Julius Caesar Jokes
68 julius caesar jokes and hilarious julius caesar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about julius caesar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Julius Caesar Short Jokes
Short julius caesar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The julius caesar humour may include short romeo and juliet jokes also.
- Julius Caesar: Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new? Brutus: Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's.
- What is the similarity between Julius Caesar and Tifa Lockhart? Both of them were witnessed getting impaled in the Italian senate...
- Last Halloween i dressed up as Julius Caesar, and my friends ditched me Talk about getting stabbed in the back
- What did Julius Caesar say when the French tribesmen rebelled against him? I can't believe you had the Gaul to do this.
You're driving me in-Seine. I can't handle this Rhine now. - One day in August, Julius Caesar was standing on the balcony in his palace, watching the leaves drop silently from the trees. He was witnessing….The Fall of the Roman Empire.
- Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome? He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
- Julius Caesar and Brutus are having a conversation Brutus asks: How many apples did you eat last night?
Julius responds: Et two, Brute. - Gaius Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered Gayus Julius Caesar: I saw, I conquered, I came
- Gaius Julius Caesar walks into a baguette shop. The owner stops him at the door and says: "I cannot believe you have the Gaul to just strut in here like that!"
- Julius Caesar walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and... says to the bartender *I'll have 5 beers, please*
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Julius Caesar One Liners
Which julius caesar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with julius caesar? I can suggest the ones about caesar salad and romeo.
- Not everyone thinks that Cleopatra is beautiful... ... but that's the way Julius Caesar.
- Why was Julius Caesar's phone bill so high? Because he was Roman.
- What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity? Veni, Vidi... Veni.
- What did Julius Caesar say after he made love to his wife Veni
- Julius Caesar famously had a quick nap before crossing the Rubicon the rest is history
- Sometimes I envy Julius Caesar... He died surrounded by all of his friends.
- What were Julius Caesar's dying words? name... a salad.... after me...ahhh
- What did Julius Caesar say towards the end of a passionate night with Cleopatra? "Veni."
- Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone? He didn't speak English.
- Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics? All that backstabbing was too much for him.
- What did the Senate say to Julius Caesar? You've got a lot of Gaul!
- I discovered that Julius Caesar was so religious... that he died a holy man.
- What did Julius Caesar exclaim after years of impotency? Veni! Veni! Veni!
- Julius Caesar bought a Google GPS and said, 'Youtube, route us'.
- What did Julius Caesar say when he was stabbed by Faye? Etouffee?
Ridiculous Julius Caesar Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about julius caesar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roman emperor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make julius caesar pranks.
What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?
"Ecru, Brute?"
The night Julius Caesar met his wife
Julius Caesar is looking for a lady. A friend of his suggests a woman he knows. He meets the woman, and they go to his house. The next day, Caesar bumps into his friend again. The friend asks "how did it go"? Caesar replies, "I saw, I conquered, I came."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four braggarts in a bar
Julius Caesar, Hannibal, Moses, and Bob are sitting in a bar bragging.
Caesar starts, "I and my army forded the Rubicon to face destiny." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a portentous crossing."
Hannibal says, "I and my army traversed the Alps with elephants to gain a strategic advantage against Rome." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a prodigious crossing."
Moses says, "I and my people parted the Red Sea to walk to freedom." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a preternatural crossing."
Bob says, "Me 'n' me mates went over the street for kebabs." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a pedestrian crossing."
Why was Julius Caesar not homophobic?
Because he had "Caesar" sisters.
A young Julius Caesar and his friend were walking along...
A young Julius Caesar and his friend Kevin were walking a Roman road. Caesar says "I'm really thinking about going all out this year and having a bust made of myself" to which Kevin
replied..."Ughh...Don't get a-head of yourself".
What did Jennifer Lawrence say to Julius Caesar?
..."May the Ides be ever in your favor."
Who is Julius Caesar's favorite singer? Mark Anthony
What was the most privileged region conquered by Julius Caesar?
Cis-Alpine Gaul.
What do my brother and Julius Caesar have in common?
They both hate been stabbed
Help me guys!
I want to be great, like Julius Caesar. But I always fall asleep right after I come.
Why did Julius Caesar stop pretending that his teddy bear was Emperor of Rome?
Because it was Teddius.
Why was Julius Caesar so well traveled?
Because he was busy Roman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Julius Caesar and Pornhub have in common?
Caesar started the group p**... trend.
A lot of people say that Julius Caesar's invasion of France was "brave".
I have to agree, but it took a lot of Gaul.
Julius Caesar's tree step program to getting girls
How many puns can you make about the death of Julius Caesar?
It's Julius Caesar's death anniversary and no one remembers it
It's a backstab to his memory
Why did they stab Julius Caesar?
Nobody had guns, because Rome had much better gun control laws.
Julius Caesar goes to a nightclub with his friends
While there he breaks off from his group of friends to talk to an attractive young woman. His friends don't see him for the rest of the night, and the next morning they're all eager to find out what happened. So when they next see him they ask him what happened.
"Vidi, vici, veni" replies Ceasar.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Julius Caesar had been a r**..., what might he have famously said?
I saw. I conquered. I came.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
One day, Julius Caesar was in the marketplace with a friend, looking for a celebratory item after coming back from a successful campaign. He was looking towards a bust of his face, carved in marble.
But that was when his friend said: "Hey! Don't get a head of yourself!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People stabbing Julius Caesar were expecting a lot of things.......
Hearing Harder daddy! Was not one of them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Brutalus Joke
Julius Caesar and Marcus Brutus are at the airport.
Brutus: Which is our boarding gate Caesar?
Caesar: A-2 Brutus
Brutus: And what time is the flight Caesar?
Caesar: 8:02 Brutus
Brutus: By the way, I have sandwiches. Do you want one Caesar?
Caesar: Ate two Brutus
Brutus: This is an unusual paper size for a ticket. What size is it Caesar?
Caesar: A2 Brutus
Brutus (Thinking to himself): This man is really beginning to get on my nerves. One of these days I'm going to have to kill him
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says
I'll have a Martinus.
The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, Don't you mean a Martini?
Look, Caesar replies, If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Julius Caesar say when he went to the s**... club?
Veni, vidi, veni.
Read this on an anniversary special edition of Reader's Digest
Julius Caesar was coming out of a fast food restaurant when Brutus bumped into him and asked,"How are the burgers, Julius?
Julius replied, "Ate two, Brute!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A s**... donor, a carpenter and Mehmed II, Ottoman Emperor are in a room. Julius Caesar walks in the room. What did he say?
"Veni, vidi, vici."
