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Julius Jokes

79 julius jokes and hilarious julius puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about julius that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Julius Short Jokes

Short julius jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The julius humour may include short gladiator jokes also.

  1. Julius Caesar: Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new? Brutus: Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's.
  2. What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan? Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered."
    Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."
  3. How do we know Julius Caesar wasn't gay? Because you have to be straight to be a good ruler
  4. I have an epileptic cousin. His name? Julius Seizure
  5. What is the similarity between Julius Caesar and Tifa Lockhart? Both of them were witnessed getting impaled in the Italian senate...
  6. Last Halloween i dressed up as Julius Caesar, and my friends ditched me Talk about getting stabbed in the back
  7. What did Julius Caesar say towards the end of a passionate night with Cleopatra? "Veni."
  8. What did Julius Caesar say when the French tribesmen rebelled against him? I can't believe you had the Gaul to do this.
    You're driving me in-Seine. I can't handle this Rhine now.
  9. The White House bar and restaurant, upon Trump's arrival, will reduce their beverage selections to just two choices: You can get a White Russian or an Orange Julius.
  10. One day in August, Julius Caesar was standing on the balcony in his palace, watching the leaves drop silently from the trees. He was witnessing….The Fall of the Roman Empire.

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Julius One Liners

Which julius one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with julius? I can suggest the ones about brute and julius caesar.

  1. Do you know about the Roman emperor who had epilepsy? It was Julius Seizure.
  2. What do you call a Roman Emperor, without his epileptic pills? Julius Seizure
  3. Julius Caesar sashays into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers, please!"
  4. Not everyone thinks that Cleopatra is beautiful... ... but that's the way Julius Caesar.
  5. What do you call an epileptic emperor? Julius Seizure
  6. Why was Julius Caesar's phone bill so high? Because he was Roman.
  7. What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy? Julius Seizure.
  8. What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors? A Julius Seizure.
  9. What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity? Veni, Vidi... Veni.
  10. What do you call a Roman dictator having an epileptic fit? Julius Seizure
  11. What did Julius Caesar say after he made love to his wife Veni
  12. Julius Caesar famously had a quick nap before crossing the Rubicon the rest is history
  13. Julius Ceasar after discovering Onlyfans "Veni, Vidi, Veni"
  14. Sometimes I envy Julius Caesar... He died surrounded by all of his friends.
  15. What were Julius Caesar's dying words? name... a salad.... after me...ahhh

Julius Caesar Jokes

Here is a list of funny julius caesar jokes and even better julius caesar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone? He didn't speak English.
  • Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics? All that backstabbing was too much for him.
  • Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome? He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
  • People stabbing Julius Caesar were expecting a lot of things....... Hearing Harder daddy! Was not one of them
  • What did the Senate say to Julius Caesar? You've got a lot of Gaul!
  • Julius Caesar and Brutus are having a conversation Brutus asks: How many apples did you eat last night?
    Julius responds: Et two, Brute.
  • Gaius Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered Gayus Julius Caesar: I saw, I conquered, I came
  • Gaius Julius Caesar walks into a baguette shop. The owner stops him at the door and says: "I cannot believe you have the Gaul to just strut in here like that!"
  • I discovered that Julius Caesar was so religious... that he died a holy man.
  • What did Julius Caesar exclaim after years of impotency? Veni! Veni! Veni!
Julius joke, What did Julius Caesar exclaim after years of impotency?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about julius can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of julius puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Rib-Tickling Julius Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about julius you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean roman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make julius prank.

The night Julius Caesar met his wife

Julius Caesar is looking for a lady. A friend of his suggests a woman he knows. He meets the woman, and they go to his house. The next day, Caesar bumps into his friend again. The friend asks "how did it go"? Caesar replies, "I saw, I conquered, I came."

A young Julius Caesar and his friend were walking along...

A young Julius Caesar and his friend Kevin were walking a Roman road. Caesar says "I'm really thinking about going all out this year and having a bust made of myself" to which Kevin
replied..."Ughh...Don't get a-head of yourself".

Julius Caesar walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and...

says to the bartender *I'll have 5 beers, please*

What does Julius Ceasar say after s**...?

Veni.

Julius Caesar bought a Google GPS

and said, 'Youtube, route us'.

Julius Caeser and Alexander the Great are in a bathroom together

They are both going pee in two urinals right next to each other. Alexander the Great leans over the divider looks at Caeser and says "My empire is bigger than yours"

So, Julius Ceaser was afraid of storms but one night he had to go out.

A big storm was brewing, he ordered one of his minders to go out and report the weather to him. Upon his return he was asked " so was it raining?" To which his minder reported " all hail Ceaser"!!

Why did Julius Ceaser wear sandals?

For roamin' around

Wait, which one's my seat again?

(At the Roman Theatre)
Brutus: Wait, which one's my seat again?
Julius (sighs) : A2, Brute.
\#IdesOfMarch

What Roman emperor suffered from head pains?

Julius Seizure

Julius Caesar goes to a nightclub with his friends

While there he breaks off from his group of friends to talk to an attractive young woman. His friends don't see him for the rest of the night, and the next morning they're all eager to find out what happened. So when they next see him they ask him what happened.
"Vidi, vici, veni" replies Ceasar.

Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey

Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?

One day, Julius Caesar was in the marketplace with a friend, looking for a celebratory item after coming back from a successful campaign. He was looking towards a bust of his face, carved in marble.

But that was when his friend said: "Hey! Don't get a head of yourself!"

Julius Caesar and Marcus Brutus are at the airport

Brutus: Which is our boarding gate Caesar?
Caesar: A-2 Brutus
Brutus: And what time is the flight Caesar?
Caesar: 8:02 Brutus
Brutus: By the way, I have sandwiches. Do you want one Caesar?
Caesar: Ate two Brutus
Brutus: This is an unusual paper size for a ticket. What size is it Caesar?
Caesar: A2 Brutus
Brutus (Thinking to himself): This man is really getting on my nerves. One of these days I'm going to have to kill him

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says

I'll have a Martinus.

The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, Don't you mean a Martini?

Look, Caesar replies, If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!

What did Julius Caesar say when he went to the s**... club?

Veni, vidi, veni.

Read this on an anniversary special edition of Reader's Digest

Julius Caesar was coming out of a fast food restaurant when Brutus bumped into him and asked,"How are the burgers, Julius?
Julius replied, "Ate two, Brute!"

A s**... donor, a carpenter and Mehmed II, Ottoman Emperor are in a room. Julius Caesar walks in the room. What did he say?

"Veni, vidi, vici."

What did Julius Caesar say after visiting a s**... club?

Veni vidi veni

Julius joke, Not everyone thinks that Cleopatra is beautiful...

jokes about julius

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these julius jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.