Kam Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Kam puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Kam

What did the kamikaze pilot tell his students?

Watch closely. I'm only gonna show this once

Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze bank were suspended after they nosedived.


Samurai bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja bank is reported to have taken a hit, but it remains in the black.


Furthermore 500 staff at Karate bank got the chop and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi bank where it's feared staff may get a raw deal.

It's only kamikaze if it came from the Kamikaze region in Japan...

Otherwise it's just plane suicide.

What did the Kamikaze pilot say to his students?

Pay attention, I am only going to do this once.

Japan's worst kamikaze pilot

He flew over 25 missions

Kamikaze

It's a dying art

Financial collapse in Japan

Origami Bank has folded.


Sumo Bank has gone belly up.


Bonsai Bank has had to cut back some of its branches.


Karaoke Bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.


There's something fishy going on at Sushi Bank...shareholders are afraid they might get a raw deal.


Kamikaze Bank shares have nose-dived.


500 jobs at Karate Bank have been chopped.

IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad dies at 91.

His funeral has been postponed until his family get the screw that wasn't included with his KΓ–FFIN product

A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

Now that Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA, is dead...

... Do we have to buy our furniture from EA?

I bought a copy of the Kama Sutra to spice things up in the bedroom with my girlfriend...

...unfortunately, it wouldn't fit inside her.

Banking Crisis in Japan

Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches.

Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

A girl asked her boyfriend what the Kamasutra was...

He replied "Let me put it this way"

Have you heard of the TV show about kamikaze attacks?

It didn't last longer than the pilot

Why were kamikaze flyers a bad weapon?

Because all the good ones died in practice.

Japanese Banking Crisis

Worrying news from the Japanese financial markets. Following last week`s disclosure that the Origami Bank had folded, we hear that the Sumo Bank has just gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived, 500 staff at Karate bank got the chop and Karaoke Bank is up for sale and going for a song. Analysts also report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal. But Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks.

What do you call a blind suicide pilot?

Kamicantsee

What did Hitler call his recliner?

Mein Kampf-y Chair.

What is Hitler's favorite blanket?

Mein Kampfurter.

Nakamushi! Nakamushi!

A businessman is on his first trip to Japan. To relax himself the night before his big meeting he gets a call girl. While he's banging her she keeps on screaming

Nakamushi! Nakamushi! which he assumes is a complement on his sexual prowess.

The next his meeting goes well and he's invited to play golf with the Japanese CEO. The CEO sinks a particular long putt for a birdie and the businessman thinks 'I'll impress him with some Japanese' so he applauds the CEO and says

Nakamushi! Nakamushi! But the CEO frowns at him and says

What do you mean 'Wrong hole! Wrong hole'?

I went to the library looking for a copy of the Kama sutra...

I couldn't find it. So I complained to the librarian.
They Replied "Ah that's cause it's in a different position every week"

Me and my girlfriend bought a copy of the Kama Sutra to spice up our love life...

... I just can't seem to fit it inside her. Shouldn't have gotten the hardcover version I guess.

The Kama Sutra has announced a new sex position called The Plumber:

You stay in all day and nobody comes!

A Brazillian Classic

There was a family with three kids. One day, the eldest kid, Dropey, came up to his mom and asked:

Mommy, why am I called Dropey?

It's because when you were born, a drop of water fell onto your forehead!

Oh, okay!

Then Flowey, the middle kid, got kinda curious, and decided to ask too:

What about me mommy, why am I called Flowey?

It's because when you were born, a little flower fell on top of your head!

Ah, I see!

Then, the youngest kid, Bricky, seeing all this, thought he should ask too:

HURUUUURR AHAHAUHEKAGDKAMNSSS?

A brick, Bricky. That's what fell right onto your face.

What does a duck put in its burrito?

Quackamole.

Grammar Nazis really make me fuhrious.

I'm sorry. That joke was really out of mein kampfort zone.

Anne Frankly, it was just bad.

Japanese bank crises.

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

What did Hitler call his favorite piece of furniture?

Mein Kampfy Chair

IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad passes away at 91.

Wonder if he collapsed unexpectedly at home?

I just finished reading Mein Kampf...

Pretty good for light reading, I rate it nein out of ten.

What did the Japanese General say to his kamikaze trainee?

Despite what everyone tells you, you'll never learn from your mistakes.

My interview for the position of a Kamikaze pilot today went pretty well.

until I asked about the pension.

Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler?

He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches.

Holocaust jokes are...

out of Mein Kamf-ort zone, Anne Frank-ly I find them offensive.

Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot?

He crashed his plane onto his brothers scrap metal yard.

My favorite bee joke

A bee is flying around on a rainy day, sad because the sun isn't out, when he sees another bee. They stop and talk to each other, the bee says this sucks. His friend replies you have to go down the street and check out this synagogue I was just at. There is a bar mitzvah going on right now. What's a bar mitzvah? It's a celebration, it's indoors and they have so many flowers all over the room, it's wonderful. That sounds great, says the bee I have just one more question. Yes? What is that thing on your head? This thing, it's called a Yakama. Why are you wearing it? I didn't want the people at the synagogue to think I was a wasp.

What does Hitler call the area around his tent?

Mein Kampf

What dip do ducks favour the most?

Quakamole.

What were the Kamikaze Pilot's last words?

"Watch this cause i'll only do it once."

Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed?

He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral.

I noticed at my bookstore that the "Kama Sutra" and "The Art of the Deal" are both in the erotica section

According to the bookstore, "The Art of the Deal" has people getting screwed in a lot more positions.

Did you know they made "Mein Kamph" into a game?

To win you just keep pressing 'alt right'

Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one...

...And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

What did Hitler name his mattress?

Mein Kampfy

Have you heard about the Mother and Son themed Kama Sutra?

It's called "Oediple Arrangements."

What did Hitler say when he was asked where he would like to sit?

He said "Mein Kampfy chair."

A little known fact about Hitler was that he was an amateur Chinese chef

He wrote a best selling cookbook, Chow Mein Kampf.

Ingar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA has passed away

- flat pack coffins

- Allen key

- left over parts

- missing screws

This joke needs some assembly

IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has died at 91. His funeral procession will be a winding path that takes about 2 hours with a pause in the middle for refreshments.

We also seem to have an extra casket handle and a handful of screws.

Did you know Hitler tried to get into carpentry?

He even published a book, Mein Kampfy Chair

Apparently it never took off because he had a thing against screws.

At the course of kamikaze soldiers, some students were clearly distracted

"Pay attention!", said the laborator assistant, "I'm not gonna show you twice."

What do you get if you put a duck in a blender?

A quackamole

What's Hitler's favorite chinese dish?

Chow Mein Kampf

My wife said if I don't do page 7 of the Kama Sutra she will leave me.

It's put me in a very difficult position.

I'm working on a Star Wars Kama Sutra book.

I don't have all the positions down quite yet, but I have mastered the Hand Solo.

My historian friend was telling me about how the Japanese would kamikaze when all else failed.

That's just plane suicide

I hate talking with Jewish people

It really takes me out of Mein Kampfort zone!

A German optimist wanted to write a book to cheer his friends up

It was entitled "Nein Kampf"

What do you get if you cross a duck with an avocado?

Quackamole

What is the Kamasutra about?

I don't know, but it has a happy ending.

Why did Hitler prefer pajamas more than suits

Cause they are more kampfy

"Let me put it this way.."

~gist of Kamasutra

Hitler and friends decide to have a game to see who can put the most depth charges in the sea

It's a Mine Kampfetition!

GF asked me where I learned Kama Sutra

Told her I studied a broad.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes