Junk Food Jokes

Following is our collection of Junk Food funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best Junk Food jokes

Two days into my diet I removed all the junk food from my house....

.....and it was delicious

A doctor on his morning walk noticed an old lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar

A doctor on his morning walk noticed an old lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar



So he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"




"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. '"Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."



'"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"



"Thirty-four," she replied.

Tumblr is like junk food

They're both filled with trans fat.

My friend made a joke and wants to know if it's good. Let me know what you think

There is two doctors one old and one young, and the old doctor is teaching the younger doctor about house calls, they go to the first house and the old doctors like I'll teach you how it's done, and he asks the woman what's wrong? And the woman replies I've been full and not that hungry much . The doctor drops his stethoscope and looks around the trash and notices empty chip bags and candy rappers around the trash can. And the doctor than says you need to lay off the junk food. They leave and the older doctor explains to the younger doctor how he did it. And they go to the next house and the younger doctor says I'll try this one." the girl says she has been to tired lately. The younger doctor droped his stethoscope and and picked it up, and told the woman to lay off the church work and religion stuff. The lady said okay I'll try that and see how it works they leave and the older doctor asks how the did you do that one and the younger doctor said When I dropped my stethoscope I noticed the priest underneath her bed

"New Years resoultion"

I have been reading so many bad things lately about how all the bad things sugar and junk food could do to me, so my New Years resoultion is no more reading 😊

I had such a strange dream last night...

everything was reversed. Vegans were eating meat. Christians were having un-married sex. Bodybuilders were fat and eating junk food. And the weirdest of all I was getting laid.

Junk foods are so versatile!

A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election!

Why did the zombie not eat your brain?

Because he doesn't eat junk food.

A man walks into a fast food restaurant, followed by a priest.

What can I get you today? Says the cashier.

I'll have one cheeseburger and a kid sized chicken nugget portion please.

The priest asks the man What are you getting the kid sized portion for?

Well, says the man my lazy 7 year old isn't doing his chores and says he won't do anything unless I get him some chicken nuggets. He says he'll do anything after I get him some.

He'll do anything? Asks the priest.

Yeah, I reckon any kid would do whatever you want for a bit of junk food. Says the man jokingly.

The priest thinks long and hard and says to the cashier

I'll have 20 kid sized chicken nugget portions please.

I have been trying to lose weight so I've been keeping my junk food in the basement.

This makes it cellary.

Two days into my diet I removed all the junk food from my house....

...now I'm eating from my trashcan.

I've been reading so much about the bad effects of smoking, drinking, junk food and sex that ..

I've finally decided to give up reading

What's a homeless man's favourite type of food?

Junk food

What is a cannibals favorite junk food?

HANDburgers

What is a beavers favorite junk food?

Woodchips

What do garbage man eat?

Junk food

My love life is a lot like a celery stick

I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me.

My wife says she is no longer buying junk food for the family because, "

Everyone just eats it."

I used to eat a lot of junk food and do Fortnite dances

But my dad told me you are what you yeet.

Most redittors would make excellent Presidents.

We already sleep, eat junk food, watch TV and post on social media 21 hours a day.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes