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Journal Jokes

60 journal jokes and hilarious journal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about journal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Filled with quirky quips and comic capers, this article dives into the world of journal jokes and the interesting connections between a renowned Wall Street Journal publication, a popular novelist, and a beloved periodical. Read on to gain a better understanding of this humorous topic!

Funniest Journal Short Jokes

Short journal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The journal humour may include short article jokes also.

  1. The first joke I made up at age 7 - found in my first grade journal Q: Where do robbers go to the bathroom
    A: Arrest-room
  2. I just found out that the guy who stole my journal has died. My thoughts are with his family.
  3. What do you call a huge, angry, green man that cites all his arguments from peer reviewed journals? The credible hulk
  4. Just been informed the man who stole my journal has died. My thoughts are with his family.
  5. Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million: Get up at 5:00AM every day
    90 minutes of cardio
    Take a cold shower
    Journal
    Schedule out your day
    Dad owns Fortune 500 company
    Meditate
  6. As anyone with a journalism degree will tell you... The fact Superman got a job with a newspaper at the end is the strangest thing to happen in that movie.
  7. Apparently I have boundary issues At least that's what my neighbor wrote in his journal anyway
  8. What is a mainstream media award for accurate, fair and even-handed journalism called? A pink slip.
  9. Did you know that a very good memory is often a sign of an excellent lover? I read that on February 11, 2017 in the New England Journal of Behavioral studies issue 2016-Q3.
  10. What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops? Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

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Journal One Liners

Which journal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with journal? I can suggest the ones about published and essay.

  1. Are we as a society going to reject clickbait journalism? The answer may surprise you!
  2. Evidently, I have boundary issues according to my neighbors journal.
  3. According to my neighbors journal I have boundary issues
  4. I wanna be a fiction writer later in life. So I'm studying journalism.
  5. My friend collects scoliosis journals He has *back* issues.
  6. What's the best college degree to become a successful fiction writer? Journalism!
  7. What do you call a journalism site with no integrity? The answer might surprise you.
  8. What happened to the divers journal? It got waterlogged.
  9. How would you journal a day on the toilet after eating venison? Deer Diarrhea...
  10. The Biggest Problem With Interner Journalism Is what you just did
  11. Which news outlet won't be banned from the White House? The Wall street journal.
  12. How do Italians open their journal entries? "Buon journal...."
  13. How would you call an India travel journal? A diarrhea.
  14. I went to college for journalism And dropped out in 2 weeks
  15. The Civil War wasn't about slavery . . . . . . it was about ethics in journalism.

Published Journal Jokes

Here is a list of funny published journal jokes and even better published journal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Last week I submitted a ten page in depth technical description of my groundbreaking invention to a prestigious journal... but it didn't get published. They said I should just call a s**... a s**....
  • I Have Decided To Publish My s**... Journal in two volumes.
    Volume A: Thinking About It
    Volume B: Talking About It

Wall Street Journal Jokes

Here is a list of funny wall street journal jokes and even better wall street journal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The Wall Street Journal tried to defend against Pewdiepie's fanbase once ... Now they're called "The Street Journal"
Journal joke, The Wall Street Journal tried to defend against Pewdiepie's fanbase once ...

Journal joke, The Wall Street Journal tried to defend against Pewdiepie's fanbase once ...

Ridiculous Journal Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about journal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean magazine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make journal pranks.

"Having too much s**... can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.

Having too much s**... can cause memory loss

I read it on page 37 in a medical journal in November 2006 at 4:19pm

Science Joke

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the violent ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked out into the waves. He was pulled under and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked out to the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote in his journal, "Physicist and Biologist both soluble."

Rorschach's Joke

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

The difference between birds

A new study from a renowned bird journal found the difference between crows and ravens.
Apparently, aside from size, their wings are made differently. The common crow has six pinions per wing, while the raven has only five.
The conclusion: It is only a difference of a pinion.

