karaoke Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious karaoke puns

I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row…

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…

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I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row...

...they told me I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts

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I was booed off stage and locked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone too many times very poorly

They told me I had too many unsuccessful Loggins attempts

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My drunk friend got kicked out of Karaoke for singing Danger Zone 7 times in a row.

He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.

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Prison joke (NSFW)

First day in prison, a new young prisoner looks scared. Old guy looks at him and says "Are you scared? New guys meekly says "yes". Old guy says "it isn't bad. Do you like baseball?" New guy says "Yes". Old guy say "Every Monday, we have a softball game." Old guy asks "You like movies?". New guy says "Yes". Old guy says "Well every Tuesday, is movie night and they play first run movies." Old guy asks, "Do you like singing?". New guy says "yes". Old guy says, "every Wednesday, we have karaoke." Old guy asks, "Are you a homosexual?" New guy says "Nope." Old guy says, "you not going to like Thursdays."

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I went to a karaoke bar last night.

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music…

at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified.

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American Businessman's First Visit to Japan

A successful American businessman heads to Japan to meet with a big supplier. Naturally, the Japanese are going to set him up with a good time and loads of entertainment. The first night, they go to Karaoke and a gorgeous young Karaoke hostess is sent back to the man's hotel room to entertain him further.

Despite her willingness, she still wants everything done with the lights off. As he is going at it, she is crying out "Oshimigaso, Oshimigaso", over and over.

When it is all said and done, he asks her, "What does Oshimigaso mean?"

"Oh," she says blushing, "it means 'fantastic' or 'incredible'."

The next morning, the businessman joins his Japanese hosts for a round of golf. Naturally.

On the fifth hole, the CEO of the Japanese company hits a hole-in-one.

Aiming to impress, the American cries out, "Oshimigaso, OSHIMIGASO!!".

The Japanese CEO replies, "What do you mean, 'wrong hole'?"

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I went to a karaoke bar yesterday that didn't play any 70s music

At first i was afraid, i was petrified.

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Japanese bank crises.

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

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My orgasms are like karaoke

They often involve drunken women and sound absolutely ridiculous

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What do you call a pall bearer in Oklahoma?

A karaoke!

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Boy sent a text to her girlfriend - Ready for tonight, Babe? You're going to use that mouth so hard.

Reply: I am Amy's father, and what is she going to do with her mouth?
Boy: Oh, she didn't tell you?
Father: What?
Boy: It's Karaoke night!

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I was already on stage when I realized Take On Me was a bad karaoke song for me to sing...

It was a real Aha moment.

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Which went up to sing karaoke, rock, paper, or scissors?

Rock. He was Boulder.

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Japan's Financial Crisis

Banking Crisis Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving.

If anything, it's getting worse.

Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up.

Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches.

Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song.

Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped.

Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

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What do you call a pallbearer from Oklahoma?

A Karaoke

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My whole life I've wanted to be a singer in the worst possible way

I just got booed off the stage at karaoke night so I think I've succeeded.

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What do you call karaoke being sung by a Native American?

Cheraokee.

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My therapist says...

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any Seventies music. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrified.

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Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

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I was pulled offstage and beaten mercilessly while singing karaoke at a bar in Hiroshima, Japan

In hindsight, maybe "I Dropped a Bomb on You", wasn't the wisest of song choices.

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If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend...

...just duet!

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What is Tim Cook's favorite song at Karaoke?

"Hit the roooad Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more"

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The karaoke party was the bomb

Sam sung

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I went to a Karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70s music.

At first I was afraid, Oh I was petrified!

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How was your night?

John and Roy, two good friends, decide to go out to a bar on a Friday night and have a little fun. After a while, the two get bored and they each go their own way.

John, a bit tipsy (and a performer at heart), decides to try out in the bar's karaoke competition. To his surprise, he takes first place and wins a huge trophy!

Roy, the ladies man of the two, tries to find the most beautiful girl in the bar, and low and behold, Roy gets to talking with an absolute knockout, 10 out of 10. Things start to get serious, and eventually they head back to Roy's apartment.

The next day, the two meet back up at the same bar.

"How was your night, John?" Roy asked.

"Fantastic!" Said John. "Veni, vidi, vici, as the saying goes. I came. I saw. I conquered. What about you?"

Roy thought for a minute, and then smiled.

"What can I say? Vidi, vici, veni."

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Why did the apple leave the Karaoke bar?

Because Sam sung.

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Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper depicts all apostles and Jesus sitting on one side of the table.

There must have been a show and karaoke.

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So a duck goes to a karaoke bar and sings soul music.

Till his Bill Withers

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I'm so good at karaoke.

I was blaring out my song the other night, and everyone left the pub to tell their friends about how good I was.

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I was singing Barry White songs on the karaoke last night

And people in the crowd kept shouting

"You are soul! You are soul!"

I think they loved me

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What does karaoke mean in japanese?

White man can't sing.

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I refuse to sing "Kiss From a Rose" at karaoke.

I'm not a performing Seal.

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What did the pony say at karaoke night when he went up to sing?

Pardon my voice, I'm just a little horse.

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Why didn't the horse sing at karaoke?

His voice had gotten pony.. I mean a little horse.

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What are the most funny Karaoke jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Karaoke? Well, here are the best Karaoke dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Karaoke pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes