Kant Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I tried to come up with a pun about famous German philosophers...

but I Kant.

I'd really love to study Philosophy...

But I Kant.

Philosophy Convention

All the world's greatest philosophers are gathering in France for the largest philosophy convention ever. Socrates, Descartes, Kant, etc have all made their way to Paris and checked into their rooms. Aristotle's invitation was lost in the time-travel post office and he didn't get the invitation until much later.
When he finally arrives, he asks the front desk for his room but, unfortunately, no rooms are available.

Struck by this, Aristotle asks Socrates if he wouldn't mind sharing a room with him but Socrates slams the door in his face.

He goes over to Kant's room and pleads with him but Kant also slams the door in face.

Aristotle decides to change his plan. He walks to Descartes' room and tells him "Descartes, there has been a terrible mistake. The front desk has given you my room and has lost your reservation." Descartes, angered by this, replies "I think not!"

And then Aristotle got a room.

Well now that Nietzsche won the prize for Best German Philosopher...

Immanuel Kant.

I was going to tell a joke about 18th century philosophers...

But I just Kant.

Can you imagine referring to philosophers by their first initial and last name?

Because I Kant.

What did Hannibal Lecter say to the philosophy professor after the lecture?

I can smell your Kant.

Have you seen the entitled philosopher preaching outside the women's dorm today?

What a Kant.

What do you call a mean philosopher?

A kant

What most philosophers can...

Emmanuel Kant.

If everyone did things like you do, would the world be a better place?

Guess it Kant be helped

I was trying to think of a good philosopher pun

...but I Kant

I want to stop philosophizing

But I kant

What did the philosophy major say when asked can you recommend a philosopher who wrote on how to treat his fellow man?

I. Kant

I thought I could finish this philosophy essay...

...Turns out I Kant.

Why does the philosopher have an automatic car..?

Because he Kant drive Immanuel.

What is Australias favourite philosopher?


What did Immanuel Kant once say?

My name is Kant but my personality isn't.

Two philosophers walk into a bar, sit down, order a round of beers, and start playing poker.

I Kant tell you the rest; it just wasn't in Descartes.

I'm so bad at philosophy....

.....I Kant even

Immanuel doesn't pun,

he Kant.

Does anyone if there are any German philosophers?

I Kant think of any.

My friend is trying to convince me to teach a combination ophthalmology/philosophy/spanish/technology/pun course.

But eye just kant si IT.

What are the funniest kant jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Kant? Well, here are the best Kant puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Kant pick up lines to share with friends.


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