Gather Around for Fun Judge Ruled Jokes and Laughter with Friends
Duchess
It's my cake day, so here's a joke for everybody. My dad told me this joke, but I haven't seen it any other places:
A man goes on trial for calling the Duchess a pig. The judge finds him guilty of slander and explains that if he ever calls the Duchess a pig again he'll be severely punished. The man then says to the judge, If I can't call the Duchess a pig, would I still get punished for calling a pig Duchess?
The judge publicly rules that he can indeed call a pig Duchess.
On his way out of the courtroom, the man walks by the royal plaintiff, tips his hat, and says Good day, Duchess.
A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday
.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
There was a pun competition going on in the local community.
I decided I might have a go at it since I am pretty good with puns. The rules were simple: we all had to tell 10 puns. I got on stage and gave it my best shot to wow the judges. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
A man robs a bank to get away from his wife...
As he sat on the steps of the bank waiting for the police to come he was relieved with thoughts of never having to see his wife again.
Later In the court room waiting for his ruling, he was excited to finally be somewhere far far away from her.
Seeing this the judge thought of the worst possible sentence that he can give him.
He was given 2 years house arrest.
I'm in the World Thumb Wrestling finals.
We've been deadlocked in competition for the past 15 hours. Given how worn out our thumbs are, the judges have ruled we play sudden death with our big toes.
This will end in defeet.
I went to the food court today.
And in the case of Pizza V Hamburger, the judge ruled in favor of the plantiff.
Four kids were arrested for feeding the elephants in a zoo when there was a rule stating they couldn't do so.
At the court, the judge asked the four kids to state their name and what they had done.
Kid 1 : My name is John, and I threw peanuts into the elephant den.
Kid 2 : My name is David, and I threw peanuts into the elephant den.
Kid 3 : My name is Arthur, and I threw peanuts into the elephant den.
Kid 4 : My name is Peanuts.
Judge Scalia should have worn Nikes
He would have ruled the court.
Man sentenced to 5 years in prison for robbing a garden centre
The Judge ruled it as a crime against nature.
The Supreme Court ruled against increasing tax on flatbread imports from India.
The case was closed by a no naan cents judge.
A judge ruled to take away Mr. Coffee's custody rights..
His lawyer asked, "on what grounds?"
The judge replied, "Child a-brews"
You can explore judge ruled reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean judge ruled dad jokes. There are also judge ruled puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Soccer
A soccer judge accidentally had given a c**... instead of the yellow card to a player. Nobody broke the rules in that match any more.
A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, stopped and said: "I object, Your Honor! One of the jurors is asleep."
The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep… You wake him up."
A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, when he stopped and said, "I object, your honor! One of the jurors is asleep." The Judge ruled, "You put him to sleep, so you wake him up."
