Julie Jokes
33 julie jokes and hilarious julie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about julie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Julie Short Jokes
Short julie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The julie humour may include short carol jokes also.
- 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
- As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July. It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.
- I don't see why we Brits don't celebrate the 4th of July. Surely 239 years of being officially separate from America is something to be happy about.
- My daughter was born this morning, July 4th. It's the day I lost my independence.
(This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well). - This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.
- If 9/11 had happened in July... 7/11's brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.
- This 4th of July, the British should celebrate independence day too. Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.
- How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, august 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
- Happy Fourh of July "Hey England, Happy Fourh of July."
"Where's the T?"
"We threw it in the harbor."
Merica. - I tell my friends I'm there for them 24/7. It sounds better than saying I'm there for them on the 24th of July.
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Julie One Liners
Which julie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with julie? I can suggest the ones about john and bedside.
- Hey girl, are you a parked car in July? Because I want to leave a baby in you.
- Mom, why am I getting christmas gifts in July? Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.
- June is already over? Julying
- HAPPY FOURH OF JULY Looking for the T?
It's in Boston Harbor. - My dad said everything would be back to normal by June So I told him yesterday "Julyed"
- Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire. Fire-works on 4th of July.
- I have never understood why people abbreviate July as Jul. i mean seriously y?
- I brought a date to the 4th of July party... ...really sweetened up the fruit salad.
- You're like school in July... No class
- How is looking up your symptoms on WebMD like your July Horoscope? It's probably cancer.
- What do you say when your friend says it's June 31st? July'd.
- Not everyone has off for the 4th of July.. Fire works.
- The 4th of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
- Where did the fire go on 4th of july? Firework
- Is there a 4th of July in the UK? Yeah… right after the 3rd of July.
Julie Andrews Jokes
Here is a list of funny julie andrews jokes and even better julie andrews puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is Julie Andrews' favourite coffee? Do re me fa so latte.
- What do Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music and Keith Richards have in common? They both made habits fashionable.
Hilarious Fun Julie Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about julie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speak jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make julie pranks.
Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement
Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."
...Then Juliet looked down from her balcony and said,
"Its over Romeo,
I have the high ground"
All the single ladles
Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her all the more curious.
Joe noticed his mother's suspicion. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates."
A week later, Julie came to Joe and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't seem to find the gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it on accident, do you?"
Joe agreed that it was a reasonable possibility, and wrote a letter to his mother inquiring about the ladle. It read, "I'm not saying you 'did' take the ladle, nor am I saying you 'did not' take the ladle,' but the fact is it's been missing since you came to dinner last week."
Several weeks later, a reply came.
"I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Julie, nor am I saying you 'do not' sleep with Julie. The fact is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."
"Will you be my Juliet and I will be your Romeo?"
"Aww, you love me?"
"No, I just thought the world would be better if we were both dead."
A man visits a mental hospital.
He sees a patient with torn clothes & unkempt hair shouting "Julie !! Julie !!"
He asks the assistant about the reason for the patient's behavior. Asst says the patient used to love a girl called Julie but couldn't marry her. So he became mad.
The man visits the next ward. There also he sees another patient with torn clothes & unkempt hair shouting
"Julie !! Julie !!"
The man looks at the assistant.
The assistant says "This one married Julie"
How did Juliet maintain constant temperature?
Romeostasis.
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says: So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?
Bernie, she says. I want a divorce .
My goodness, he says. I wasn't planning on spending that much.
Hey man, where did Julie spend her vacation?
Alaska.
- No thats okay, I'll ask her myself
Juliet hates it when people give her advice about relationships.
It's not her first Romeo.
Julie knew her new boyfriend was secretly gay...
She had him pegged.
My friend Julie was dating this guy and one day she called me crying saying she was done with him for body shaming her at their dinner, I asked her for more details,
She said he called her 'Born a petite'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Julie Julie
Julie Julie?
Yes Oni-Chan?
Stole my condoms?
No Oni-Chan!
Telling Lies?
No Oni-Chan!!
Open Wide!
AHH AHH AHH
What do you call an energetic girl?
Julie
Talking over the fence
My wife Julie was talking over the garden fence to our neighbor Betty.
"Hi Betty, how are things, how are you finding all this lock down stuff?"
"It's OK, bit strange having Jim around the house so much."
"I can imagine, I saw him coming home this morning from the store, he had a big bunch of flowers with him."
Betty went quiet, her cheeks reddening.
"What's the matter Betty, did i say something wrong?"
"No. It's just when he buys me flowers I have to go upstairs, take all my clothes off and lay on the bed with my legs open."
"Why?, don't you have any vases in your house."
