The Best 26 Judas Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Judas jokes. There are some judas messiah jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these judas praypal puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Judas Jokes and Puns

Judas: C´mon Jesus we´re gonna be late for last supper

Jesus: The what??
Judas: The supper.. we´re gonna be late for supper.

Jesus at Last Supper

*breaks bread* This is my body

*pours wine* This is my blood

*opens jar of mayo*...

Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there

At the last supper, Jesus breaks the bread and says "this is my body", pours the wine and says "this is my blood"...

...and then opens a jar of mayo and Judas says "Okay buddy I'm gonna stop you right there."

At the Last Supper, Jesus got out a loaf of bread and said "this is my body, eat it to remember me." Then Jesus got out a glass of wine and said "this is my blood, drink it to remember me."

Then Jesus got out a jar of mayonnaise and THAT'S when Judas knew this was going too far.

Why is Judas afraid of coming second in the Olympics?

The last time he got silver, one of his friends ended up being really cross.

I like to yard work listening to Judas Priest...

......singing at the top of my lungs: RAKING THE LAWN RAKING THE LAWN!

Did you hear that Judas turned state's evidence against the lord?

He had to go into the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.

Judas joke, Did you hear that Judas turned state's evidence against the lord?

Jesus is preparing for the Last Supper...

Jesus: Judas, I need you to go to each and every one of my disciples and tell them to meet me here for supper. Also, stop by the market and get some fish, vegetables, and a dessert. When you've come back and are done cooking, set up the table and our best plates.

Later that evening, while everyone is enjoying their food, Jesus begains in a somber tone, "One of you will betray me -

Judas: "Why do I have to do everything around here?!"

The Last Supper

*Jesus raises cup of wine*

Jesus: This is my blood

*Jesus raises plate of bread*

Jesus: This is my body

*Jesus raises tub of mayonnaise*

Jesus: This is m-


Of all kitchen utensils,

why did Judas choose to be tray?

What came before Judas?


You can explore judas betray reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean judas nails dad jokes. There are also judas puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What kind of music did Jesus hate?

Anything by Judas Priest and Nine Inch Nails.

What does Judas eat when he goes hiking?

Betrayal Mix.

The apostles are at the last supper...

Jesus is eating like a slob and spilling wine everywhere and Judas says to him "Were you born in a barn?"

A man is looking for inspiration,...

...and decides to open up his Bible to a random passage. He found the passage in which Judas hung himself. "Well, that's no good," the man said to himself, "I'll try again." He then turned to a passage that read, "Go and do likewise."

I'm painting a still life version of The Last Supper with all the apostles as vegetables

Judas is carrot.

Judas joke, I'm painting a still life version of The Last Supper with all the apostles as vegetables

Jesus at the last supper

Jesus sits at the Last Supper, beginning to serve his guests.

First, he hands a basket of bread to go around, "These represent my body, and the pain I shall endure for my people."

Next, he begins pouring everyone wine, "This represents my blood, and how I am part of everyone."

He goes to open a jar of mayonnaise, Judas quickly takes it away from him, "Now I'm gonna have to stop you right there."

Have you heard my vegan Judas Priest tribute band?

'Hell Bent For Pleather'

If you think I'm going to stop making Judas Priest references...

You've got another thing coming

Jesus at the Last Supper.


*breaks bread* - This is my body!

*holds a glass of wine* - This is my blood.

*starts to open a jar of mayo*

Judas: Sorry Jesus, I will have to stop you there.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and Judas Priest?

One of them has a Grammy...

Judas: "Jesus, yesterday you told those chicks you can resurrect, is it true?"

Jesus: "Yeah"

Judas: "How would you like to earn 15 pieces of silver?"

Jesus: "I'm listening..."

Which of the disciples were well-endowed?

Judas - He was hung.

Jesus was first betrayed by Judas then he was crucified...

I guess jew could say he was double crossed...

Why did Judas carve the turkey?

[Because he likes to stab things in the back](#s)

Judas: Still on for Friday?

"Jesus: Friday?"

"Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."

"Jesus: The what?"

"Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."

Judas joke, Judas: Still on for Friday?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the judas jude jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working judas supper piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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