Kansas Jokes

Enjoy a chuckle with these humorous jokes about the state of Kansas! Learn about Kansas City Chiefs, Kansas City Royals, Kansas Jayhawk, Kansas State, Kansas basketball, Kansas weather, and more. Laugh your way through the heart of America with these hilarious jokes!

Hilarious Kansas Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

Why don't any pirates live in Kansas?

Because they all live in *Ar*kansas.

Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport?

They tried to carry-on my wayward son.

How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house?

Paint a goal line on your driveway.


A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"

The boy said, "yes she did."

"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."

jokes about kansas

Why is Oklahoma so windy?

Because Kansas s**..., and Texas blows

Is the Capitol of Kansas pronounced "Wichitay" or "Wichitah?"

It's pronounced "Topeka."

What do buzzards in Kansas eat?

Carrion, my wayward son.

Kansas joke, What do buzzards in Kansas eat?

What's the inverse of Kansas?


What does Kansas and jews have in common

Dust in the wind

Where Do Pirates From Kansas Go?


Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

You can explore kansas houston reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kansas wisconsin dad jokes. There are also kansas puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call Kansas overrun by pirates?


What if Superman landed in Mexico instead of Kansas?

He'd be an i**... alien.

Bernie Sanders is like the Wizard of Oz...

...because he took Kansas by storm.

Why do all the trees in Kansas lean south?

Because Oklahoma s**....

Why do diners in Kansas put a red star next to Vanilla ice cream?

to warn that it may be considered "too spicey" for the average customer

Kansas joke, Why do diners in Kansas put a red star next to Vanilla ice cream?

The Wizard of Oz takes on a whole new plot when you look at it from Toto's perspective...

... as much as Dorothy misses Kansas, Toto misses the rains down in Africa.

What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists?

Baryon my wayward son!

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

I took pi to Idaho, Kansas and Utah ....

My math teacher always told me to take it to three dismal places

Did you ever notice...

That Kansas is a progressive rock band but a conservative state?

The kid of a guy from Kansas asked his dad which type of bag to bring for his flight.

"'Carry on', my wayward son..."

If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?

They missed the rains down in Africa

Why did Missouri decided to also name their side of the river "Kansas City"?

Because Missouri loves company.

I was looking through the accents on my GPS when I came across Kansas

I turned it on and all it said was "carry on wayward son."

What is a Kansas pirate's favorite state?


Kansas joke, What is a Kansas pirate's favorite state?

What's the difference between the Kansas City Chiefs and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

A guy is scoping out chicks in a bar...

...when he sees one wearing a Kansas City Chiefs jersey.

He walks up to her and says, "Hi. My name is 21 Point Lead."

The woman laughs and replies, "That's not your name!"

The guy says, "You're right, but I figured anyone wearing a Chiefs jersey would blow a 21 point lead."

What do you call Kansas with a gun?


What did Kansas say they're lesser known sister band?

O-hi-o! I must have missed you there!

Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas are all about to Outlaw Interstate Begging

These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.

Why are there no Pirates in Kansas?

They all moved to ARKansas

I started taking fish out of Kansas City and bringing them into Kansas. The local vegans and fishermen got mad at me.

I said, What, I'm just putting them out of their Missouri

Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas.

After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow tipping?" "I'm sorry, gentlemen. Cow tipping is simply an urban myth," the bartender explains. "The farmers actually pay them a competitive wage."

A man had a terminal illness.

His doctor says he only had six months to live and there is only one treatment. The doctor tells him he had to marry a woman that yells at him constantly and move to Kansas.

Will it help? asks the man.

No, says the doctor, but it will be the longest six months of your life.

In retrospect...

it probably wasn't a good idea when Kansas City Urban Friends decided to use their acronym for the new dyslexia outreach program.

Where did the Pirate from Kansas move to?


The University of Kansas football program just traded in all their company vehicles for new ones...

They wanted Les Miles

What is a good reason to live in Kansas?


My friend Billy Bob and I visited a place where you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri. Billy Bob opened up and said that he was actually in a fourth state; crippling depression. I said, I'm so sorry

... but you can't count Missouri twice.

I've heard there used to be so many pirates in Kansas

But they were eventually kicked out and made their own state, arr-kansas

Did you hear about the group of Kansas City football players who all contracted skin infections while smoking m**...?

The Joint Chiefs of Staph

I recently visited a US state north of Texas and south of Kansas.

It wasn't great, but it was OK.

Classic Rock and Roll Trivia

I learned today that 3 of the guys who performed on "Rosanna" and "Africa" also played on "Dust in the Wind". Music journalist asked them why they joined the new band and they said

"Toto? We aren't in Kansas anymore".

Arkansas is where all the pirates from Kansas moved.

And they originally spelled it Cansas but being so far from the coast they found they missed the C too much.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the kansas kansas chiefs puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working kansas kansas city piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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