Howlingly Hilarious Kangaroo Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
911 What's your emergency?
**Kangaroo:** I CAN'T FIND MY KIDS!
**911:** Did you check your pockets?
**Kangaroo *[pats pocket]*:** Oh... nevermind.
What's something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because the kids have to play inside.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a bald eagle
A life time ban from the zoo and a felony...apparently
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Great big holes all over australia
I just learned that you can get drunk from Kangaroo meat!
I'm pretty sure it has something to do with all the hops.
A kangaroo walks into a bar
A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a beer. He pays with a twenty and the bartender figures, "What does a kangaroo know about money?" gives him a single in change.
Then his curiosity gets the better of him. "You know," he says to the kangaroo, "we don't get a lot of kangaroos in this place."
The kangaroo replies sourly, "Yeah, and at $19 for a beer, you won't be getting many more."
[Siri Beta] What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A mars-upial
What do you call a shirtless Australian?
A Kangaroo
Man sees a kangaroo sitting in a movie theater
"Are you a kangaroo?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The kangaroo replied, "Well, I liked the book."
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn't jump at all....
You can explore kangaroo hoppy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean kangaroo chimpanzee dad jokes. There are also kangaroo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A wooly jumper (I'll see myself out)
What do get if you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant?
A stern letter from the scientific ethics committee.
What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo and an Elephant?
A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
Why did the kangaroo not like his beer?
It wasn't hoppy enough
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Can a Kangaroo jump higher than the Eiffel Tower ?
Of course, the Eiffel Tower can't jump !
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A sternly worded letter from the ethics committee and your funding revoked.
Two kangaroos are in the bathtub. cuz why not
One kangaroo says, "Pass the soap."
The other kangaroo says, "No soap...radio!"
A kangaroo hops into the bar, the bartender, says "sorry we're closed"
The kangaroo says, "I thought you needed a bouncer"
*Ba dum tiss*
What's the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?
A Kangaroo is a marsupial found mainly in Australia.
A Kangaroot is a person from Newcastle stuck in a lift.
Why are Kangaroos only qualified to be teachers?
Because they're Kangurus
Where does a dyslexic kangaroo go when he's sick
The Hopsital
What do you call a Kangaroo with bad manners?
Kangarude
What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?
One lives in the outback, and one is a Scotsman stuck in a lift.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course. Houses can't jump
Why did the first koala fall out the tree
It was dead
Why did the second koala fall out the tree?
It got hit by the first koala
Why did the third koala fall out the tree?
Thought it was a race to the bottom
Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure
Why did the kangaroo die?
Got hit by four koala's.
An Australian man and his kangaroo walk into a bar
An Australian man and his kangaroo walk into a bar, and spend the night drinking shot after shot. After a few hours, the kangaroo passes out and slumps to the floor. The man goes to pay his tab and starts to leave. The bartender shouts Hey! Are you just going to leave that lying there? The man turns back, glances at his drinking companion, and says to the bartender, That's not a lion. That's a kangaroo.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you do with an Elephant that has three b**...?
You walk him and pitch to the Kangaroo
What does a kangaroo get if it hurts itself really badly?
A hop-eration
Courtesy of my 7yo daughter so be kind!
What do you call a dj-ing kangaroo?
Disc joey
A kangaroo walks into a bar
And orders an espresso martini.
While the Barkeeper serves the drink to the kangaroo another customer remarks:
"don't you find it weird that a kangaroo walks into a bar and orders an espresso martini?"
"Yes, normally he wants ginger beer."
In Australia they use kangaroo broth to make
Marsoupial
What do you get if you cross Godzilla with a kangaroo
Big holes all over Australia
A teacher asks a student to "name two animals peculiar to Australia"
He responds with "The polar bear and penguin are peculiar to Australia, but the kangaroo and dingo live there."
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.
Why did the kangaroo cross the road?
It was hopping mad!
*My 5 year old niece made this up. I don't get it. She's been repeating it and giggling the whole day. I have to pretend to understand it.*
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Why does a momma kangaroo hate the rain?
Because on those days the kids have to play inside
It's no surprise that Australia's Federal Court overturned Djokovic's visa cancellation.
It's a Kangaroo court after all.
A kangaroo was dining in a restaurant.
The server stopped by and complained: "Sir! Everytime I stop by you order soup!"
The kangaroo replied: "Why yes! That's because I'm a morsoupial!"
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course the Empire State Building can't jump
Did you know that some kangaroos can jump higher than most mountains?
Because mountains can't jump
I tried some spicy kangaroo jerky today…
It had the perfect amount of kick
Why wasn't the vet worried when I took my teenaged kangaroo in for an operation?
Because it was just roo teen surgery.
