The Best 14 Judgement Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Judgement jokes. There are some judgement deacon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these judgement hymn puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Judgement Jokes and Puns

Judgement day

Peter is on trial. He's on trial because he shot his wife when he caught her in bed with another guy.
The judge wants to know; "why did you shoot your wife?".
"Well, " Peter replies, "it seemed easier to shoot her once, than to shoot a different guy every week".

My new girlfriend reckons I'm no good in bed...

...but I don't see how she can make a judgement like that in less than a minute.

A Jehovah's Witness knocked at my door this morning.

Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day? he asked.

Well, I replied, I'm not a big fan of the Terminator series. I Said

Judgement joke, A Jehovah's Witness knocked at my door this morning.

My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed

I told her it's unfair to make a judgement in less than a minute

An alcoholic sees a blonde nurse

An alcoholic walks into a nurses office. The blonde nurse asks "What seems to be the problem?". So the alcoholic says "I've been having a rough, scratchy feeling in my throat lately". She asks "Well that do you mostly eat and drink?". He replies "Mostly scotch". The alcoholic sees the nurses' eyes widen in shock and judgement, and in a reflex of dismissal he adds "On the rocks though". Her mood quickly shifts from shock to anger and says "WELL THERES' YOUR PROBLEM! STOP DRINKING ROCKS, STUPID!".


I'll never join one of those online dating services because I prefer to meet someone the good old-fashioned way...

Through alcohol and poor judgement...

It was probably my worst moment of judgement, feeling over confident and giving Dwayne Johnson a big ol' smack on his ass.

I hit Rock bottom.

Judgement joke, It was probably my worst moment of judgement, feeling over confident and giving Dwayne Johnson a big

My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed...

I don't think it's fair to make a judgement like that in less than a minute.

Whenever I speak to religious people about my beliefs, I receive a lot of judgement.

It seems that Jesus is the only one who truly accepts me for who I am!

What did the indecisive nimbus say?

"Something is clouding my judgement"

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven and were seeking admission. God Himself decided to hear their appeal from His judgement seat.

The St Bernard said "I was a valued rescue dog and helped find those nuns after the avalanche."

"Fine then, you're in," said God.

The collie said, "I was always faithful to my master and brought the family together when they were down."

"Sounds wonderful," said God. "Welcome."

Then it was the cat's turn. "Why should we let you in?" asked God.

"Well actually, I think you're in my chair."

You can explore judgement judgmental reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean judgement hypnotize dad jokes. There are also judgement puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What is the most judgemental hot tub?

A j'cuzzie

What's the most judgemental fruit?

A Jury-an

There's so many court officials around today

it really has been an era of judgement.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the judgement gospel jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working judgement opinion piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes