between Karate and Judo?
Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.
What do you call it when a deer knows karate?
Tae-fawn-doe
How does the Karate Kid pleasure himself?
Wax off
Started teaching my son and his friends Karate...
I'm not qualified I just really enjoy k**... children.
I beat a black belt at karate.
My next challenger is a green sock.
My wife says it's time I stop pretending to be The Karate Kid.
I had to put my foot down.
You can explore karate wai reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean karate jiujitsu dad jokes. There are also karate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A Chinese guy walks into a bar...
A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :
• My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?
• Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?
• No, it's because you are drinking my beer.
My other brother-in-law died.
He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
I know kung fu, tae kwan do, ninjitsu, karate, tia chi...
and a few other asian words.
My cousin, who's a karate expert, joined the Army.
First time he saluted he nearly killed himself.
My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end.
The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed k**... children.
The karate student kept killing all his teachers...
I guess he became desenseitized
Mexican self defense
A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...
Someone was handing out certificates for a free Karate Lesson at the mall yesterday
He told me I could only Taek Won Do
I went to my favorite bar last night.
A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said "no, because you're drinking my beer".
TIFU by joining the army when I'm already a karate champ
Nearly killed myself when I first saluted
Yesterday in karate class whenever we were supposed to punch left I punched right
.... *long pause*
"What?"
"Idk I always mess up the punch line"
A sith lord became a karate sensei.
It was master vader
What do you call someone with no legs doing Karate?
Partial Arts.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
Pork chop
A huge guy walks into a bar and approaches a little guy.
The huge guy karate chops the little guy on the back and says "That was a karate chop from Japan."
A little while later the same huge guy chops the little guy on the back again and says "that was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar for a little while and when he comes back he whacks the huge guy on the back knocking him to the ground.
"Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
There was a man who became the karate champion on Christmas Day...
So he decided to go by the name, "The Nutcracker."
With all these celebrities getting outed for molesting kids, it's only a matter of time before Jackie Chan is exposed.
Like, do you have any idea how many times he told Jaden Smith to jacket off in the karate kid?
How do you call a bear that knows karate?
Griz Lee
A Chinese man walks into a bar
A Chinese man walks into a bar and starts drinking a beer. The man next to him asks, "Do you know Kung Fu? Or Karate? Taekwondo? Any martial arts maybe?"
The Chinese man replies in disgust, "You think that just because I'm Chinese I know martial arts? That's racist!"
"Good, because you're drinking my beer," was all the Chinese man heard, before he got knocked out with a punch.
Did anybody hear about the karate champion who joined the army?
It was a disaster!
The first time he tried to salute, he nearly killed himself
What do you call an amputee trying to do karate?
Partial Arts.
I decided to teach karate to my neighbors kid
He was enthusiastic for the first two days but then quit before he could finish painting the fences
I beat a black belt at karate
My next opponent is a red sock
I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujit su...
and other 28 dangerous words.
Karate student to his master: "Master Akira, why do asians all look the same?
"I am not Master Akira"
What does the karate kid do in his free time?
He wax off
What do you call a rabbi who knows karate?
Jiu Jitsu
I know karate, judo, jujitsu...
And a few more Japanese words.
Why did the Cupboard learn Karate?
for Shelf-Defense
What do you call a paraplegic who does karate?
Partial Arts.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
I am a natural talent
You better leave me alone! I know judo, karate, taekwondo and bunch of other Japanese words!
Blind/blonde joke
A blind guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. After a while, he asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies, "Sure, but before you start you should know, I'm blonde. The woman on your left is a blonde, and the man on your right has a black belt in karate and is also blonde.... Are you SURE you want to tell a blonde joke in here?" The blind man replies, "Nah, not if I have to explain it three times."
Russian karate kid be like:
Smirn on, Smirn off. Smirn on, Smirn off...
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Pork Chop.
Netflix announced another karate kid spinoff, this time the dojo trains insufferable whiney entitled children.
It's called Cobra Caillou.
What is it called when an amputee does karate?
Partial Arts
How does a computer learn karate?
With a punch card
A very drunk guy starts beating up a nun on the street
He throws kicks, uppercuts, regular punches, even some drunk karate moves.
Once he is exhausted he steps back and says "You disappoint me, Batman"
Two men got into a fight at the bar...
As one throws a punch, the other asks Do you know karate? the other man responds No . You don't strike me as someone who would
I was sat at the bar in a pub in Dublin..
..when a Chinese man comes in, sits next to me and starts drinking. I asked him " do you know any of those martial arts like karate or kung fu?"
He says "NO - why the he'll you ask me that! Is it because I am Chinese!!?"
I said "No , it's because your drinking my Guiness"
Whats the american version of a karate chop?
A Connecti Cut!
I beat a chess grandmaster in only three moves
Turns out he's pretty s**... at karate.
I have a karate addiction
But I'm about to kick it
What do you call an amputee learning karate?
Partial arts
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
"A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
What do you call a lawyer who does karate?
Chop suey!
One legged man
What does a one-legged man call karate?
Partial Arts
A blind man gets into a blondes only bar
He approaches the bar, asks for a beer, and tells her:
- Do you want to hear a very funny joke on blondes?
- Ohh man, you got into the wrong place with this joke! I am 200 pounds blonde barwoman, at your right there is a blonde bodybuilder, at the right there is a blond black belt on karate, and at your back its the most insane blond biker in town. I am gone ask you only once; are you sure you want to tell a joke on blondes?
- No, i dont want to explain the joke four times
What do you call a sheep that does karate
Lamb Chop
What do you call a 1 armed man who does karate?
a Partial artist
I just beat the world chess champion in 3 moves.
Finally my high school karate courses have paid off.
A hitman who kills people through masterful karate was complaining about his clients being inconsistent, calling off hits then putting them out again.
He said it's nothing but "whacks on, whacks off".
What do you call a sheep who knows karate?
A mutton chop.
If Eminem did karate...
His next album would be Marshall Arts
I defeated a state chess champion in two moves
My karate lessons really paid off.
I defeated our local chess champion in less than three moves ...
Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.
I once dreamt that I was m**... to pictures of my karate teachers.
Then I came to my senseis.
You should never have a fight with me
I know karate, taekwondo, kung fu and many other asiatic words
Hammer
This little guy is sitting in a bar, drinking and minding his own business.When all of a sudden a great big guy comes in and bang! knocks him clean off the barstool and onto the floor.The big guy says, That was a karate chop from Korea. The little guy gets up, brushes himself off and leaves the premises.He's gone for an hour before he returns and c**...! he knocks the big guy right off his stool to the ground, where he lies unconscious.The little guy looks at the bartender and says, When that big j**... comes to, you can tell him that was a claw hammer from Home Depot.
How do you say hello to someone who knows karate?
Hiya!
