July Jokes
141 july jokes and hilarious july puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about july that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
July is a great time to commemorate with laughter. With Christmas in July and Dry July, why not start the month off with a round of July jokes? With June being the last full month of the summer and September just around the corner, it’s time to get your funny bone ready for some lighthearted laughing.
Best Short July Jokes
Short july jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The july humour may include short 4th of july jokes also.
- 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
- As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July. It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.
- I don't see why we Brits don't celebrate the 4th of July. Surely 239 years of being officially separate from America is something to be happy about.
- My daughter was born this morning, July 4th. It's the day I lost my independence.
(This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well). - This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.
- Fourth of July, The only time of the year an American can say the day and month in the correct order.
- If 9/11 had happened in July... 7/11's brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.
- This 4th of July, the British should celebrate independence day too. Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.
- How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, august 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
- Happy Fourh of July "Hey England, Happy Fourh of July."
"Where's the T?"
"We threw it in the harbor."
Merica.
Quick Jump To
- Short July Jokes
- July One Liners
- 4th Of July Jokes
- Fourth Of July Jokes
- Christmas In July Jokes
- July 2020 Jokes
- More July Jokes
Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about july can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of july puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !
Share These July Jokes With Friends
July One Liners
Which july one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with july? I can suggest the ones about fourth of july and celebrate.
- Hey girl, are you a parked car in July? Because I want to leave a baby in you.
- Mom, why am I getting christmas gifts in July? Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.
- June is already over? Julying
- HAPPY FOURH OF JULY Looking for the T?
It's in Boston Harbor. - Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year Hers is in February and mine in July
- My dad said everything would be back to normal by June So I told him yesterday "Julyed"
- Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire. Fire-works on 4th of July.
- Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
- My son is a man trapped inside a womans body. He'll be born in July.
- I have never understood why people abbreviate July as Jul. i mean seriously y?
- I brought a date to the 4th of July party... ...really sweetened up the fruit salad.
- What is a holocaust denier's favourite month? JULY
- You're like school in July... No class
- How is looking up your symptoms on WebMD like your July Horoscope? It's probably cancer.
- What do you say when your friend says it's June 31st? July'd.
4th Of July Jokes
Here is a list of funny 4th of july jokes and even better 4th of july puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I held a door open for an Asian guy and he said "sank you" so i punched him in the face. Serves him right for bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
PS: Happy 4th of July - Today in the UK we celebrate the 4th of July. The day the average IQ of the British Empire jumped 100 points with a single signature.
- What's the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th? There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.
- Brits have more reason than most to celebrate 4th of July Surely 241 years of officially being separated from America is something to be happy about
- July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
- On a blind date, the girl told me, Tell me a little bit about yourself. Me: I'm terrible with dates.
Her: Don't worry. You're doing fine so far.
Me: Christmas is on July 4th. - Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead
- Not everyone has off for the 4th of July.. Fire works.
- The 4th of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
- Where did the fire go on 4th of july? Firework
Fourth Of July Jokes
Here is a list of funny fourth of july jokes and even better fourth of july puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Everyone enjoys the Fourth of July. Except fire. Fire works on the Fourth of July.
- Happy Fourth of July Guys! I hope Internet Explorer sends this in time.
- What do they call the Fourth of July in Hawaii? Dependence day.
- Happy early 4th of July everyone And to those who've been a defendant a fourth time then happy 4th of jury
- What do they call the fourth of July outside of the USA? The fourth of July
- Does England have a Fourth of July? They do, they just don't celebrate it.
- What did the parrot want in the Fourth of July? A firecracker
- What do you call laundry day when it's on the Fourth of July? Washington
- What's the difference between a cow and the Fourth of July? You can't milk a cow for over 240 years.
- On this Fourth of July, just remember... He who comes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the Fifth.
Christmas In July Jokes
Here is a list of funny christmas in july jokes and even better christmas in july puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters? Christmas in July
- I'm going to give my neighbors calendars for Christmas. They obviously don't know when 4th of July is because I hear fireworks everywhere.
- He says to his wife: "Sleeping with you is like Christmas, Birthday and the 4th of July in a single moment." To which she replies: "Well, each of those dates is just once per year too."
July 2020 Jokes
Here is a list of funny july 2020 jokes and even better july 2020 puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you had told me back on NYE all the sh*t that'd happen in the first half of 2020... I would've said, Don't July.
- Christopher Nolan's film about the war on the Drugs to release in July 2020. To star Michael c**... and Christian Bail
Comical & Quirky July Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about july you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean fireworks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make july prank.
Number 7
Mark dreams number 7.
He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.
He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.
Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.
Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.
The horse comes seventh.
Need help: looking for parade jokes. (I know, right?)
I was asked to announce the 4th of July parade in my small hometown. Was wondering if anyone here has been at a parade and heard something funny.
The only thing to work off of right now is that Josh Duhmel is announcing the 4th of July parade in a larger town about 20 minutes away.
Thanks
4th of july
British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July.
When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea
In which month should you not trust a Jew?
July!
-bored on a 28 hour road trip. It was the best we could do.
Rioters are like school in July.
No class.
What do they do for the 4th of July in England?
Sulk.
Hey England, Happy Fourh of July!!!
Britain: "What happened to the T?"
