Jumping Rope Jokes
27 jumping rope jokes and hilarious jumping rope puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jumping rope that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jumping Rope Short Jokes
Short jumping rope jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jumping rope humour may include short jump rope jokes also.
- An emo and a leaf jump off a tree. Which one falls first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo
- a**... Asphyxiation.... How do you even get into something like that? Do you just jump in head first or do you have someone show you the ropes?
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Jumping Rope One Liners
Which jumping rope one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jumping rope? I can suggest the ones about jumping and jumping jack.
- What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a snake? A jump rope.
- "I swear to god, if you get any closer I'm going to jump!" Said the man to the jump rope.
- Have you heard the one about the jump rope never mind, just skip it.
- I was gonna make a jump rope joke But decided to skip it. It's not good
- did you hear the one about the jump rope? skip it
- How does a sloth hang itself? By trying to jump rope.
- What's an something that would make you jump even if you knew it was coming? A jump rope.
- Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
- Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope! - What do mechanics skip rope with? Jump leads...
Jumping Rope Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about jumping rope you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean box jump jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jumping rope pranks.
A guy wants to commit s**...
A guy wants to commit s**... but he has tried in the past and failed. This time he is ready and has a failsafe plan. He decides that he is going to s**... poison, shoot himself in the head and hang himself at the same time. He goes to the local bridge and ties a rope around the railing. He places the noose around his neck, puts the gun to his temple and takes a mouthful of poison and jumps. The gun goes off and he misses his head and the bullet cuts the rope in half. He screams as he falls into the water below. The water rushes into his mouth and washes the poison away. He swims to shore and says " Thank God, if I hadn't been able to swim I might have drowned."
A pig and a cat were walking down a dirt path.
The pig was very s**..., so the cat had to explain everything to him.
When the cat was talkin to the pig about something, he accidentally fell down a deep pit.
He asked the pig to go back to their house and grab a rope.
The pig soon returned with a sturdy long rope.
The cat said : Throw it down !
So the pig threw the whole rope down the pit.
The cat: you idiot...you were supposed to grab hold of one end!!
The pig after thinkin a while, jumpe down the pit and grabbed hod of the rope.
I was walking through the park this morning, when I saw a man, standing on a tree branch, with a rope around his neck...
I asked him what was happening and he screamed, "After I jump, everyone will dearly miss me when they recall that I hung myself!"
I immediately assured him that that would not be the case, even if he jumped, right there, in front of my very eyes, that's not what people will say!!
Tears welling in his eyes, he jumped.
As he was jumping, I said, "After you jump, everyone will dearly miss you when they recall that you *hanged* yourself!!"
There once was an old cathedral in rural England...
There once was an old cathedral in rural England. It was near a small village and most of the people that lived there attended church every week. This was a sad time for the people of this village, as the much beloved bell ringer for the church had fallen ill and died.
The head minister of this cathedral had taken the death quite hardly, as he had been good friends with the man. Reluctantly, he put up a notice in the village square that they would be needing a replacement bell ringer. He knew that a man for the job was needed before the f**... of the old ringer.
Now, the day after notice was posted, the minister was in his study reading when a young man no older than 20 walked in. The minister looked up and asked, "What can I do for you, young man?"
The man, visibly eager to speak, replied, "I'm here about the posting you've made. I want to be the next bell ringer." There was an enthusiasm on this man's face that caught the minister's attention.
The minister, somewhat recognizing this enthusiasm, inquired, "Well that may be something we could discuss. But first, I must know, have I seen you here at the church or around town? You seem rather familiar."
"No, sir, I don't believe we've met before," the man replied.
"Ah, well then, it's very nice to make your acquaintance," said the minister. He reached out to shake the young man's hand, when he noticed something very out of the ordinary. The man had no arms! The minister pulled back his hand and apologized for the gesture.
"It's no problem, sir, I've been without them for my whole life, I'm quite used to that." The man redirected the conversation back to the job. "Now, I'd really like to talk about becoming the next bell ringer!"
The minister, slightly taken aback, wondered whether the armless man was serious. "My dear boy, surely you must be joking. You've got no arms! I mean no offense, but there is no way you could pull those heavy ropes to ring the bells."
The young man still had an eagerness about him, insisting that the minister give him a shot. "I can do it, let me show you! Please sir, I know I can do it. Come with me up the bell tower and I'll show you!"
At this point, the minister was wondering whether the man had some sort of brain damage as well. There was absolutely no way a man with no arms could ring those bells. But, being the generous man that he was, the minister decided to at least humor the man and go up into the bell tower with him.
Once they reached the top of the tower where the bells were held, the minister asked how the young man was going to ring them. "Like this," he simply replied with an odd smile on his face. The man took some step back towards one open arches that made up the bell tower, disregarding the ropes that hung next to him. He began walking slowly, then burst into a sprint, jumped, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the bell.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG
The minister couldn't believe it. This armless man had just mad the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard come out of that bell. Astounded, he turned to the man and exclaimed, "Dear boy, did you really just do that?"
Unfazed, the young man responded excitedly, "Yes sir! Would you like me to do it again?" Without waiting for an answer, the man once again stepped back to the arch, took a running start, jumped, and smacked his forehead against the bell.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG
Now, the minister was truly speechless. Although his previous thoughts about brain damage were almost certainly proven, he simply could not believe how beautiful the sound was that the bell made. He looked at the man, seeing no sign of harm to his head, but only a smile that showed how confident he was. The minister then made the final decision to make this young man the next bell ringer.
A few days had passed, and it was time for the f**... for the former ringer. Nearly the entire village showed up to mourn his passing. As the f**... dragged on as only funerals can, the newly appointed ringer made his way up the tower to give the bells a good BWONG-ing after the final eulogy had ended. This was his biggest break, his chance to show the entire village that he could be a great ringer. The excitement from that first day had swelled up until this point.
He listed for the sound of the last "Amen" from the congregation. It was his time now. The armless man closed his eyes to take it all in. After a deep sigh, he took some steps back, broke into a run, jumped, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the bell. Then, to his surprise, he tripped on a large old nail as he landed, stumbled toward one of the arches, and, unable to balance himself, fell out of the tower to his death.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG ... ... ... SPLAT!
The f**...-goers heard this strange sound and all rushed outside to see what was the matter. To their surprise, they found the newly appointed ringer dead on the ground. The crowd began talking among themselves, wondering who knew this man and whether any of his family was present. One man thought he had recognized the deceased man earlier with a family, but couldn't quite put his finger on it whether it was him or not. Everyone could agree that this man looked familiar.
As the minister finally reached the body through the crowd, he knelt down and wept beside him. A woman in the crowd asked, "Father, did you know who this man was?"
"No," he solemnly answered, "but his face sure rang a bell."
So this entrepreneur is setting up a bungee jumping tower in Mexico.
And of course all the construction and publicity has garnered a crowd. Well the entrepreneur, seeing an opportunity to wow the crowd, volunteers to be the first person to jump. So he is strapped in and over the edge he goes, and the crowd goes wild. But when his crew goes to retrieve him after his jump, he is all beaten and bloodied. They ask if he hit the ground or something. He says "Well... we should probably shorten the rope a little more... also, what does 'piñata' mean?