Karate Jokes
99 karate jokes and hilarious karate puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about karate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy these funny Karate jokes and puns about martial arts and karate kids. Laugh out loud at jokes about karate animals, Christmas karate, Chuck Norris karate, Mann Kickin and Wai. There's something for everyone!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Karate Short Jokes
Short karate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The karate humour may include short martial arts jokes also.
- Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves. Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
- I warn you not to mess with me! I know Karate, Judo, Aikido, Jiujitsu and 22 other japanese words.
- My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
- I decided to teach karate to my neighbors kid He was enthusiastic for the first two days but then quit before he could finish painting the fences
- Someone was handing out certificates for a free Karate Lesson at the mall yesterday He told me I could only Taek Won Do
- What's the difference between karate and judo?
Karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of. - You should never have a fight with me I know karate, taekwondo, kung fu and many other asiatic words
- Karate student to his master: "Master Akira, why do asians all look the same? "I am not Master Akira"
- Two men got into a fight at the bar... As one throws a punch, the other asks Do you know karate? the other man responds No . You don't strike me as someone who would
- My wife says it's time I stop pretending to be The Karate Kid. I had to put my foot down.
Share These Karate Jokes With Friends
Karate One Liners
Which karate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with karate? I can suggest the ones about kung fu and judo.
- What do you call an amputee trying to do karate? Partial Arts.
- I beat a black belt at karate. My next challenger is a green sock.
- What do you call a sheep that does karate Lamb Chop
- What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop.
- I know kung fu, tae kwan do, ninjitsu, karate, tia chi... and a few other asian words.
- I know Karate... ...And like two other Japanese words.
- How does the Karate Kid pleasure himself? Wax off
- If Eminem did karate... His next album would be Marshall Arts
- Whats the american version of a karate chop? A Connecti Cut!
- How does a computer learn karate? With a punch card
- What does the karate kid do in his free time? He wax off
- I have a karate addiction But I'm about to kick it
- How do you say hello to someone who knows karate? Hiya!
- Russian karate kid be like: Smirn on, Smirn off. Smirn on, Smirn off...
- What do you call a rabbi who knows karate? Jiu Jitsu
Karate Kid Jokes
Here is a list of funny karate kid jokes and even better karate kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why didn't the Congolese karate Kid didn't want to play against the Belgian one ? He heard the Belgian had some hand-chopping moves up his sleeve.
- Have you ever seen the karate kid backwards? It's a movie about a karate champ that slowly becomes more and more of a oudsy until he finally moved back to Jersey.
- The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
- What's a karate kid's favorite sweet? Taekwondonuts
Christmas Karate Jokes
Here is a list of funny christmas karate jokes and even better christmas karate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There was a man who became the karate champion on Christmas Day... So he decided to go by the name, "The Nutcracker."
Happy Karate Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about karate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jiu jitsu jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make karate pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do indie kids s**... at karate?
They never got past the white belt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I came last in a karate competition yesterday
I was k**... myself!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of karate do Rabbis know?
Jew Jitsu.
Have you seen the new karate opera?
Critics are calling it sensei-tional.
What do you call it when a deer knows karate?
Tae-fawn-doe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Started teaching my son and his friends Karate...
I'm not qualified I just really enjoy k**... children.
What drink did the Karate Master order?
Wa-tah!
Haha. I'll leave now...
(Sorry if already posted. I searched a little bit but found nothing.)
What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him?
HIYAH!
Did you hear about the sketchy Karate School in the new Powerpuff Girls series?
Mojo Jojo's Dojo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I used to think my Karate instructor was very wise.
However, yesterday my pregnant neighbour Mrs. Wong and her husband rushed to hospital.
When they came back today they had the baby with them so I figured I'd go say hi.
Strangest thing! The baby is Caucasian!
I couldn't believe my eyes, this whole time my instructor had been lying to me; two Wongs DO make a white!
A Chinese guy walks into a bar...
A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :
• My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?
• Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?
• No, it's because you are drinking my beer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My cousin, who's a karate expert, joined the Army.
First time he saluted he nearly killed himself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end.
The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed k**... children.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The karate student kept killing all his teachers...
I guess he became desenseitized
Mexican self defense
A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...
I've always been terrible at Karate, so my Sensei told me "Wax on, Wax off."
I'm now in burning pain, but my chest is *spotless.*
What does this have to do with Karate?
Why are karate instructors the worst party guests?
They always show up empty handed.
