Judge Ordered Jokes
23 judge ordered jokes and hilarious judge ordered puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about judge ordered that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Judge Ordered Short Jokes
Short judge ordered jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The judge ordered humour may include short judge ruled jokes also.
- My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship Or as the judge insists on calling it, a restraining order
- I found out my wife's been blowing the judge to get out of her parking fines. I shouldn't be talking about it really... The judge put a gag order on it.
- Court Comedy In a courtroom, where tensions are high...
Judge: Order! Order in the court!
Plaintiff: I'll take a ham on rye. - A judge in my city had the entire bathroom removed from the Courthouse. It was out of order.
- Court judge orders Jared Fogle to have one particular Subway sandwich every day for the duration of his sentence. a 12 inch Black Forest Ham.
- What did the federal prosecutor arguing against Jared Fogle order from the judge? A Cold Cut Convict
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Judge Ordered One Liners
Which judge ordered one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with judge ordered? I can suggest the ones about judge and court.
- Why can't judges get drunk? They always order just-ice
- At a courthouse Judge: Order, order.
Defendant: A cheeseburger, please.
Howlingly Hilarious Judge Ordered Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about judge ordered you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean court case jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make judge ordered pranks.
It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"
So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A drunkard was brought to court for dunkenis behavior
The Judge addressed the drunkard, "You have been brought here for drinking."
Drunkard, "Thank you very much your honour. Let's start."
All, present in the court, burst out laughing.
b**... the gavel, the Judge said, "Order."
Drunkard, "For me Whiskey with Soda please."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Police Officer took my w**..., but as I had a valid prescription the Judge ordered it returned to me.
I was awarded Joint Custody.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently received a certificate for the breast s**....
Although the Judge called it a restraining order.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then s**... off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
A wolf and A donkey were arguing about the color of the grass.
The wolf was saying: the grass is green.
The donkey was saying: the grass is blue.
They went to the king of the jungle to judge between them.
The lion king has ordered to send the wolf to jail.
The wolf asked the lion: isn't the grass green?
The lion said: yes.
The wolf said: then why did you put me in jail?
The lion said: I didn't put you in jail because you were wrong, I put you in jail because you were arguing with a donkey.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two lawyers before an American judge recently got into a wrangle
At last one of the disputants, losing control over his emotions, exclaimed to his opponent, "Sir, you are, I think the biggest fool that I ever had the misfortune to set eyes upon."
"Order! Order!" said the judge gravely. "You seem to forget that I am in the room."
Source: 1913 newspaper
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sue reports for jury duty as ordered.
She promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudiced. "I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."
"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't w**... like judges ?
Because they issue gag orders and the outcome is hard to s**....
How did the judge punish the criminal that couldn't get his thoughts in order and kept coming up with excuses that didn't make any sense and it was annoying and the jury became angry and it was so annoying for everyone?
It was a run-on sentence.
Did you hear the judge's recent linguistic faux pas, when they were addressing a recently convicted defendant?
I Order you to serve 2 years incarcerated, 2 years active probation, 1 year of passive probation, 400 hours of community service, evidence of completion of an education service approved by the court, submit to a mental health evaluation..., etc., etc..
Yeah, it was a run-on sentence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A judge was arrested after ordering a group of crows confined to an insane asylum. What for?
Committing a m**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Courtroom
At a r**... trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer. After reading the note, the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it among the rest of the jurors.
One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror
sitting next to him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm going to f* you like you've never been f*ed before."
The juror smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his pocket. "Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!"
ordered the judge.
"I can't, Your Honor," the juror answered. "It's personal."