JokoJokes

Jug Jokes

31 jug jokes and hilarious jug puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jug that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some of the funniest jokes and puns about jugs, from milk jugs to water and crock bottles to thermoses. Laugh out loud and get a few chuckles and smiles out of everyone with these hilarious jug jokes.

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Funniest Jug Short Jokes

Short jug jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jug humour may include short bottle jokes also.

  1. They told me to imagine a guy holding a jug full of water. But I just couldn't pitcher it.
  2. Man walks into a grocery store When the cashier asks if he wants his milk in a bag, he says "No thanks. Keep it in the jug."
  3. Cashier: "Would you like your milk in a bag, sir?" Me: "No thanks, just leave it in the jug."
  4. Purchasing a rain barrel often leads to buying more water collecting devices I guess you could say a rain barrel is a gateway jug.
    (Modified from a story heard on NPR) : )
  5. Guess who's going to be spoiled on Valentine's Day...? The jug of milk in our refrigerator dated 2-14.
  6. What do you say to an old woman with a jug of protein? No one ma'am should have all that powder
  7. I've got washboard abs. As soon as I can find someone with clay-jug abs and someone with jews-harp abs, we can get started on our old-timey-hobo-band abs.
  8. How to tell if an ant is a male or a female? You get a jug of water and throw the ant in it. If it sinks then it's a girl ant, if it floats then it's bouyant
  9. What does the days of the week pour out of for a drink on a hot day? A jug of leMondayade.
  10. Milk jug cop pulls over a speeding milk jug. Speeding milk jug says: "I'll see you in quart!"

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Jug One Liners

Which jug one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jug? I can suggest the ones about thermos and swig.

  1. What do you say if someone won't stop describing a jug? Okay, I get the pitcher
  2. What do you call a frozen milk jug alone in a room? Solidairity.
  3. The inventor of the jug died today. Tributes have been pouring in.
  4. what do you call Douglas with no jug Jugless
  5. Your mama so fat... ...that she takes two c**... j**... to heal.
  6. I saw Dolly Parton at the grocery store. She had a loaf of bread and two j**... of milk.
  7. I like my women like I like my rock climbing routes Nice j**...

Milk Jug Jokes

Here is a list of funny milk jug jokes and even better milk jug puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When I was a kid, you could go in a store with 10 dollars and get out with a new ball, 4 milk j**..., a shirt and a pair of shoes. Nowadays you can't. There are security cameras everywhere.

Water Jug Jokes

Here is a list of funny water jug jokes and even better water jug puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My girlfriend has a water f**...... I just spilled a jug of water over her and now she's soaking wet.

Uplifting Jug Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about jug you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pitcher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jug pranks.

A boy returns home from running an errand for his quarantined grandfather.

He says, "Grandpa, I got all the groceries you wanted! All together, it came to $47.22. Here's your change."
Grandpa says, "My goodness, the world is expensive nowadays. When I was a boy your age, I could get five pounds of potatoes, three loaves of bread, two pounds of beef, a jug of milk, a tin of tobacco for my dad, and a handful of my favorite candies, all for about five cents.
"Can't do that today, though. No sir-ee Bob."
"Why is that, grandpa?" asks the boy.
"Too many f**...' cameras."

A woman goes to a supermarket

A woman goes to a supermarket. After gathering her items, she goes to the checkout counter.
The cashier looks at the items she bought: a jug of milk, a carton of eggs, & a head of lettuce
The cashier says "You must be single"
The woman says "Oh my god, how did you know?"
The cashier responds:
"Because you're ugly."

A logician is asked to go to get groceries.

His wife said: "Go get a jug of milk. If they have eggs, buy a dozen". Later, his wife said: "Why did you come back with a dozen j**... of milk?" The logician said: "They had eggs."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving through the desert...

When their car breaks down. Stranded in the middle of nowhere, they have no choice but to walk the road to safety. They each agree to carry something. The brunette brings a jug of water in case they get thirsty.
The redhead brings a blanket in case they need to camp for the night. The blonde brings the car door. The others ask why.
She says, "If we get hot, we can just roll the window down!"

Three vampires walk into a bar...

The first two order a pint of blood each, the third asks for a jug of boiling water, confused the barman asks "why?". The vampire pulls out a used t**... and says "I'm making tea"

I needed to do the laundry, but then I realized I was out of detergent,

so I went to write a shopping list and realized how unorganized the junk drawer was, and started checking pens for ink. When I went to toss all the junk, I saw that the trash was full but before I took it out I wanted to get rid of old food in the fridge. That's when I realized a juice jug had leaked so I needed to clean it up but when I went to grab a rag, I saw that the pantry closet was a nightmare so I started organizing it.
And that's how I ended up on the floor looking at my old photo albums from 1990s and not doing laundry.

I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...

There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.
The width of a milk jug is 5.5"
Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches
93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,6**...,6**...,6**... Feet
Divided by 5280
1,475,694,444 Miles
Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units
You get 15.8 AU's.
You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.

A Turkish man stopped by my convenience store and bought a gallon of milk. He comes back in an hour later with the same jug of milk, absolutely furious at me for selling him "bad milk!" I ask him what the problem is and he tells me its all

Kurdled

Two brothers, one good, one bad, go the Heaven.

John the good brother sees his brother Tom walking with a gorgeous blonde and carrying a jug of whiskey. He runs up to him and asks how he ended up with a jug of whiskey and a gorgeous blonde after a life of debauchery and drunkenness.
John's sad reply was, "the j**... got a hole in it and the blonde doesn't."

Three Knights Walk Into A Bar

Three knights walk into a bar.
the first knight asks the bartender for a cup of ale.
the second knight asks the bartender for a mug of ale.
the bartender turns to the third knight and says, "don't tell me, you want a jug of ale?"
The third knight says, "None for me, I'm two knight's designated driver.

On a cold night I walked into a bar in the Caribbean...

..I saw that the bar was filled with gloomy shivering sailors and one happy pirate. I went to order a jug or r**... and told the pirate that I could make him lose his smile and make all the others happy.
He replied that it's never going to happen.
So I took his wooden leg and threw it to the fireplace.
All the sailors were delighted and the pirate was hopping mad.