The Best 21 Judge Ordered Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Judge Ordered jokes. There are some judge ordered jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these judge ordered puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Judge Ordered Jokes and Puns

It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"

So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.

A drunkard was brought to court for dunkenis behavior

The Judge addressed the drunkard, "You have been brought here for drinking."

Drunkard, "Thank you very much your honour. Let's start."

All, present in the court, burst out laughing.

Banging the gavel, the Judge said, "Order."

Drunkard, "For me Whiskey with Soda please."

The Police Officer took my weed, but as I had a valid prescription the Judge ordered it returned to me.

I was awarded Joint Custody.

Judge: I order you to pay $10,000 - do you understand?

Mario: ...

Judge: It's a fine.

Mario: [sadly] no itsa not

My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship

Or as the judge insists on calling it, a restraining order


What did the judge order in his whiskey?

Just ice

I recently received a certificate for the breast stroke.

Although the Judge called it a restraining order.

A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days

He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then shaved off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge

Mario got taken to court

He turned out to be guilty, here is the last words of the trial.

Judge: I order to pay a $10,000 fine

Mario: why

Judge: it's a fine

Mario: [sadly] no itsa not

Yo mama is so stupid when the judge said, Order! Order!" she said, "Fries and coke please."

Your mama is so fat

When she went to the court house and the judge said 'order, order', she said 'a burger and chips please!'

You can explore judge ordered reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean judge ordered dad jokes. There are also judge ordered puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Sue reports for jury duty as ordered.

She promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudiced. "I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."

"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."

Why don't whores like judges ?

Because they issue gag orders and the outcome is hard to swallow.

I found out my wife's been blowing the judge to get out of her parking fines.

I shouldn't be talking about it really... The judge put a gag order on it.

How did the judge punish the criminal that couldn't get his thoughts in order and kept coming up with excuses that didn't make any sense and it was annoying and the jury became angry and it was so annoying for everyone?

It was a run-on sentence.

Mario is in court

Judge :I order you to pay 10,000$
Mario: why
Judge: it's a fine
Mario : no itsa not

I didn't come up with this just thought it was funny

A judge was arrested after ordering a group of crows confined to an insane asylum. What for?

Committing a murder.

Court Comedy

In a courtroom, where tensions are high...

Judge: Order! Order in the court!

Plaintiff: I'll take a ham on rye.

Did you hear the judge's recent linguistic faux pas, when they were addressing a recently convicted defendant?

I Order you to serve 2 years incarcerated, 2 years active probation, 1 year of passive probation, 400 hours of community service, evidence of completion of an education service approved by the court, submit to a mental health evaluation..., etc., etc..

Yeah, it was a run-on sentence.


A judge in my city had the entire bathroom removed from the Courthouse.

It was out of order.

Court judge orders Jared Fogle to have one particular Subway sandwich every day for the duration of his sentence.

a 12 inch Black Forest Ham.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the judge ordered jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working judge ordered piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes