July Jokes

Funniest July Short Jokes

Short july jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The july humour may include short 4th of july jokes also.

1. 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
2. As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July. It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.
3. I don't see why we Brits don't celebrate the 4th of July. Surely 239 years of being officially separate from America is something to be happy about.
4. My daughter was born this morning, July 4th. It's the day I lost my independence.
   (This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well).
5. This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.
6. If 9/11 had happened in July... 7/11's brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.
7. This 4th of July, the British should celebrate independence day too. Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.
8. How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, august 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
9. Happy Fourh of July "Hey England, Happy Fourh of July."
   "Where's the T?"
   "We threw it in the harbor."
   Merica.
10. I tell my friends I'm there for them 24/7. It sounds better than saying I'm there for them on the 24th of July.

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July One Liners

Which july one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with july? I can suggest the ones about fourth of july and celebrate.

1. Hey girl, are you a parked car in July? Because I want to leave a baby in you.
2. Mom, why am I getting christmas gifts in July? Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.
3. June is already over? Julying
4. HAPPY FOURH OF JULY Looking for the T?
   It's in Boston Harbor.
5. My dad said everything would be back to normal by June So I told him yesterday "Julyed"
6. Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire. Fire-works on 4th of July.
7. I have never understood why people abbreviate July as Jul. i mean seriously y?
8. I brought a date to the 4th of July party... ...really sweetened up the fruit salad.
9. You're like school in July... No class
10. How is looking up your symptoms on WebMD like your July Horoscope? It's probably cancer.
11. What do you say when your friend says it's June 31st? July'd.
12. Not everyone has off for the 4th of July.. Fire works.
13. The 4th of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
14. Where did the fire go on 4th of july? Firework
15. Is there a 4th of July in the UK? Yeah… right after the 3rd of July.

4th Of July Jokes

Here is a list of funny 4th of july jokes and even better 4th of july puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th? There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.
• July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
• On a blind date, the girl told me, Tell me a little bit about yourself. Me: I'm terrible with dates.
  Her: Don't worry. You're doing fine so far.
  Me: Christmas is on July 4th.
• Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead
• If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore... It will be a monumental disaster.
• I broke up with my girlfriend on the 4th of July... It was a Declaration of Independence.
• Why do Pakistanis celebrate July 4th? Because all the drone pilots are on vacation
• What kind of work do firefighters do on the 4th of July? Firework
• I put a picture of the USA in a heart locket to celebrate the 4th of July... Now it is truly independent
• My dog hates the 4th of July Not because of the fireworks or anything, he's just going through a communist phase right now

Fourth Of July Jokes

Here is a list of funny fourth of july jokes and even better fourth of july puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do they call the Fourth of July in Hawaii? Dependence day.
• Happy early 4th of July everyone And to those who've been a defendant a fourth time then happy 4th of jury
• What do they call the fourth of July outside of the USA? The fourth of July
• Does England have a Fourth of July? They do, they just don't celebrate it.
• What did the parrot want in the Fourth of July? A firecracker
• What do you call laundry day when it's on the Fourth of July? Washington
• What's the difference between a cow and the Fourth of July? You can't milk a cow for over 240 years.
• A limerick for The Isle of Skye When I was on the Isle of Skye
  I overdid the old Spanish fly
  I had a stiff member
  From the fourth of December
  Till Friday the tenth of July
• What does a pirate light on the Fourth of July? A m80.
• For dogs in the U.S. Sorry about the Fourth of July

Christmas In July Jokes

Here is a list of funny christmas in july jokes and even better christmas in july puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters? Christmas in July
• I'm going to give my neighbors calendars for Christmas. They obviously don't know when 4th of July is because I hear fireworks everywhere.
• He says to his wife: "Sleeping with you is like Christmas, Birthday and the 4th of July in a single moment." To which she replies: "Well, each of those dates is just once per year too."

July 5th Jokes

Here is a list of funny july 5th jokes and even better july 5th puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Does Britain have the 4th of July? Or do the calendars just go July 3rd, July 5th, July 6th?
• July 4th! How do you have fun on the 4th?
  And: Buy a 5th on the 3rd.
• What do you call a firecracker that doesn't go off until July 5th? A late boomer

Comical & Quirky July Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about july you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fireworks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make july pranks.