Jong Jokes

Following is our collection of supreme humor and dotard one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Jong puns for adults, dirty han jokes or clean terrorists gags for kids.

There is an abundance of liners jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 84 funniest jokes on jong. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any missiles witze you can hear about jong.

The Best jokes about Jong

Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI

No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.

Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:

"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."

They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book

That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.

Why does Kim Jong Un love books?

Because he is the Supreme Reader.

What's the difference between Kim jong un and dominoes ?

Dominoes can deliver a crispy Hawaiian in less than 30 minutes


BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

I don't get how a member of the Kim Jong family dies randomly

He wasn't even Il

What did Kim Jong Il call his Kindle?

The Dear Reader.

Don't make fun of Kim Jong Un just because of his condition.

It's not his fault he suffers from projectile dysfunction.

What's the most hated vegetable in the world?

Kim Jong un

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has control over his country.


I've just sold some glass rockets to Kim Jong Un.

I hope he's pleased with his new, clear weapons.

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder...

...Is Kim Jong ill?

If Kim Jong Un was a girl...

Send nukes

What's Kim Jong Un's favorite step of mitosis?

Nuclear division.

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20-story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.

First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."

Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."

Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.

Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.

Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"

Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"

DPRK sends astronaut to the sun

Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors:

North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

What an idiot! We can send them at night!

His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:

What an idiot!…

There is no sun at night!

I just read an article in the news that Kim Jong Un reads more than 1,000 books a year...

I guess that's why they call him the Supreme Reader.


Why is Kim Jong UN so bent on nuking the world?

He has no Seoul

Kim Jong Un walked into a bar

The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump

Why didn't Kim Jong Un cry when he heard his half brother, Kim Jong Nam, had been killed?

Because the news was unbereaveable.

Did you know that Kim Jong Un has read every book in existance?

Thats why they call him the Supreme Reader

Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries.

They decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient. They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.

Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.
Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"

Kim Jong Un is currently..

The Shrodingers cat of dictators.

Osama, Ghaddafi, and Kim Jong Il?

Santa must be taking his naughty list a tad seriously this year.

There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.

But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

Kim Jong Un sent Donald Trump a letter...

to let him know he was still open to denuclearization. Trump opened the letter and found a single-line coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Trump was confused, so he asked his aides to figure it out. The aides couldn't understand where the code came from, so they forwarded it to the FBI.

The FBI came back without an answer so they forwarded it to the CIA. The CIA had no idea so they reached out to the MSS (Ministry of State Security in China) for help.

Within a few seconds, MSS wrote back with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Happiness

Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump are on a plane. As the plane flies over a poor city, the Korean dictator looks through the window and claims:

-If I were to toss a dollar off the plane, I would make one person happy.

-If I were to throw a hundred dollars in pennies, I could make entire families happier,- says President Putin.

-Please, the amount of spare change I could find in my pockets alone would cheer up the city,- boasts President Trump.

-And if I were to throw you three off the plane, I would make the entire humanity happy,- adds the pilot.

Kim Jong Un claims to have golfed 38 under par...

...But his story is full of holes.

Why is Kim Jong Un so crazy?

His father was mentally Il.

Why did Kim Jong Un Instagram his missile?

It was the only way he could send it.

Did you hear about the surgeon who botched Kim Jong Un surgery?

Yeah, me neither.

Kim Jong il is dead?

I guess that's the end of HIS Korea.

What would Kim Jong Un call his children?

His young'uns

Kim Jon Un is reported to be sick.

He is now Kim Jong Ill.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it?

Last Names

What do you call a Kim jong un clone ?

kim jong dos

Trump, Putin, and Kim Jong Un are walking through the jungle

They all trip and fall into a pit of quicksand. A sign next to the pit reads, "the more you lie, the faster you sink." Kim Jong Un is up to his neck, and Putin is at his waist. Trump appears to be perfectly calm and not sinking at all. Putin asks how this is possible. Trump replies, "I'll be alright. I'm standing on Sean Spicer."

Kim Jong Un recently banned the blues scale...

He hates Seoul music

Kim Jong Un: I have a big button on my desk Donald Trump: I have a big button on my desk

Hawaii Emergency Alert Guy: Hold my beer

Why is Kim Jong Un cruel?

He doesn't have a Seoul

What did the doctor say after Kim Jong Un died ?

Kim Jong Un-responsive

What weighs 20 times a North Korean?

Kim Jong Un.

Why is Kim Jong Un so cruel?

Because he doesn't have a Seoul.

"The Interview" Joke

Kim Jong Un walks past a movie theater and sees a movie poster for "The Interview."
He says "I wouldn't be caught dead in that."

