Howlingly Hilarious Judge Ordered Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!"
So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
A drunkard was brought to court for dunkenis behavior
The Judge addressed the drunkard, "You have been brought here for drinking."
Drunkard, "Thank you very much your honour. Let's start."
All, present in the court, burst out laughing.
b**... the gavel, the Judge said, "Order."
Drunkard, "For me Whiskey with Soda please."
The Police Officer took my w**..., but as I had a valid prescription the Judge ordered it returned to me.
I was awarded Joint Custody.
Judge: I order you to pay $10,000 - do you understand?
Mario: ...
Judge: It's a fine.
Mario: [sadly] no itsa not
My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship
Or as the judge insists on calling it, a restraining order
What did the judge order in his whiskey?
Just ice
I recently received a certificate for the breast s**....
Although the Judge called it a restraining order.
A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then s**... off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
Yo mama is so s**... when the judge said, Order! Order!" she said, "Fries and coke please."
A wolf and A donkey were arguing about the color of the grass.
The wolf was saying: the grass is green.
The donkey was saying: the grass is blue.
They went to the king of the jungle to judge between them.
The lion king has ordered to send the wolf to jail.
The wolf asked the lion: isn't the grass green?
The lion said: yes.
The wolf said: then why did you put me in jail?
The lion said: I didn't put you in jail because you were wrong, I put you in jail because you were arguing with a donkey.
Mario got taken to court
He turned out to be guilty, here is the last words of the trial.
Judge: I order to pay a $10,000 fine
Mario: why
Judge: it's a fine
Mario: [sadly] no itsa not
You can explore judge ordered reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean judge ordered dad jokes. There are also judge ordered puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Two lawyers before an American judge recently got into a wrangle
At last one of the disputants, losing control over his emotions, exclaimed to his opponent, "Sir, you are, I think the biggest fool that I ever had the misfortune to set eyes upon."
"Order! Order!" said the judge gravely. "You seem to forget that I am in the room."
Source: 1913 newspaper
Your mama is so fat
When she went to the court house and the judge said 'order, order', she said 'a burger and chips please!'
Sue reports for jury duty as ordered.
She promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudiced. "I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."
"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."
Why don't w**... like judges ?
Because they issue gag orders and the outcome is hard to s**....
I found out my wife's been blowing the judge to get out of her parking fines.
I shouldn't be talking about it really... The judge put a gag order on it.
Why can't judges get drunk?
They always order just-ice
How did the judge punish the criminal that couldn't get his thoughts in order and kept coming up with excuses that didn't make any sense and it was annoying and the jury became angry and it was so annoying for everyone?
It was a run-on sentence.
Mario is in court
Judge :I order you to pay 10,000$
Mario: why
Judge: it's a fine
Mario : no itsa not
I didn't come up with this just thought it was funny
Did you hear the judge's recent linguistic faux pas, when they were addressing a recently convicted defendant?
I Order you to serve 2 years incarcerated, 2 years active probation, 1 year of passive probation, 400 hours of community service, evidence of completion of an education service approved by the court, submit to a mental health evaluation..., etc., etc..
Yeah, it was a run-on sentence.
A judge was arrested after ordering a group of crows confined to an insane asylum. What for?
Committing a m**....
Court Comedy
In a courtroom, where tensions are high...
Judge: Order! Order in the court!
Plaintiff: I'll take a ham on rye.
A judge in my city had the entire bathroom removed from the Courthouse.
It was out of order.
Court judge orders Jared Fogle to have one particular Subway sandwich every day for the duration of his sentence.
a 12 inch Black Forest Ham.
