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Joseph Jokes

94 joseph jokes and hilarious joseph puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about joseph that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Join in with President Joseph Estrada, Elizabeth, and Robert as they improvise their way through some of the funniest Joseph jokes. From banter about the Innkeeper to witty observations about the country, these jokes will have you laughing! Get ready for a good time!

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Popular Joseph Short Jokes

Short joseph jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The joseph humour may include short maria jokes also.

  1. If Christians are against gay marriage... Why do they always talk about Jesus marryin' Joseph?
  2. So there's this girl named Mary... 1. Mary meets a guy named Joseph
    2. Mary ends up pregnant
    3. ???
    4. Prophet
  3. Her: Come over, Joseph! Stalin: Can't, I'm sending people to gulag
    Her: My parents aren't at home
    Stalin: I know
  4. Biblical Parenting Techniques Joseph: What should we do about Jesus acting up in school?
    Mary: I don't know it's not like raising the Son of God came with Emmanuel
  5. Why were Mary and Joseph considered such good businessmen? Because they produced such a great prophet.
  6. And Jesus said unto them, "Come forth and you shall receive everlasting life." We all know how John came fith and won a toaster, but Joseph didn't even come and he got a baby!
  7. A Jewish woman turns to her husband and asks, # "Joseph, what is my love worth to you?"
    # Joseph thinks for a while and replies," Am I buying or selling?"
  8. Mary and Joseph had nobody but themselves to blame for having to spend the night in a stable They should have known it will be impossible to get last minute accommodation on Christmas.
  9. Why couldn't Mary and Joseph get a room at the inn? Well it was Christmas....they should have booked ahead
  10. What's the difference in an Italian Nativity An Italian nativity has Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, and a couple of wise guys

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Joseph One Liners

Which joseph one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with joseph? I can suggest the ones about bible and holy.

  1. Who is Joseph Kony's favorite rapper? Soulja Boy
  2. Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked? Because Jesus WEPt.
  3. Jesus's name was going to be Frank Then Joseph stubbed his toe and the rest is history
  4. Joseph never learned how to drive a stick shift. He kept Stalin.
  5. Why couldn't people find Joseph? He was Haydn!
  6. Why couldn't Joseph Stalin be a pilot? Because he was always stalin.
  7. Why did the Cold War never happen? Because Joseph was Stalin.
  8. If Joseph Stalin completed all of his highschool credits Does that make him a Stalingrad?
  9. My name is Joseph King. Nah, just JoeKing.
  10. What do you call a genocidal turkey? Joseph Gobbles.
  11. What do Joseph Stalin and Superman have in common? They're both *men of steel*.
  12. Mom, why is dad so pale? Shut up Joseph, just keep digging
  13. Why was Joseph late to the meeting? He was Stalin.
  14. Why did Joseph Goebbels own a pair of binoculars? For proper gander purposes.
  15. If you crack a Joseph Stalin joke.. I am obliged to give full Marx for effort.

Joseph Stalin Jokes

Here is a list of funny joseph stalin jokes and even better joseph stalin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Joseph didn't want to go to the United Nations meeting. He called in sick. I guess he was Stalin.
  • Why is Joseph not allowed to fly planes? Because he is always Stalin.
  • Why could Joseph Stalin never be a leader in his country today? Because these days, it's all Russian.
  • Why could Joseph never get anything done? Because he was always Stalin..
  • What's the difference between Donald Trump and Joseph Stalin? One's stallin' because he colludes with Russians, and one was Stalin because he gulag'd with Russians.
  • Joseph Stalin decides to reorganize the Soviet police. Each unit will consist of three officers:
    * one to read the bulletins
    * one to write the reports, and
    * one to keep an eye on the intellectuals
  • What do Joseph Stalin and Aladdin have in common? They're both one step ahead of the breadline.
  • What's Joseph Stalin's least favourite sport? Skiing, Trotskiing.
  • My friend got a hamster, I said "Name him Joseph Stalin, so you don't feel bad when he dies.", he blocked me.
  • What's Joseph Stalins least favourite board game? Monopoly.
Joseph joke, What's Joseph Stalins least favourite board game?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about joseph can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of joseph puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Joseph Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about joseph you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean john jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make joseph prank.

Birth of Jesus


Mary: the King of Kings!
Wise men: the Lord and Saviour!
Joseph: who's white baby is this?

Three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger...

One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ" he exclaimed.
Joseph said: "Write that down, Mary. It's better than Wayne."

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court

Another old jew on the deathbed,

He could barely see, only shades, but he could still talk. He turned to his wife and said:
-Is David, my oldest son here? *cough*
-Yes
-is Eli, my middle son here?
-Yes, he is here too
-is Joseph here too ?
-Yes, yes, everyone is here
-*cough*, if everyone is here, why is the light in the kitchen on?

How do historians know that Joseph wasn't Jesus' dad?

Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.

I put the "infant" in Infantry

- Joseph Kony.

God said too Joseph, come fourth and be granted with enternal life...

Joseph came fifth and got a toaster

Joseph confronts Mary...

Joseph: "Mary, I've heard you've been prostituting your body through the town!"
Mary: "Don't worry, Joseph. I was just trying to make a little prophet."

Joseph and Mary are having a romp in the hay.

Mary says, "what if I get pregnant, what will I tell them?" Joseph replies, "you will think of something."

So my cousin s**... up bigtime

My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.

Everyone were dying, except joseph

He kept stalin his death

Did you hear about the magic pen that God gave Joseph Smith to write the Book of m**...?

Every time Joe wrote something made up, the pen would leave ink on the page.

How did Joseph react when Mary shocked him that she was pregnant with Jesus?