My karate teacher insited I learnt mantis style
I learnt panda style instead
came back with two black eyes
I once told a bully " don't mess with me, I know karate " ...
& 4 other Japanese words.
My friend doesn't like karate...
But I think it's Sensei-tional!
Yesterday in karate class whenever we were supposed to punch left I punched right
.... *long pause*
"What?"
"Idk I always mess up the punch line"
A sith lord became a karate sensei.
It was master vader
Do you take karate?
Because your breath is kickin'
A huge guy walks into a bar and approaches a little guy.
The huge guy karate chops the little guy on the back and says "That was a karate chop from Japan."
A little while later the same huge guy chops the little guy on the back again and says "that was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar for a little while and when he comes back he whacks the huge guy on the back knocking him to the ground.
"Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
What do you call a lawyer with a black belt in karate?
A self defense attorney!
Karate
is the ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts.
I prefer to use karate instead of a knife
My wife doesn't ask me to cut the vegetables anymore
I hear that if you draw a really good portrait of Jason Segel you will instantly be proficient in Karate, Taekwondo, and Jiu Jitsu
I think it has something to do with becoming a master Marshall artist
My karate teacher wore lipstick to class
He looked senseitional
...edit- but sadly his own master wouldn't talk to him. It was a sensei shun.
Did anybody hear about the karate champion who joined the army?
It was a disaster!
The first time he tried to salute, he nearly killed himself
How did the amateur win the karate tournament?
He won the No-Belt Prize.
Have you heard of the karate black belt that went on to serve the army?
He gave himself a head injury the first time he saluted.
I KNOW KARATE, KUNGFU,BOXING,JUJITSU....
And fifteen other cool words
I joined a Karate class and told the Sensei I wanted to learn how to do roundhouse kicks.
He asked me how flexible I was and I replied I can't train on Wednesday and Fridays.
My neighbor's son
Used to get beat up at school. He decided to put him in karate classes. Now he gets beat up at school and gets beat up at Karate.
A Karate master teaches his students how to break a piece of wood
He points his finger to the center of the board and tells his students, "This is the punch line"
What do you call a yak doing karate?
A maniYAK
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Can you imagine how awesome domestic violence would be.....
If EVERYONE knew karate?
Why did the Cupboard learn Karate?
for Shelf-Defense
A karate instructor was arrested after leaving the store
He was charged with chop lifting
I am a natural talent
You better leave me alone! I know judo, karate, taekwondo and bunch of other Japanese words!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blind/blonde joke
A blind guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. After a while, he asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies, "Sure, but before you start you should know, I'm blonde. The woman on your left is a blonde, and the man on your right has a black belt in karate and is also blonde.... Are you SURE you want to tell a blonde joke in here?" The blind man replies, "Nah, not if I have to explain it three times."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Netflix announced another karate kid spinoff, this time the dojo trains insufferable whiney entitled children.
It's called cobra Caillou.
A very drunk guy starts beating up a nun on the street
He throws kicks, uppercuts, regular punches, even some drunk karate moves.
Once he is exhausted he steps back and says "You disappoint me, Batman"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I beat a chess grandmaster in only three moves
Turns out he's pretty s**... at karate.
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
"A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
What do you call a lawyer who does karate?
Chop suey!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blind man gets into a blondes only bar
He approaches the bar, asks for a beer, and tells her:
- Do you want to hear a very funny joke on blondes?
- Ohh man, you got into the wrong place with this joke! I am 200 pounds blonde barwoman, at your right there is a blonde bodybuilder, at the right there is a blond black belt on karate, and at your back its the most insane blond biker in town. I am gone ask you only once; are you sure you want to tell a joke on blondes?
- No, i dont want to explain the joke four times
A hitman who kills people through masterful karate was complaining about his clients being inconsistent, calling off hits then putting them out again.
He said it's nothing but "whacks on, whacks off".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once dreamt that I was m**... to pictures of my karate teachers.
Then I came to my senseis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hammer
This little guy is sitting in a bar, drinking and minding his own business.When all of a sudden a great big guy comes in and bang! knocks him clean off the barstool and onto the floor.The big guy says, That was a karate chop from Korea. The little guy gets up, brushes himself off and leaves the premises.He's gone for an hour before he returns and c**...! he knocks the big guy right off his stool to the ground, where he lies unconscious.The little guy looks at the bartender and says, When that big j**... comes to, you can tell him that was a claw hammer from Home Depot.