How is the United States and frozen food the same?

Kim Jong Un doesn't have the technology to nuke either of them.

I heard that Kim Jong Un is sick.

I guess that makes him Kim Jong Ill

(I hope this isn't a repost)

Who is the Supreme leader of House Techno Music?

Kim Jong Untz-untz-untz-untz

News headline indicates there's been a zombie outbreak in North Korea

Headline: Kim Jong, Un-Dead

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20 story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.

First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."

Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."

Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.

Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running
toward the window.

Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"

Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"

What do you call it when Kim Jong Un is sick

Kim Jong Ill

What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game?

Kim Jong Uno

Kim Jong Un released a statement today

I don't know what it said it must've been Morse code, all it said was *beep* *beep* *beep* *beeeeeep*

Western tourist in North Korea

So a western journalist goes on a tour of North Korea. He flies in to Pyongyang, an officially government licensed tour guide shows him around. He sees all the wonderful stores and streets that the city has to offer, and then finally he comes to the magnificent 30-story tall Kim Jong Un monument.
"Wow this is very beautiful, you must be very proud of it!" he said

his tour guide noddedβ€” "yes, we must be very proud."

They say Kim Jong Un is heartless and a murder...

It's because he has no Seoul

I much prefer Kim Jong Un to Donald Trump

One of them was a businessman for most of his life, while the other has been a politician for his whole Korea!

Kim Jong un would be great at call of duty

If team kills counted twords the "nuke" scorestreak

What's the difference between Kim Jong Un and Hillary Clinton?

One is called "The Great Leader" and the other, "Great Deleter"

I wonder what happened to Kim Jong Un

Maybe he's Un-responsive

If the United States is serious about stopping Kim Jong Un

Just send in Cam Newton - he'll overthrow Kim.

Kim Jong Un was working for Thanos the whole time

He was trying to get the Seoul Stone

I messed up while sexting with Kim Jong Un.

"Send Nukes"

Just like his father, Kim Jong Un takes a binocular wherever he goes.

For proper gander purposes.

Kim Jong Un and Putin are riding in a plane together

When they flew over Russia, Putin said, "I threw 100 dollars out the window and made 100 of my peasants happy"

When they flew over North Korea, Kim said, "I threw 1,000 dollars out the window and made 1,000 of my peasants happy"

When they flew over the Ocean, the pilot told the co-pilot, "I could throw 2 people out of the window and make everyone happy"

What's Kim Jong Un's favorite game?

Don't Starve Together

Do you know how Kim Jong Un's father died?

He was very il

What do Kim Jong Un, Donald Trump and a pulley have in common?

They all love being the center of a tension.

Donald Trump was greeted with a naked picture of Kim Jong Un in today's meeting

Kim thought his advisors told him to interfere with US erections.

According to North Korean press, Kim Jong Il has entered a sleeping contest.

Ta-da!

A sociopathic egomaniac...

A sociopathic egomaniac authoritarian leader accused of causing the deaths of tens of thousands is brain dead. Meanwhile in North Korea, Kim Jong Un is reported to be in critical condition.

Kim jong il takes Kim jong un on a visit to a food processing company.

Il points at a machine and says: This one, you put a pig into it and sausages will come out on the other side. The power of science is amazing! To which Un replied: Is there a device then, where you put in a sausage, and pig comes out?
β€’

Kim jong il: YOURMOM

Why is Kim Jong Un such an evil dictator?

Because he has no Seoul.

If Kim Jong Un named his son Kim Jong

Then his sons full name would be Kim Jong Deux

What did Kim Jong Un say after a nuclear war with China?

"when I said nuke the Chinese, I was talking about the left overs!"

Why does Kim Jong Un have an email?

So he can eat all the spam.

Someone asked me if Kim Jong was ill

I said no that was his father

What was Kim Jong Un's favorite class in school?

Literature. He is a supreme reader after all.

What's Kim Jong Un's favourite sport team?

Houston Rockets ...

China apologizes for "slanderous" comments about Kim Jong Un.

Says they didn't realize he was a part of their fitness protection program.

A midget, a fat man, and an Asian walk into a bar...

...it's Kim jong un

What is the celebrity couple name for Kim Jong Un and Xi Jinping?

Kimchi

What's the difference between a nuclear button and a hospital call button?

Kim Jong Un won't ever use the nuclear button again

With Kim Jong Un's death possible, his successor would be his sister. Perhaps we wouldn't have to worry about being nuked all the time.

We'd only have to worry about being nuked once a month!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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