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

Jeffery d**... kept a journal, he wrote how he would take the noses of his victims and make pizzas with them.

Dahmersnose Pizza.

A journalist asked a programmer:- What makes code bad?

No comment.

Hitlers Disease

A little known fact about Adolf h**... he had severe asthma and lung issues his whole life. He even wrote in his journal about it briefly titled Mein Cough.

Journalist asks:

-Comrade Stalin, do you have any hobby?
-I collect jokes about me.
-And how many have you collected so far?
-About two and a half gulags.

Journalist to Abused Wife

Journalist : Do you know what your husband does in his free time ?
Wife : *shrugs* beats me.

Why did the journalist fail at killing himself?

Because of the breaking noose.

Having too much s**... can cause memory loss

I read it in Men's Health Journal 2006 on page 73 paragraph 4 footnote 3.

What did the journalist say when he saw an obese sea cow explode?

Oh the huge manatee!

Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Dixie.
(Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever)

Did you know too much s**... can cause memory loss

I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth paying to replace so many devices!"

"Then why are Androids so much cheaper?", asked the journalist.

"Because," said Tim Cook, "an Android replaces just one device. The iPhone."

Did you guys know too much s**... can cause memory loss?

I learnt that in a medical journal, page 34. At 3:38pm on Thursday the 7th.

How many journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three:
One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the poor.
One to report it as a conspiracy to deprive the poor of darkness.
And one to win a Pulitzer Prize for reporting that the electric company hired someone to break the lightbulb in the first place.
But in the end none of them actually changed the bulb.

A journalist tries to find out how different professions deals with basic math.

So he asks them a simple question: "How much is 1+1?"
The mechanical engineer quickly opens a handbook and say, the handbook says 2, let's make it 3 just in case.
The physicist starts scribbling and after 5 minutes say it's between 1.95 and 2.05 within 3 sigma confidence level.
The mathematician start writing formulas and within half an hour he announces he can prove that there is a solution.
The lawyer takes the journalist to the side and whispers, how much do you want it to be?

Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million:

1. Get up at 5:00AM every day
2. 90 minutes of cardio
3. Take a cold shower
4. Journal
5. Schedule out your day
6. Dad owns Fortune 500 company
7. Meditate

The journalist asked, "Excuse me, is it true that quantum computing could spell the end of civilization as we know it?"

The scientist replied:
"Yes ... and no. It's a bit uncertain."

A journalist is sentenced to die at the gallows, but they run out of rope

He says: "I guess no noose is good news"

A few years ago I started a journal of different rocks I've found in the wilderness. For a while I was stuck with 68 entries, until I finally found number 69...

**Gneiss!**

I read in a medical journal that sniffing Rosemary will improve your immunity during this rainy season...

But my colleague is not understanding when I do this and now she's calling the security...

Having too much s**... can cause memory loss.

I read it on page 14 in a medical journal on the 14th November 2019 at 3.19pm

Went to a journalists house for dinner and he'd put stickers over his ketchup, mayo and tobasco bottles.

Apparently he likes to keep all his sauces anonymous.

When journalists quote you, they have a subtle but unmistakable way to call out your grammatical errors.

It's a [sic] burn.

A journalist asks a Russian soldier

- 'How is life in Russia?'
- 'I can't complain' said the soldier

A journalist is writing an article about the trend for Scottish men to wear tights under their kilts

She walks up to an old man on the streets of Glasgow and asks 'excuse me, do you ever wear a kilt?'
'Aye, about once a week or so you'll catch me in a kilt.'
'Well when you wear a kilt, do you wear tights underneath?'
'Aye, every time I've worn a kilt for the past three years I make sure to put on tights.'
'I see, why did you only start doing that three years ago?'
'Well lass, was about three years ago that my wife found a pair of tights in the back of my car.'

Journal joke, A journalist is writing an article about the trend for Scottish men to wear tights under their kilts

jokes about journal