Jumping Jack Jokes
23 jumping jack jokes and hilarious jumping jack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jumping jack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jumping Jack Short Jokes
Short jumping jack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jumping jack humour may include short jumping jokes also.
- I went to the local buy and sell to see if there were any cool old jack in the boxes. But nothing jumped out at me.
- GoT joke: What do you call a Dothraki who does jumping jacks every morning? Khal Isthenics.
- We should be more appreciative of Apple. We don't have to do jumping jacks anymore, just jumping.
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Jumping Jack One Liners
Which jumping jack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jumping jack? I can suggest the ones about jack jill and jacks.
- Why did the cow do jumping jacks? She wanted a milk shake
- What is Jack's favorite game ? Trampoline - you jump, I jump.
- Yo momma is so fat if she does jumping jacks in high heels she will strike oil!
- Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over the delineator.
- Though Jack be nimble, and Jack be quick, Jack can't jump over
The iCandlestick - n**... man doing jumping jacks... db qp db qp db qp db qp
Jumping Jack Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about jumping jack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jumping rope jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jumping jack pranks.
An amateur golfer playing in his first tournament
was delighted when a beautiful girl came up to him after the round and suggested he come over for a while. The fellow was a bit embarrassed to explain that he really couldn't stay all night but that he'd be glad to come over for a while. Twenty minutes later they were in he bed making love. When it was over, he got out of bed and started getting dressed.
"Hey," called the girl from beneath the covers, "where do you think you're going? Arnold Palmer wouldn't leave so early."
At that he the golfer stripped off his clothes and jumped on top of her. After they'd made love a second time, he got out of bed and put his pants back on.
"What are you up to?" she called. "Jack Nicklaus wouldn't think of leaving now." So the golfer pulled off his pants and s**... her a third time, and afterward he started to get dressed.
"C'mon, you can't leave yet," protested the girl. "Tiger Woods wouldn't call it a day."
"Lady, would you tell me one thing?" asked the golfer, looking at her very seriously. "What's par for this hole?"
There are three lumber jacks.
There is an Italian guy, a Polish guy, and a Chinese guy. The boss puts the Italian guy in charge of cutting down the trees, the Polish guy in charge of carrying the logs and the Chinese guy in charge of supplies. He tells the men he'll be back in a few hours to check on their progress. When he returns, the Italian guy is chopping the trees and the Polish guy is carrying the logs, but he can't find the Chinese guy. All he sees is a wall of boxes stacked up. As he walks towards the boxes, the Chinese guy jumps out from behind them and yells "SUPPLIES!"
Three men are at church. One of them is a union worker.
Three men are in Church one Sunday morning, one of them belongs to the local union. Before the service they complain amongst themselves of their various ailments and injuries.
Jesus hears them, and he appears before these gentlemen. "Tell me your troubles my children."
"Lord. I can not stand up straight or go a day without pain, thanks to a back injury i suffered years ago." The first man says.
"Be healed, Child." Jesus says. The man immediately stands stall and does jumping jacks, feeling true relief.
"Lord, I can barely see. I was blinded by a flash-bang in Iraq, I need these thick glasses just to function." The second man says. Jesus takes his glasses away and they crumble into fine powder. the man can see with perfect 20-20 vision.
The union worker, seeing this, shouts "Don't touch me! I'm on permanent disability!"
A blond is hiking through the woods when she hears someone counting up ahead.
She emerges from the tree line to find a brunette doing jumping jacks on a set of train tracks repeating, "10, 10, 10..." upon every jump.
The blonde says to the brunette, "Excuse me for wondering, but what exactly are you doing?"
The brunette replies, "It's a great game I just learned called '10' but I have no one to play with. Want to join me?"
"You bet!" So the blonde jumps onto the train tracks with glee and they both do jumping jacks and count together for a several minutes.
As you suspect, it wasn't long before the a train comes barreling around the bend striking the blonde but missing the brunette who jumps off in the nick of time.
The brunette, completely unphased, gets back on the tracks and begins jumping and counting again.
"11, 11, 11..."
A fine country lady is hosting a dinner party
and she wants to serve her famous Mushroom Soup. She invites over the whole neighborhood for dinner. The day of her big event she runs out of mushrooms and the small country store is sold out. She panics! "What evah shall I do??" she pleads to her husband.
"Well" he says "There are lots of mushrooms growing back in the cow pasture. We could use those." "Absolutely not!" she yells. "Those might be poisonous!"
He replies "Tell ya what, I'll go back and pick some and you make a small batch of soup. We'll feed it to the dog, Jack. If he is OK in an hour or so, we'll know they're OK". With no other options, she agrees. He goes and gets the mushrooms, she makes up some soup and old Jack just LOVES it. He horfs it right down and is just happy as a clam.
Few hours go by and old Jack is just dandy. The lady of the house goes into full Dinner Party mode. She is running behind schedule now so she calls the neighbor girl over to help her prepare. The lady figures she should warn the girl about Jack but doesn't want to confess the whole story. She tells the girl to just keep a CLOSE EYE on Jack, that he is very special to the family, and to let her know if anything comes up.
A few hours later the guests start to arrive and they all sit down for an absolutely wonderful presentation of Mushroom Soup. The guests are raving about it. They can't get enough. Everyone is just having a wonderful evening,..
When all the sudden the neighbor girl bursts into the room in hysterics! "OLD JACK IS DEAD!!!!" she cries. "HE'S DEAD, JUST.. DEAD!!"
The country lady immediately jumps into action. She calls the paramedics, the hospital and the police! They all arrive quickly and begin pumping stomaches and administering anti-poison medicines. People are puking in the yard, screaming, and crying. Ambulance after Ambulance comes and goes with guest after guest for what seems like hours.
Finally.. at 5am an exhausted lady and her helpful neighbor girl are setting in the kitchen trying to take stock in what happened. The neighbor girl looks over at the lady and says
"It really is a shame. The guy that ran over old Jack didn't even stop."
An old one my late grandmother used to tell
In a Catholic school English classroom, a nun was giving the lesson.
"Today, children, we'll be talking about rhyme. Does anyone have a rhyme they'd like to share?"
Several little hands shot up. The nun pointed to the smallest girl, Sally, in the front.
"Hey, d**..., d**...,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon."
"Very good, Sally." said the nun. "Who else?" She called on a little boy, Jack.
"It has my name in it!
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe."
"Wonderful rhyme, Jack!" replied the nun. Now, in the back of the class sat Michael. Michael came from a loud Irish family and was known as a troublemaker. The nun had tried to pick the other students before him, but he was beginning to make a commotion so she sighed and called out "yes, Michael."
"I've got a rhyme for you, Sister" he said.
"Mary came from Boston, Mass. and went into the water up to her knees."
"Michael," began the nun, "that doesn't rhyme."
"Oh, I know Sister. But wait until the tide comes in."
A blond and a redhead
(sorry if this is a repost or anything, just a funny joke I remember hearing a while back)
A blond notices a redhead doing jumping jacks beside a railroad track. For a while, the blond watches and notices the redhead keeps repeating the number 88 after each jumping jack. Shrugging this off, the blond decides to join the redhead and starts doing jumping jacks next to her. After a while a train comes by and hits the blond. The redhead stops and looks to where the blond was just standing, then starts her jumping jacks again. "89, 89, 89...."
Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border.
They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business.
By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.
Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.
John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up.
Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed.
John came down again and sprang back up.
This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds.
The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.
Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.
John replied, "I’m not sure. Do you know what 'pinata' means?"