"Mother of God..."

Why did it take the Soviet Union such a long time to invade Germany?

They were Joseph Stalin.

Why was Mary a v**...?

Because Joseph the Carpenter worked his own wood.

Why did Joseph McCarthy go piano shopping?

He was looking for Communist Synthesizers

Why Did Baby Jesus Go to Jerusalem?

A catechist asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.A small child replied, They couldn't get a baby-sitter?

A farm worker greets Joseph Stalin at his potato farm

Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God, the farmer excitedly tells his leader.
But God does not exist, replies Stalin.
Exactly, says the farmer. Neither do the potatoes.

Joseph decides it's time to tell Jesus the truth....

Since Jesus is a teenager, Joseph thinks he can handle it. He tells Jesus that he's not really his father, in a technical sense.
Jesus is incredulous. He can't believe it. He asks who his father really is.
Joseph explains to Jesus that he's the son of god. Jesus can't even comprehend this. He can only manage to stammer out "No way"
Joseph looks at him and says "Yahweh..."

How did Mary and Joseph know..

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 4.2 kg? Cause they had a weigh in the manger.

Joseph: No rooms? Dude she's about to give a birth to humanity savior

Inkeeper: Sorry we get really busy around Christmas time
Joseph: Around what time?

An exasperated and weary Joseph asked the innkeeper, "Do you have any rooms?"

The innkeeper shook his head and replied, "No, we're all full."
Joseph pleaded, "Listen, my wife is pregnant..."
The innkeeper retorted, "Hey, that's not my fault!"
Joseph shouted, "It's not mine, either!!"

Saint Peter has a day off...

... so Jesus takes his place. A man arrives at the Pearly Gates.
Jesus: Hello. Name?
Man: Joseph.
Jesus: What did you do for a living?
Man: Well...I was a carpenter.
Jesus: Have you made any good to humanity?
Man: Oh yes. I raised a child that revolutionized the world.
After along pause... Of thinking how much of a coincidence it is... Of re-reading what he wrote down. Jesus look up. Tears in his eyes.
Jesus: DAD?!
Man: PINOCCHIO!

Joseph and Mary began talking...

Stalin visits a farm

One day, Joseph Stalin visits an agricultural collective. And so....
Stalin: Comrade, how much wheat do you have?
Farmer: Comrade Stalin, we have enough wheat to reach God!
Stalin: Comrade, as a Marxist, you know that there is no God!
Farmer: Comrade Stalin, as a Marxist, you know that there is no wheat!

Joseph Stalin is walking through a small town when he came upon a little girl

Joseph Stalin was walking through a small town when he came upon a little girl sitting in the doorway of a house. He smiled at her and said "Little girl, do you know who I am?"
The little girl gives him a blank stare.
"You really don't know? I'm the one who gave you everything you have!"
The little girl's face lights up, and she runs into the house shouting "Mum! Mum! Uncle Ivan is home from America!"

Why did Mary and Joseph break up?

She kept calling out her baby daddy's name during s**......oh god oh god.
I made this up last night! OC!!

Joseph Stalin goes to visit one of the farming collectives outside Moscow

He wants to see their progress with the latest Five-Year Plan.
'Tell Me Comrade,' he asks one farmer. 'How did the potatoes do this year?'
'Very Well, Comrade Stalin. If we piled them up, they would reach God.'
'But God does not exist, Comrade Farmer'
'Nor do the Potatoes, Comrade Stalin'

There was no room at the inn. Joseph and Mary were really furious.

What they need is manger management.

Saint Joseph said Jesus, close the door behind you. Were you born in a barn?

Whatever! You're not my real dad!

Mary and Joseph talking

Mary: Oh no my period is late
Joseph: Oh no how late
Mary: I dunno, what's the date
Joseph: hmm, according to the calendar it's 9 months BC
Mary: 9 months what now

What does an atheist call the meeting of Muhammad, Moses, and Joseph Smith?

A non-prophet organization

Christmas movie surprise.

Last night I watched a Nigerian Christmas Movie and on that part when Mary (Jesus's mom) told Joseph that she's pregnant...
Joseph was surprised and shouted; Oohh Jesus Christ!!!

The ghost of Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin...

appears before Russian president Vladimir Putin and says, I've got two pieces of advice for you; kill your political opponents and paint the Kremlin blue.
Putin ponders this for awhile, then replies, Why blue?

Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven...

God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know.
Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election?
God: Joseph R. Biden
Conspiracy Theorist 2: \*Looks at his friend\* s**... dude, this goes even deeper than we thought

Lenin was on the deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side...

Lenin says: "Joseph... I'm not sure you're the right man to lead the country after me. I don't know if the people will follow you."
Stalin responds: "Don't worry, Vladimir Ilyich. Half of the country will follow me, and the other half will follow you."

Lenin is on his deathbed

He got Stalin by his side. He talks to Stalin:
-Joseph, I am not sure if you are the right person to rule this country. I don't know if our people will follow you.
Stalin responds:
-Don't worry Vladimir; half of our people will follow me, and the other half will follow you!

Why is Joseph jealous of Jesus ?

Because Jesus is getting a second coming while he didn't even get a first one

Jesus becomes a man

Jesus is hitting puberty and Joseph wants to help him become a man. He approaches Mary Magdelene to enlist her help to which she readily agrees.
He takes her back to the tent and waits outside.
A few minutes later, Mary runs from the tent screaming.
Joseph enters the tent and asks what happened.
Jesus spoke: She came in and started to snuggle real close. After a bit she stood up and dropped her robe. I could see that she was very different from me.
So I healed her

Joseph joke, Jesus becomes a man

jokes about joseph

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these joseph jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.