judging Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious judging stories

What are the best Judging puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Judging? Well here is a complete list of Judging dad jokes:

Judging by the mess in the living room.

Babies don't bounce.

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A convent burns down...

And all the nuns die in the fires. At the gates of Heaven, they are judged one by one by St. Pete. He asks the first nun: "My sister, have you any sin to confess?" "No, St.Pete", she responds. "Then you are free to enter!"


After judging half of the nuns, none seem to have sinned. Then, sister Clair steps forward. Again, St.Pete asks:"Sister, have you any sin to confess?" "Yes, brother!" She sais, "I touched the errect genitals of father Benedict, from the monastery next door!" "Then, " St.Pete sais ,"you shall wash the bodypart of yours, wich touched his genitals ,in this bowl filled with holy water and your sins will be forgiven!"


Upon hearing this, the last nun in line sprints forward and shouts: "St.Pete!Brother!Can i at least gargle before sister Mary washes her butt in the bowl ?!?"

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My girlfriend asked me if I had a secret pet name for her.

Judging by the look on her face, 'sperm
whale' was not an appropriate answer.

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I submitted a group of puns to a pun judging contest hoping one of them would win.

No pun in ten did.

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Obama's Inauguration

I remember January 20th, 2009 — it was the day Obama was first sworn in to office. I was completely, confused though. I mean, they didn't even read Obama his rights . . .

They're supposed to tell him the whole spiel, aren't they?

*Anything you say can and will be used against you.*

Am I the only one who remembered this bit? Well, judging on how half of America's been reacting to his every move, y'know, I'd've thought he deserved to know about it.

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Flying Blind

A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning.

The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, "The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and tell me which city we are flying over judging by what you touch."

The Frenchman goes first. He opens the door, puts his hand outside of the door, and brings it in a minute later. "We're flying over Paris! I could feel the Eiffel Tower!"

The Englishman is next. He sticks his hand outside and draws it back in a minute later. "I just touched Big Ben! We are just over London!"

Finally, it is the American's turn. He shoves his hand outside the plane and brings it back in immediately. "We're flying over Detroit. I know because my watch just got stolen."

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I don't know if this is even anything. It could be a joke ¯\(°_o)/¯

Judging intelligence by academic performance is like judging a book by how good it is. Some books are shit

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To the haters that just down vote w/o reason....How long does it take your mom to finish...

taking a shit?

Judging by your actions------9 months!

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