Julius Jokes
79 julius jokes and hilarious julius puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about julius that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Julius Short Jokes
Short julius jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The julius humour may include short gladiator jokes also.
- Julius Caesar: Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new? Brutus: Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's.
- What is the similarity between Julius Caesar and Tifa Lockhart? Both of them were witnessed getting impaled in the Italian senate...
- Last Halloween i dressed up as Julius Caesar, and my friends ditched me Talk about getting stabbed in the back
- What did Julius Caesar say when the French tribesmen rebelled against him? I can't believe you had the Gaul to do this.
You're driving me in-Seine. I can't handle this Rhine now. - The White House bar and restaurant, upon Trump's arrival, will reduce their beverage selections to just two choices: You can get a White Russian or an Orange Julius.
- One day in August, Julius Caesar was standing on the balcony in his palace, watching the leaves drop silently from the trees. He was witnessing….The Fall of the Roman Empire.
- Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome? He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
- What did the Senate say to Julius Caesar? You've got a lot of Gaul!
- Julius Caesar and Brutus are having a conversation Brutus asks: How many apples did you eat last night?
Julius responds: Et two, Brute. - Gaius Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered Gayus Julius Caesar: I saw, I conquered, I came
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Julius One Liners
Which julius one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with julius? I can suggest the ones about brute and julius caesar.
- Do you know about the Roman emperor who had epilepsy? It was Julius Seizure.
- Not everyone thinks that Cleopatra is beautiful... ... but that's the way Julius Caesar.
- Why was Julius Caesar's phone bill so high? Because he was Roman.
- What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors? A Julius Seizure.
- What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity? Veni, Vidi... Veni.
- What do you call a Roman dictator having an epileptic fit? Julius Seizure
- What did Julius Caesar say after he made love to his wife Veni
- Julius Caesar famously had a quick nap before crossing the Rubicon the rest is history
- Julius Ceasar after discovering Onlyfans "Veni, Vidi, Veni"
- Sometimes I envy Julius Caesar... He died surrounded by all of his friends.
- What were Julius Caesar's dying words? name... a salad.... after me...ahhh
- I have an epileptic cousin. His name? Julius Seizure
- What did Julius Caesar say towards the end of a passionate night with Cleopatra? "Veni."
- Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone? He didn't speak English.
- Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics? All that backstabbing was too much for him.
Julius Caesar Jokes
Here is a list of funny julius caesar jokes and even better julius caesar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Gaius Julius Caesar walks into a baguette shop. The owner stops him at the door and says: "I cannot believe you have the Gaul to just strut in here like that!"
- I discovered that Julius Caesar was so religious... that he died a holy man.
- What did Julius Caesar exclaim after years of impotency? Veni! Veni! Veni!
- Julius Caesar bought a Google GPS and said, 'Youtube, route us'.
- Julius Caesar walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and... says to the bartender *I'll have 5 beers, please*
- A lot of people say that Julius Caesar's invasion of France was "brave". I have to agree, but it took a lot of Gaul.
- What did Julius Caesar say when he was stabbed by Faye? Etouffee?
- It's Julius Caesar's death anniversary and no one remembers it It's a backstab to his memory
- How many puns can you make about the death of Julius Caesar?
- Julius Caesar's tree step program to getting girls
Rib-Tickling Julius Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about julius you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make julius pranks.
What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?
"Ecru, Brute?"
The night Julius Caesar met his wife
Julius Caesar is looking for a lady. A friend of his suggests a woman he knows. He meets the woman, and they go to his house. The next day, Caesar bumps into his friend again. The friend asks "how did it go"? Caesar replies, "I saw, I conquered, I came."
A young Julius Caesar and his friend were walking along...
A young Julius Caesar and his friend Kevin were walking a Roman road. Caesar says "I'm really thinking about going all out this year and having a bust made of myself" to which Kevin
replied..."Ughh...Don't get a-head of yourself".
Julius Caeser and Alexander the Great are in a bathroom together
They are both going pee in two urinals right next to each other. Alexander the Great leans over the divider looks at Caeser and says "My empire is bigger than yours"
What was the most privileged region conquered by Julius Caesar?
Cis-Alpine Gaul.
Why did Julius Caesar stop pretending that his teddy bear was Emperor of Rome?
Because it was Teddius.
Why was Julius Caesar so well traveled?
Because he was busy Roman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Julius Caesar and Pornhub have in common?
Caesar started the group p**... trend.
So, Julius Ceaser was afraid of storms but one night he had to go out.
A big storm was brewing, he ordered one of his minders to go out and report the weather to him. Upon his return he was asked " so was it raining?" To which his minder reported " all hail Ceaser"!!
Why did Julius Ceaser wear sandals?
For roamin' around
Wait, which one's my seat again?
(At the Roman Theatre)
Brutus: Wait, which one's my seat again?
Julius (sighs) : A2, Brute.
\#IdesOfMarch
What Roman emperor suffered from head pains?
Julius Seizure
Julius Caesar goes to a nightclub with his friends
While there he breaks off from his group of friends to talk to an attractive young woman. His friends don't see him for the rest of the night, and the next morning they're all eager to find out what happened. So when they next see him they ask him what happened.
"Vidi, vici, veni" replies Ceasar.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Julius Caesar had been a r**..., what might he have famously said?
I saw. I conquered. I came.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
One day, Julius Caesar was in the marketplace with a friend, looking for a celebratory item after coming back from a successful campaign. He was looking towards a bust of his face, carved in marble.
But that was when his friend said: "Hey! Don't get a head of yourself!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People stabbing Julius Caesar were expecting a lot of things.......
Hearing Harder daddy! Was not one of them
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says
I'll have a Martinus.
The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, Don't you mean a Martini?
Look, Caesar replies, If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Julius Caesar say when he went to the s**... club?
Veni, vidi, veni.
Read this on an anniversary special edition of Reader's Digest
Julius Caesar was coming out of a fast food restaurant when Brutus bumped into him and asked,"How are the burgers, Julius?
Julius replied, "Ate two, Brute!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A s**... donor, a carpenter and Mehmed II, Ottoman Emperor are in a room. Julius Caesar walks in the room. What did he say?
"Veni, vidi, vici."