America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"
What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?
That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community.
Haha, happy late 4th of July.
Her: "Honey, I want to be with you 24/7"
Him: "Ok, see you on the 24th of July"
When is a rabbi dishonest?
July
I just asked my dad what his favourite part about being a teacher is...
He responded with June, July, and August
I got this joke while watching Scrubs
Turk: You are like School in July
JD: Why
Turk: No Class
I beat cancer once!
Technically, I beat up a guy born between June 22 and July 22.
Every 4th of July, America sends Britain a locket with a little tiny picture of the United States in it. They want to remind the crown that America is still...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
In *da* pendent
4th July
If the 4th of July is independence Day, why isn't 17th February Shawshank redemption day? It was a much better film.
Why do Pakistanis celebrate July 4th?
Because all the drone pilots are on vacation
What did May tell June when they were fighting?
Don't July to me
Subscribers to Bread Enthusiast Monthly were upset when the July edition was all about flat bread. They said it was too big of a change from all the magazine's usual topics.
In actuality, it was a naan-issue.
Something really important must've happened on July 24th, 365 AD.
All of the supermarkets near me say "24/7/365".
What did August say when June claimed that today is the last day of the month?
Don't July to me!
A friend has 2 tickets in a corporate box for the World cup final game Sun 15th July He paid £500 each including flights but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding! He is looking for someone to take his place
It's at Sheffield Town Hall at 4pm. Her name is Nicola -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook. Message me for more details.
June's over...
Julying!
The FBI just thwarted a July 4th t**... attack in Cleveland.
But they couldn't stop LeBron from dropping a bomb on the city last night.
This 4th of July, remember: Alcohol and Fireworks do NOT mix
Spilling even a little beer on a fuse can ruin fireworks.
Nothing important happened today
- King George III, 4 July 1776
Can confirm: England Does have a 4th of July
And we even get it first!
July 4th, 1776
British: Just saying it, doesn't make you independent..
Thomas Jefferson: I didn't say it, I declared it.
My dog hates the 4th of July
Not because of the fireworks or anything, he's just going through a communist phase right now
Merry 4th of July! The difference between Uncle Sam and Santa Claus is...
Santa Claus gives notes with his presents... Uncle Sam takes note of your presence.
Amidst all of the distractions on this 4th of July, let's not forget what we're celebrating
That the British blew a 13 colony lead
I put a picture of the USA in a heart locket to celebrate the 4th of July...
Now it is truly independent
James A. Garfield was shot on Saturday, July 2, 1881.
He died months later, on Monday, September 19, 1881.
Garfield hates Mondays.
You should cut people born between June 21st and July 22nd out of your life...
They're Cancer.
7
One night I was dreaming the number 7, over an over. To my amazement, when I woke up it was 7 o'clock, on July the 7th. So I took the bus on line 7 straight to the racetrack and bet 7777$ on the 7th horse from the 7th round. It finished on 7th.
What month celebrates Holocaust deniers?
July.
White people are cancer
if they were born between June 21 and July 22.
Asking someone's favorite month (Bar joke)
A man walks into a bar and asks the guys beside him
Hmm do you have a favorite month?
The guy replied
Yes July
The man then asks
Why July?
The guy replies again
No no no July is actually my favorite month I didn't lie
WNBA announces plan to play abbreviated 22-game season in Florida beginning in late July without fans in attendance.
Come on. Do I even have to type the punchline for this one?
July in Honolulu
July in Honolulu is a tough time flower-wise for making garlands. Often they run out of the desired plumerias, carnations, and orchids. When that happens, they have to make substitutions, which is why the Hawaiians refer to July's garlands as the Daisy Leis of Summer
My girlfriend broke up with me on July 4th.
She said she needed more independence.
If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore...
It will be a monumental disaster.
Last year I blew all my fingers off on the 4th of July
And now my friends say they don't trust me. They say they can't count on me.
Why doesn't America knock?
Because freedom rings!
Happy 4th of July!
Most people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July
Except fire. Fire works on the 4th of July.
Many veterans experience PTSD from the loud bangs of fireworks around holidays like 4th of July and New Years. My advice to them is to use noise-cancelling headphones, Netflix, and pharmaceutical-grade w**....
Just like the children of Kabul.
What do TikTok and people born in July have in common?
They both are cancer
Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.
4th of July
A lot of people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July. Not fire though.
Fire works on July 4th
The Emperor Nero was struggling with deciding his gender.
He spent months waffling back and forth until finally in July of AD 64 he decided to make his decision public.
Everything in Rome was fine until that gender reveal party.
Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!
Discover more jokes
- Funny Dead Dad jokes short one-liners
- Funny Tighter Than puns short one-liners
- Funny Irish jokes short one-liners
- Funny Leprechaun puns short one-liners
- Funny Cut Off Finger puns short one-liners
- Funny Autistic puns short one-liners
- Funny Dark Skin puns short one-liners
- Funny Disabled jokes short one-liners
- Funny German jokes short one-liners
- Funny Irish Potato jokes short one-liners
- Funny Arab puns short one-liners
- Funny Fasting puns short one-liners
- Funny Asian puns short one-liners
- Funny Muslims puns short one-liners
- Funny Priest jokes short one-liners
The impact of these july jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.