Jumping To Conclusions Jokes
52 jumping to conclusions jokes and hilarious jumping to conclusions puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jumping to conclusions that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Jumping To Conclusions Short Jokes
Short jumping to conclusions jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jumping to conclusions humour may include short jump into conclusion jokes also.
- I asked my parachute instructor what happens if it doesn't open. He said you're jumping to a conclusion.
- I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises... Other than jumping to conclusions.
- Why did the conspiracy theorist have such strong legs? Because he spent so much time jumping to conclusions
- What's faster than the speed of light? The speed of *how fast my wife jumps to conclusions*
- I'm pretty sure someone hid the last paragraph of my essay on a shelf that I can't reach, But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
- Man to friend: " The doctor told my wife she should do some exercise." Friend: "And is she doing this?
Man: "Well, she is - if jumping to conclusions and running up bills can be called exercise!" - the say the average redditor doesn't exercise, but they're wrong! I just spent an hour jumping *to conclusions* and running *my mouth*!
- Whenever you hear someone say... ...Bush did 9/11. Simply tell them "Don't JUMP to conclusions."
Thanks /u/Hammi1 - My wife loves sports... Her favorite position is beside herself, and her favorite sport is jumping to conclusions.
- I tell people to hold their horses before jumping to conclusions. I just want them to have stable lives.
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Jumping To Conclusions One Liners
Which jumping to conclusions one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jumping to conclusions? I can suggest the ones about overreacting and missing the point.
- I wonder how many calories women burn by... ... jumping to conclusions.
- What do you call Skydiving when the parachute doesn't work?
Jumping to a conclusion.. - What's a woman's favorite sport? Jumping to conclusions!
- Confucius say... man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.
- Interviewer : This says you tend to jump to conclusions . Me: So I'm hired?
- What do you call it when your parachute doesn't open? Jumping to conclusion
- My girlfriend must burn a lot of calories per day She's always jumping to conclusions
- There should be a Olympic sport just for women Name it 500m jump to conclusions
- I hate people who are quick to jump to conclusions... I just assume they are all r**....
Jumping To Conclusions Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about jumping to conclusions you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jumping jack jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jumping to conclusions pranks.
A blonde visits her doctor...
... and says to him: "Doc, I am in total agony. Every single part of my body just hurts so much!"
The doctor asks her to give some examples, and she proceeds to touch her forehead. Upon doing this, she screams from pain. She touches her shoulders and tears appear in her eyes. She reaches for her stomach and she starts jumping around due to the pain. After touching her knees and being in pain again, she begs the doctor if she could please stop giving him examples where it hurts, she just wants a remedy.
The doc looks at her for a while, before coming to the conclusion: "Ma'am, your fingers seem to be broken..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
an engineer, a scientist, a mathematician, and a sheep
A engineer, a scientist, and a mathematician are riding through Scotland on a train. Looking out the window they see a black sheep.
"Who knew that Scottish sheep were black?!" exclaims the engineer.
"Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves," admonished the scientist. "All we know is that one sheep in Scotland is black."
At this point the mathematician pipes up: "Hey, both of you are jumping to conclusions. All we really know is that one SIDE of one sheep in Scotland is black.
How my girlfriend stay's thin.
Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?
She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.
I think the professor wants us to skip most of this essay
Or maybe I'm just jumping to a conclusion.
A scientist is doing some tests on an ant ...
... And he asks the ant to jump. "Jump!," he says.
And the ant jumps.
He writes in his notebook, "Ant responds well to being asked to jump."
Then, he cuts off one of the ant's legs and says, "Ant, jump!"
...and the ant jumps!
He writes in his notebook, "When an ant has 5 legs, it will still jump."
Then, he cuts off another of the ant's legs and says, "Ant, jump!" ... and the ant jumps! Quite impressed, the scientist writes in his notebook, "Incredible! When an ant has 4 legs, it will still jump!"
