Junk Jokes
119 junk jokes and hilarious junk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about junk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Come for a laugh with these hilarious jokes about junk food, junk mail, junk removal, junk yards, junk cars, junk drawers, peeks, zips and trash cans. Enjoy a lighthearted peek into the world of junk with these comical jokes!
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Funniest Junk Short Jokes
Short junk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The junk humour may include short garbage jokes also.
- Two days into my diet I removed all the junk food from my house.... .....and it was delicious
- I'm opening a new gay club called "Garage Sale" Because one mans junk is another mans treasure!
- The Testicular Cancer Clinic called me and said, Did you get our email? I said No . They said, Maybe you should check your junk.
- Once I met a gay man and asked him what his outlook on life was. You know what he said? One man's junk is another man's treasure!
- Have you heard about the film they're making, where Dallas gets destroyed by space junk? Debris Does Dallas.
- I went to a gay bar called The flea Market. I guess one man's junk really is another man's treasure.
- "New Years resoultion" I have been reading so many bad things lately about how all the bad things sugar and junk food could do to me, so my New Years resoultion is no more reading 😊
- The clinic where I had my recent testicular cancer exam called me and asked, Did you get our email? Rather alarmed, I exclaimed, No! What should I do!?" They replied... You better check your junk.
- I got fired from Arby's because I couldn't quit scratching my junk. I don't see what I did wrong! I mean, I had gloves on.
- Trash/rubbish bags and condoms are basically the same thing. You fill them with your junk and they always seem to break when carrying a big load
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Junk One Liners
Which junk one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with junk? I can suggest the ones about rubbish and waste.
- Tumblr is like junk food They're both filled with trans fat.
- Which superhero loves to whip out his junk in public? The Flash
- How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex scratch it's junk? It squats down on a Triceratops.
- Why did the zombie not eat your brain? Because he doesn't eat junk food.
- What gets easier as you get taller? Washing your junk in the sink
- One man's junk is another man's treasure... especially to gay people
- How can you tell if an elephant is sick? If it has junk in its trunk!
- What is a cannibals favorite junk food? HANDburgers
- What's a homeless man's favourite type of food? Junk food
- What do you call a spaceship, designed to collect space junk? A vacuum cleaner...
- What is a beavers favorite junk food? Woodchips
- My friends call me The Archeologist Because I date old, dusty pieces of junk
- Where does Sauron keep all his useless junk? In Hoardor.
- What did the Bostonian zookeeper say when the monkey hit him in the junk? Macaque!
- What do garbage man eat? Junk food
Junk Food Jokes
Here is a list of funny junk food jokes and even better junk food puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have been trying to lose weight so I've been keeping my junk food in the basement. This makes it cellary.
- Two days into my diet I removed all the junk food from my house.... ...now I'm eating from my trashcan.
- My love life is a lot like a celery stick I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me.
- I used to eat a lot of junk food and do Fortnite dances But my dad told me you are what you yeet.
- Most redittors would make excellent Presidents. We already sleep, eat junk food, watch TV and post on social media 21 hours a day.
- My wife says she is no longer buying junk food for the family because, "Everyone just eats it."
- What's Stormy Daniel's least favourite junk food? Toadstools...
- I've been reading so much about the bad effects of smoking, drinking, junk food and s**... that .. I've finally decided to give up reading
Junk Mail Jokes
Here is a list of funny junk mail jokes and even better junk mail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- One of the most important skill my parents taught me is... How to tell what is junk mail and real mail.
- What kind of mail gets delivered to drug addicts? Junk e-mail
- We sent you an email, please check... please check your junk...
Mail. - Someone keeps sending me envelopes with cartoon d**... on them. I hate junk mail.
- What is Anthony w**...'s favorite type of mail? Junk mail
Junk Drawer Jokes
Here is a list of funny junk drawer jokes and even better junk drawer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a kid and a drawer? A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.
- What does Iggy Azalea have in her kitchen junk drawers? Mainly doodads doodads.
Junk Removal Jokes
Here is a list of funny junk removal jokes and even better junk removal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Who is the best employee for the junk removal company? The Rabbi
Quirky and Hilarious Junk Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about junk you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bunk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make junk pranks.
I had such a strange dream last night...
everything was reversed. Vegans were eating meat. Christians were having un-married s**.... Bodybuilders were fat and eating junk food. And the weirdest of all I was getting laid.
What do the Minnesota Vikings and a car in the junk yard have in common?
Neither one has a title
Testicular cancer joke?
Testicular Cancer Society: Hi there, did you receive our email?
Me: No... why?
Testicular Cancer Society: Maybe you should check your junk.
Yummy
So a husband and wife wake up one morning and the husband is the first to go to the bathroom. The wife patiently waits her turn until she hears her hair dryer is on. Confused and curious she opens the bathroom door to find her husband blow drying his junk. Naturally, she asks him what he is doing to which he responds, "Heating up your breakfast."
j**... grandson : Grandma,grandma did you see my pills I left on the table ?
Grandma: F*c**... the pills,did you see those dragons in the kitchen ?
Did you heard about the elephant that was a hoarder?
He had a lot of junk in the trunk.
Come on, be easy on me, I made that up myself while staring at elephants at the zoo yesterday.
A j**... walks into a gay bar,.....
he goes straight to the bathroom and starts b**... ron.
cheap grunt,who's looking for some simple, easy work that takes no real skill or qualification,just the boring junk you don't want to deal with.
2 guys walking down the road...
they see a dog, l**... its junk.
"I wish I could do that."
"Uhhh....you might want to try petting him first."
What's the difference between Jared from Subway's gut and his junk?
He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.
The j**... tried but couldn't quit
All of his efforts were in vein
Why are anorexics cleaner than everyone else?
Because they have no junk in their trunk
Why should you hire a drag queen to help clean your garage?
They know how to tuck away junk.
Husband: Hey baby, hold my jock strap.
Wife: That's disgusting why would I hold your jock strap?
Husband: Well I always hold your purse for you.
Wife: That's not remotely the same.
Husband: Why not, they both hold our junk.
Credit to /u/WhistleWhileYouLurk.
What does a j**... use for protection during s**...?
a bus shelter
Why is Junkrat a feminist's favorite class in Overwatch?
TRIGGERED
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a homosexual?
One's crack is in a j**... and the other's junk is in a crack.
My mailbox is overflowing, my spam folder and junk folder rival each other in size, and I keep procrastinating on dealing with it...
But one day I'm gonna go clean all that up, you just wait and DNC.
Did you see the Chinese pole vaulter whose junk pushed the bar over the edge?
It was ridickulous.
Junk foods are so versatile!
A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election!
Pinocchio is having issues in bed.
He goes to his doctor, and says his girlfriend is complaining about splinters. The doctor tells him to apply some sandpaper to his junk and see if that helps.
A week later the doc sees Pinocchio skipping down the street and asks how his girlfriend is doing.
"Who needs a girlfriend?"
What is a junkies favorite drink?
Hepsi
Girl, you must be a trash can...
Because I want to t**... top and stick my junk in you.
If Jazz and Funk fusion is called "Junk"...
What is Funk and Rock fusion called?
What do you call trash that is 3 feet high?
A junk yard.
What do you call a British chick with junk in the trunk?
A dame with rubbish in her boot.
What's another name for a n**... beach?
A junk yard.
I'll never forget the first woman that ever saw my junk
She grounded me for m**...
What's a junkies favorite food?
s**... and cheese
I've decided to open a gay s**... club. I'll call it...
One Man's Junk.
I messed up today by sending a picture of my junk to everyone in my contact list.
Cost me a fortune in stamps too.
How do you get other people to pay you to haul away your old junk?
Tell them it's a garage sale.
You can tell if a guy is gay or straight by
You can tell if a guy is gay or straight by how he emphasizes in the phrase:
"One man's junk is another man's treasure"
My j**... neighbor's girlfriend finally left him...
I guess she was tired of his s**... talk.
Why did the j**... keep accidentally calling his dealer?
Because he had him on speed dial.
I've decided to start sitting to pee instead of standing.
People may think it's weird, but I just really like the way the u**... cradles my junk.
What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them?
dicktator tots
Two junkies are sitting on opposite sides of a table
The first j**... says "You know, its a thin line between you and me"
What's a junkies favourite cheese?
Blue vein
People don't understand me
I only really get mad as a joke at people but you know most people don't really get it. They're like stop throwing things at me and junk like that.
Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I'm returning this piece of junk to Ikea.
An interesting comparison between the love of my life and a garbage can.
Many men put their junk inside.
A j**... was disappointed after smoking c**....
He said it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
You know what they say about gay relationships...
One man's junk is another man's treasure.
I don't know what all the fuss is about seeing Jeff Bezo's junk...
We already know he has a prime member.
One man's trash is another man's treasure...
That is until my friend found out I was digging through his wife's junk
What does a j**... have in common with a quiet kid?
Shooting up
Why don't junkies like a good male protagonist in a story?
Because they prefer heroine.
My wife accidentally ordered way too many chicken strips for lunch
She was quite upset about, as she hates wasting food. My daughter I were quite happy to have some tasty junk food for dinner though. I said to my wife "We could do this again, I don't mind eating KFC. I hope this wasn't just a s**... tease!"
Apparently Stormy Daniels was misquoted, and what she actually said was that Trump's junk looked like A Little Potato. You know...
A little *d**...-tater*
I think Louis c**... has been misunderstood.
He was testing out new material. He just wanted to see whether women would laugh at his junk!
Two old men sitting on a park bench discussing their junk
First one says, I'll bet you mine is longer soft than yours is hard.
Second one says, That's ridiculous. I've known you my whole life. Never have you, _or your wife_, bragged of such a thing.
Fifty bucks says mine is longer soft than yours is hard.
You're on. How long is yours soft?
Seventeen years.