He proceeds to cut off each leg and asks it to jump, which to his surprise, the ant still manages to do with ease. The scientists records all of these findings.
Eventually, he cuts the last leg off the ant. "Ant, jump!," he requests.
... The ant does not move.
Mr. Scientist, happy to have reached a conclusion, writes in his journal: "Once an ant has had all of its legs cut off, it becomes deaf."
My daily regime
My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out. So I listed the exercises I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.
So, my feminist cousin is diabetic and recently, her legs were amputated...
...safe to say, she won't be jumping to conclusions anytime soon.
A Customer bought a parachute from me
I realised after selling it that it was defective.
He hasn't come back to return it.
I wonder if he has jumped to a conclusion of not coming back.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'd like to commit s**... to get rid of my indecisiveness
but I don't wanna jump into conclusions.
Experimenting on a frog
----Experiment log #1938----
Removed the front legs of a frog and asked it to jump. The frog jumped.
Conclusion: when you remove the front legs of a frog, it can still jump.
___________________________________________
Removed the back legs of a frog. Asked it to jump. The frog jumped.
Conclusion: When you remove the back legs of a frog, it can still jump.
___________________________________________
Removed all the legs of a frog. Asked it to jump. The frog did not jump.
Conclusion: When you remove all the legs of a frog, it becomes deaf.
In lieu of recent event, J.K. Rowling must have left the last chapter of Harry Potter on top of her fridge.
She is jumping to conclusions.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the rabbit police officer say when it was investigating a m**...?
"We shouldn't jump to conclusions"
I saw a man at standing on the precipice of a cliff and knew he was paranoid.
He jumped to a conclusion.
I'm pretty sure someone stole the last paragraph of my essay, and hid it on a really high shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
Not original, and not sure if it's been posted before, but it made me chuckle and thought I'd share.
The Scientist and the Frog
A scientist wanted to test how far a frog could jump, so he trained it to jump on command.
The scientist said "jump" and the frog jumped an amazing 2.6 meters.
The scientist then cut off one of the frog's legs, and said "jump". Unsurprisingly the frog only jumped 2.1 meters.
The scientist cuts off another leg, and the frog only jumped 1.3 meters.
Again, another leg gets cut off, and the frog jumps 0.3 meters.
The scientist cuts off the last leg and says "jump". To his surprise, the frog doesn't jump. The scientist repeats himself a few time, but the frog does not jump.
The scientist sighs, and writes the conclusion of his experiment.
*When all 4 legs cut off... frog goes deaf*
A scientist performed an expirement on a spider...
He put the spider on a table and told it to jump, and it did. Then, he plucked off one of its legs and told it to jump, and it jumped again, but not as high as the first time. The scientist did this again and again, taking off another leg each time until all of its legs were gone. When the spider had no legs, he told it to jump. It just laid there, not jumping.
The scientist's conclusion: Spiders without legs are deaf.
A man assumed he could fly so he jumped off of the roof of the Empire State Building
I guess you could say he jumped to his conclusion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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People always jump to ridiculous conclusions.
Like thinking, for some reason, that my dads are gay.
I get plenty of exercise.
I'm frequently jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
Why should you never get in an argument with a pogo stick?
They always jump to conclusions.
New company sponsored exercise program
Now that we are all back at work from COVID, we have started a new exercise program. It includes such wonderful exercises as:
Running amok
Jumping to conclusions
Passing the buck
Point fingers
Climbing the walls
And my favorite exercise of all... diddly squats!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I really don't understand how Karen's aren't in better shape...
They're always stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions
I went for a job interview
And at the end they asked me, So, last question: what would you say is your worst quality?
Worst quality? , I replied, well I've been told that I often jump to conclusions...
Hmm, ok. Well, thanks very much for coming in, we'll be in touch
No problem! See you Monday!
I have been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito, either. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips, thanks to my friends and family.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump and I'm not much on physical activity.